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I just need to vent, but of course views and opinions are always welcome!
My DD is 13. was always one of the best kids around. other parents/neighbors/friends still think that is the case. We have been going through the "normal" teenage stuff lately. I try to stay the middle ground, but lately I just want to lock her away and take everything!
she has had all brand name clothing taken away for attitude/mouth. gets one piece back at a time when she goes a full day with no issues. no tv,friends, extras because of grades. used to be honor roll kid now is barely passing. this is her first yr of middle school and I hear this is common, but it is driving me crazy! Now I find out one of the boys she has been walking home from school with is on house arrest and smokes! then I look at her myspace and they are sending around comments about a 10 yr old girl that killed both parents!
for the most part she is still a good kid, but I am worrying that she is slipping. I was 13 the first time I went out drinking. I am probably over analyzing all of this but I am so worried I will do the wrong thing. Not enough dicipline or so much that I push her away.
On the bright side her myspace is still very cheery where as a lot of her friends are kind of depressing. she also jumped on top of me and gave me a kiss yesterday for no reason.
I will recommend a book: Get Out of My Life, but first can you drive me and Cheryl to the mall?
I don't remember the author, google it and you will find it.
My dd will be 13 in a couple of months. She too is in a new public school after having been in a private since age 4. I would like to think that she has been given a solid foundation to make good decisions and keep high morals. She too has the "teen" attitude that causes me to take privileges away. She makes good grades, but if they do slip she looses her Wii or DS. I wouldn't dream of letting her have a myspace account. She is still limited as to what she can access on the internet.
My daughter is 12 and 2 weeks ago, in desperation, I started to read a book recommended by a friend called:
"How to really love your teenager" by Ross Campbell.
It is quite short and very simple in its advice but I am finding it very useful. I have started to follow some of its advice and the past week has been a lot more pleasant for the whole family.
The author is a Christian but the points he makes I think are valid for any parent, Christian or not.
I'm going to check into both of those books. I know most of this is normal, but I am worrying that her morals are slipping. I expect her to make dumb mistakes but there just seems to be to many of them, to quickly. I also think I am probably talking her to death lately. It seems I am going on and on so much that I start to bore myself. LOL
My dd will be 13 in a couple of months. She too is in a new public school after having been in a private since age 4. I would like to think that she has been given a solid foundation to make good decisions and keep high morals. She too has the "teen" attitude that causes me to take privileges away. She makes good grades, but if they do slip she looses her Wii or DS. I wouldn't dream of letting her have a myspace account. She is still limited as to what she can access on the internet.
I closely monitor her myspace. that was one of the middle of the road things I have tried. She knows the second she tries to hide something from me, it will be taken away. also, we have talked about all of the dangers.
I honestly am one of those parents that would have never thought "my daughter" would act this way. This is a child that gave half of her xmas presents to the needy 2 yrs ago.
These are challenging years. Keep the lines of communication open and stay firm on your expectations. I used to find that taking my daughter (and sometimes a gf) out for a bite after school once in awhile would really get them to open up in a non-confrontational way. I always liked to hear their opinions on things. And they like to be heard and feel like their thoughts matter. Watch their friends and keep in touch with teachers. Good luck!
OUr teenage duaghters are awesome! They are very helpful and responsible. We had a hard time at around 10 - 13 years. They use to say "I hate you' a lot. Ignore it and do nto let it give them power. We used to compete to see who could get the most "I hate yous" Our repsonse was always "Thank you, but I will just love you if that is ok" or Hey maa I got three I hate yous today how are you doing"
We did eventaully take everything oout of their room becuase they were extremely disrespectful and owuld not clean their room. I think that we left them some underwear, but took absolutely everything else out. Furtniture, clothing, toys, everything. They had to earn back everything. It worked very well and we never had to do that again (good thing, it was a lot of work).
From 10 - 13 was tough. 14 was ok. From 15 to 17 was wonderful. They are so awesome. I sit up for at least half an hour each night in their room just talking with them. Not becuase they need it, but because they are so cool.
Maybe they will massivelyt rebel in college, but for now, they are great. Their younger sister is more of a challenge at 14, ,but she has her awesome moments too.
I will recommend a book: Get Out of My Life, but first can you drive me and Cheryl to the mall?
I don't remember the author, google it and you will find it.
I have just ordered this book on Amazon. Thank you for the reccommendation, Sandycat, it sounds really good
We have two grown sons, and a daughter who is now 17. Boy, are teenage girls different than teenage boys!
Our daughter is a wonderful person, but those years from 12-15 were pretty rough in regards to moods & attitudes. Much better now, though there are moments.
I think it's just part of the rough ride of growing up - especially for girls. I've never yet met a woman who would like to be a junior high girl again.
I think the best that you can do is just love on your girl and keep talking to her.
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