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Oh, I went through this when my daughter was a young teen. She wanted to get one of those glow in the dark dice belly button rings. I told her guys have been able to find what they were looking for - for years without a runway beacon under the covers. She ended up doing it anyway with the help of a friend.
I wouldn't bother to tell the mom of these girls. She'll eventually find out on her own.
I hid my belly button ring from my mom for a little bit (but mind you I was 17 when I did mine, not 13!!!) eventually though karma came around and as I came out of a dressing room one day my shirt wasn't pulled all the way down and my mom saw it! BUSTED! Thankfully my mom didn't kill me like I thought she would........
But I will say this... it weighed HEAVY on my conscious. I don't know about OTHER people (like those girls) but when I hide something from my parents I feel SO guilty that at some point I spill or I get caught. KARMA. That's all I gota say.
I have an idea if you want to remain anonymous! Write a NICE, ANONYMOUS letter to the mom and let her know that you've heard around town that it's a possibility that her daughter has her belly button pierced. THAT way you won't look like a tattle tale. I for one would want to know if MY 13 year old daughter did that! I would be FURIOUS! 13???!?!?!??! That is so ridiculously young to have a belly button piercing!!!! Not to mention if they DID do it by themselves it IS most likely infected and that girl isn't saying anything! There's no way that girl knows how to take care of a piercing! (the right way to wash it, disinfect it, neosporin it)..... I wouldn't let this go on much longer for fear she could get gangrene on part of her stomach!!!!!
13+ is old enough to know and communicate that you are ill.
Its really not that big of a deal since nothing happened.
What I would do is talk to yours about the risks that come with body art. Especially DIY.
Be logical..Not nuts.
13+ is old enough to know and communicate that you are ill.
Its really not that big of a deal since nothing happened.
What I would do is talk to yours about the risks that come with body art. Especially DIY.
Be logical..Not nuts.
Ya she may KNOW it's infected.... but she would probably hide that TOO along with the piercing for fear of being punished. It's serious. Kids are kinda dumb nowadays and they think they're SO grown up WAYYYYY before they actually are. I would tell. It's my honest opinion. I would tell.
Ya she may KNOW it's infected.... but she would probably hide that TOO along with the piercing for fear of being punished. It's serious. Kids are kinda dumb nowadays and they think they're SO grown up WAYYYYY before they actually are. I would tell. It's my honest opinion. I would tell.
Systematic infection is easy to spot. Belly button rings are easy to keep clean by just cleaning it out and neosporin use. Kids are not stupid. Thats why you educate your own on things that are not a problem yet.
Two of my daughters old friends have done this in the past few months. My daughter is not close friends w/ these girls anymore after some really bad problems last year. ...So one of them pierces her belly button and this one I swear her mom probably helped her. They probably did it together. At first we told our daughter it may not be true and could just be something she is saying she did to be "cool" as not many at school like the girls in this group because of their actions and the "drama" they try to cause. I've been at the school and overheard kids talking about it and they HAVE seen it so she did do it.
Now another girl in this group has done the same thing supposedly. She told another girl that is not a super close friend that told others. The girl said she has to hide it from her mom (no duh). After the issues last year with this group and I let all of the parents involved know what happened at OUR HOUSE the only one that talks to us is the 2nd girl. I know if my daughter did it I would want to know. Would you? Should I call her and let her know?
If I DID call her this is how I'd start the conversation:
I don't know if you know this already but I did want to make you aware of it. It may not be true at all but if it were me I'd want to know. my daughter heard that your daughter has pierced her belly button. She hasn't seen it and doesn't know anyone that has. We do know that her friend "x" has also done it.
Now, this 2nd girl (the one w/ the mom I would call) was up at the school recently talking to a teacher in one of the honors classes her daughter was kicked out of along w/ a few other kids because of their attitudes. My daughter did see her and heard her say to the teacher, "I don't know why she is acting like this". Well, we DO know why and it is the group of kids she is hanging around. We saw it last year coming before our daughter did. It took my daughter experiencing the really bad s$!@ to realize they were not "true friends".
What would YOU do?
I think you and your daughter need to stay out of it. Seriously.
As was mentioned, your daughter will suffer the consequences of you butting in because the mother would probably say, well so & so's mother called saying you pierced your belly button.
Apparently something happened at your house and now only one parent is speaking to you. If it was me, I would wonder if you were trying to start trouble after that incident.
Quote:
Originally Posted by momof2dfw
As for the "sex" part.............. these kids all did have a myspace. They probably still do. I always monitored my daughters and checked EVERYTHING out (she doesn't have one now). I knew by what the other girls were saying and the pics they were posting that their parents were NOT watching them on the computer at all or monitoring ANYTHING they did. The pictures were BAD!!! I'm talking close to being child porn. It really was sad to see them behave in such a way being that they had all been friends for sooooo long. That and still being "little girls".
How do you really know your kid doesn't have a myspace?
Sorry but I doubt she doesn't.
Although you might not find traces of it on your computer, there are other computers she can use to get one. I don't doubt your kid knows how to erase history and clear form data, most do these days.
Lack of parental supervision - plain and simple. What mom and dad do not see or know, nothing can be done about.
When you couple that with the images shoved at these kids 24/7 - things we would have never dreamed of as kids comes out in full force. I am sickened everytime I wander into myspace (my son has a page there, as do most people I know under the age of 30)and see what these kids deem to be cool or 'the thing to do'.
I often wonder where the parents are, and I think it breaks down to this: some are totally absent and do not care, some are trying to be good parents but have to be absent to support the family, some think they know what to look for but the kids outsmart them - and the worst, I think - it happens right under their noses and they trust their child to do the right thing - but they do not.
I am repulsed at what the media slings at the kids these days, and even moreso at what many parents think are acceptable. Just because every one else is doing it and times are changing doesn't make it right. Parents need to get so involved with what their kids are doing that they know beyond a shadow of a doubt what their child is doing. It doesn't have to be hard either - just talk and listen. And yes, snoop if you have too. They are under our roof, we are responsible, and we have every right to know what they are doing.
I am old-school, I know, and not one who believes a child has to have his/her privacy and 'own space' to a point parents are kept out of rooms, away from phone conversations and out of sight from computer screens.
Parents have the ability to stop this mess before it starts - but many, I think, are afraid of their child's reaction. Tough! Nip it in the bud!
And, as for telling the parents about the piercing, I do agree it may not be a good idea, but there has to be someway to drop a hint about the crowd this girl is running with. She could really be in for major trouble if it is not called to their attention.
Us parents have to stick together - the kids sure do!
A little off topic, but goes along with the *fast lane* these kids are traveling these days....What the Heck is up with PADDED bras for little girsl!!! Was shopping for socks for grand'un and turned around and before my very eyes were PADDED bras....Like size -A. And I mean padded, not some light fiberfil stuff, but like adults thick boobie padding!! WHY?? If those were training bras, I think I will go back to sleep.
It is no wonder kids are growing up so fast these days and sneaking around and piercing stuff and gosh knows what else! Seems like so much is aimed at them to grow up FAST.......
sorry I needed to rant and this seemed like a good place
I think you and your daughter need to stay out of it. Seriously.
As was mentioned, your daughter will suffer the consequences of you butting in because the mother would probably say, well so & so's mother called saying you pierced your belly button.
Apparently something happened at your house and now only one parent is speaking to you. If it was me, I would wonder if you were trying to start trouble after that incident.
How do you really know your kid doesn't have a myspace?
Sorry but I doubt she doesn't.
Although you might not find traces of it on your computer, there are other computers she can use to get one. I don't doubt your kid knows how to erase history and clear form data, most do these days.
1. I did not say I was GOING to say anything. Just wanting to know if OTHER parents would want to know. Even if it was anonymous which is what I would most likely do.
2. Yes, something happened at our house on my daughters birthday. It was REALLY BAD! I let every one of those girls parents know exactly what happened and that it would not be tolerated in MY house and that their childs actions were banning them from ever being in my house again. I really did not care what the parents thought as I'm not THEIR close friend and I'm not here to be a bunch of 13 year olds friend. If what they did is wrong then it is wrong. If MY child would have done such I would want to know and my child would be in SERIOUS trouble. Not only were things done towards my daughter but to us and her younger sister. I will NOT stand by innocently and NOT do something that a bunch of CHILDREN did against me. They were old enough to know better but obviously thought they were better than others. I was not ugly when I told the parents what happened and how disappointed we were at all. I just laid it all out on the line of what their "little angels" did. How they chose to deal with it is their business. Two of the 3 had parents that already let their kids run over them and tell them what to do and I knew those parents would not do a thing.
No, I'm not trying to cause any trouble. I wish all of them would wake up one day SOON and realize that their actions were ruining their lives. They are throwing away a great opportunity right now in their education that can follow them into high school and college.
3. Yes I do know there are ways for people to hide what they do on a computer. I also know what to look for and DO pay close attention. The only computer outside of school my daughter has ANY access to is here in our home and is the one I'm working on right now. It is in our office and we are always in here whenever she is on it. If we are gone and she is left at home it is locked up and she can't even get into the room. The school computers block all of those sites. And my daughter is open w/ me and she knows that if she tries anything I will find out.
eventually (sp) her body will reject the piercing if it doesn't get infected first because piercing it yourself you will not get it in the right spot and there is no way in h3ll that they used *clean* tools to do it or have the right stuff to clean the piercing. I have had one and it really is no big deal IF it is done by a professional. I wish you the best of luck in what you decide.
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It really was sad to see them behave in such a way being that they had all been friends for sooooo long. That and still being "little girls".
