The Most Importqnt Day in your Parenting Life. (attorney, teenage, pills)

[jtur88]

Tell us the story of the day that sticks in your mind as the most important day in your life as a parent.

Here's mine:

When I first met the mother of my darling step-daughter, the 8-year-old hated me and did every mean and nasty thing she could think of break up me and her mom. One of those days, mom agreed to watch a neighbor's girl, too, but got called into work and asked me to take over.

I told the girls to go in the kitchen and pack what they wanted for snacks, we're going to the park. I picked up a book, threw the girls in the car, and away we went. At the park, I said "Here are the rules. Don't go where I can't see you. Scat." They started testing the rule. They went in the woods, far enough that I could just tell it was them by the color of their clothes. They laid down in the river, taking turns keeping their head up where I could see it over the bank. I never said a word---just nodded and waved if I caought their eye. At 5 oclock, I called them to go home. They looked like roadkill.

From that day to this, DSD (now 30) and I have been best friends forever, and she never again disobeyed any of my rules. Some were stricter than that, by the way.

[Jane72]

I can't pinpoint any particular day as "most important".
It seems like my raising of my son has been a series of missed opportunities.
I was too young. He's always been too close in age to me. By the time I knew how to be a good mother to a 5-year-old, he was ten. By the time I figured out how to effectively parent a ten-year-old, he was grown up.
It's a hell of a thing. So many mistakes.

[NC~Mom]

The day I finally walked into an attorney's office and had papers drawn up to have my abusive husband removed from my home. That's the day our life started...my girls were 3 and 6.

[Hopes]

One important day is difficult to pick.

It all surrounds the early teen years when those hormones were raging.

I could pick the day he was sitting on his bed, hysterical with crying and throwing things because he was trying to fit in with people who were unaccepting of him. I went over and threw my arms around him and held him the entire time he cried. It was quite a task considering he was much bigger than me, but my instinct was to hold him until he was calm.

BUT I have to pick another day. A terrible day. One year later.

He had gotten into the wrong crowd and started experimenting with drugs. I tried everything. In my state, children over the age of 14 can refuse medical and counseling treatment of any kind. He was refusing counseling. He was refusing treatment.

With my heart filled with love, sorrow and terror, I went to court to obtain a court order to have him committed for inpatient treatment. It was the most terrifying, difficult decision I had ever made as a parent. I went to court against the advice of everyone I knew---friends, family, even doctors thought it was the wrong thing to do. I was afraid I was ruining his future by making a permanent record, but my gut told me that he had no future if I didn't do it.

The court granted me a trial and provided me with papers to serve on him. He had the right to notice of a trial and the right to a defense---meaning this action was pitting us against each other with his own lawyer. I was terrified of notifying him two weeks ahead of the trial---fearing he would run away.

I sat him down, handed him the papers, and explained to him what I had done and what would happen next---that he would appear in court, had a right to an attorney (actually it's dictated, he didn't have a right to not have an attorney since he was a minor). He was shocked. He couldn't believe I had done this to him. And most importantly, he realized I was dead serious.

It was THE turning point. He begged me to drop the court proceedings. He promised me that he would do whatever I wanted him to do. I BELIEVED HIM. I dropped the court proceedings. He immediately stopped associating with the wrong people. He went into normal counseling. It was an INSTANT positive change. My instincts were right to believe him. If I had continued with the court proceedings, it might have permanently pushed him down the wrong path forever.

Fast forward: he has just finished his first year of college with a 3.8 GPA.

I thank God I had the courage to go to court. I thank God I had the courage to BELIEVE him.

THAT DAY WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY.

(And it still brings tears to my eyes to think about it to this day.)

[Brooklyn_QueenBee]

I had plenty of important days. But recently, my dd mad at me and rules decided she was going to swallow pills. This was not her first time doing so, but all the others she was seen and released. I gave her the choice of getting in the car or going by police force. She rode with me. The hospital went through all the usual stuff and monitored her for several hours before sending her off to the mental hospital. The doctors asked her all the pertinent questions and wanted to release her. I suggested that they keep her. She was kept for 8 days and I believe this changed her. I don't think she will try this again, this was not an atmosphere she welcomed or the outcome she predicted

At times, the decisions we make as parents are for the best interest. For me this was one of times. I felt bad, but had to stand by my choice. I see a difference in her since that experience, she expresses a desire to live and stated she did it only to hurt me.

[wyoquilter]

To me every day is an important day in any parents life, as every day we do things that build a foundation that our children structure their future on. Every hug we give them, every smile we give them, every bit of praise and kind words we give them and even every kind of discipline makes an impact on who they will become.

But if I had to pick only one important day, I'd have to say that day would be when my child is able to leave the nest a strong, confident, responsible, and caring adult ready to start the next chapter in their life full of hopes, dreams and aspirations.

[charz]

The day I did the Heimlich maneuver on my 18 month old daughter when she was choking. I had been an American Red Cross CPR/First Aid instructor for 10 years and knew what to do. When my husband admitted that he would not have known what to do if he had been alone in the house, I cried and thanked God that I had been home. Of course, I immediately taught him CPR and the Heimlich maneuver.

[Jackyfrost01]

Originally Posted by Jane72

I can't pinpoint any particular day as "most important".
It seems like my raising of my son has been a series of missed opportunities.
I was too young. He's always been too close in age to me. By the time I knew how to be a good mother to a 5-year-old, he was ten. By the time I figured out how to effectively parent a ten-year-old, he was grown up.
It's a hell of a thing. So many mistakes.

I was gonna say thier birth, but I like what you said, as well.

I find by the time I'm starting to get it, they've already moved past that point. EX: knowing how I could have dealt with certain situations better based on what I know NOW. But thats everyone isn't?

[wyoquilter]

Originally Posted by Jackyfrost01

I was gonna say thier birth, but I like what you said, as well.

I find by the time I'm starting to get it, they've already moved past that point. EX: knowing how I could have dealt with certain situations better based on what I know NOW. But thats everyone isn't?

Hindsight is 20-20.

[dsh1127]

Wow, there are some really intense moments mentioned here. It gives me goose bumps to think about it.

I must say I have had no major moments, just little things along the way. But, my kids are only 10&12, I still have the teenage years to go through. I guess I just can hope that my experience as a kid (I was hell on wheels) and the fact that I have always tried to make sure my kids knew that they could talk to me about anything will help all of us through those times.