Spanking Children Causes Them to Have Spanking Fetishes (teenagers, effect, attention)
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I was never spanked, yet I have a spanking fetish. I am the spanker though, not spankee.
My sister pulled my hair a lot as a child. Does this mean I will grow up (i am grown up) to have a lesbian hair pulling fetish? hmmm...how will my boyfriend ever understand...
I only scanned this long article. However, several things stood out to me about it.
1. The author, Dugan, was anti-spanking before he wrote the article.
2. Dugan states " No two individuals are alike".
3. Dugan admits that "Definitive research has yet to be done".
I don't dispute that if spanking (just like any other practice) is carried to an extreme it may result in problems. The idea though that typical parents who use ordinary spanking with their kids ought to be concerned about causing their kids to have a spanking fetish is just silly.
I guess I would define ordinary spanking as a few slaps of a hand to a clothed butt. (I hope underwear counts as "clothed" because I have spanked that way on a couple of occasions). If this is all it takes to cause a "fetish" than heaven knows what else is causing our children to develop fetishes? Perhaps, all those fights at the dinner table over eating properly are turning our children in to anorexics and bulemics? How about a seat belt fetish from all the times we have to demand our children put on their seat belts in the car?
I'm starting to think getting into this childraising business was a terrible mistake. Think of all the harm we are doing children by raising them.
Seriously though, if the anti-spanking people are going to win this debate than they are going to have to come up with alternative discipline techniques that work better than the ones I've seen so far. Time outs, grounding, and even loss of privileges have their limitations. What works with one child doesn't necessarily work with another. Ultimately, a child's parent is a better judge of what works than some child psychologist studying and doing research at a college.
If spanking was so wonderful and worked then parents would only have to do it once and the child would never do another wrong thing. If you have had to do it more than once in your child's childhood, ask yourself whether you might want to try something else.
Another thing is that parents who spank have to ask themselves what are they so afraid of. Do you seriously think they will end up in jail if you don't hit them? Jails are filled up with those who have been hit. Read the studies. The nicest kids I know, including my own, have parents who are respectful towards them, treat them with dignity and at the same are in charge.
If spanking was so wonderful and worked then parents would only have to do it once and the child would never do another wrong thing. If you have had to do it more than once in your child's childhood, ask yourself whether you might want to try something else.
Another thing is that parents who spank have to ask themselves what are they so afraid of. Do you seriously think they will end up in jail if you don't hit them? Jails are filled up with those who have been hit. Read the studies. The nicest kids I know, including my own, have parents who are respectful towards them, treat them with dignity and at the same are in charge.
If time-outs work so well, then wouldn't parents only have to do it once and the kid would learn their lesson? Really I could subsitute spanking in your first sentence for any discipline method and you'd still have the same outcome: it's short term!
If time-outs work so well, then wouldn't parents only have to do it once and the kid would learn their lesson? Really I could subsitute spanking in your first sentence for any discipline method and you'd still have the same outcome: it's short term!
I think what someone is trying to state is if you have to reinforce something very frequently then you're falling behind. It makes sense..... it doesn't take too long for a sane human to understand what is right/wrong. If it goes all the way through the early teen years and they still haven't learn then something is wrong and thus you simple lost the battle long ago.
Too much usage to something can be the ultimate downfall to anything.
Last edited by Sunflower_lol; 05-27-2010 at 11:00 AM..
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