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There is nothing wrong with the decision of not having children.
I myself don't want children either.
I enjoy sleeping in, relaxing, my free time ect........ You cant sleep in and do what you want when you have kids ect.........
Some people want kids and some people don't it's as simple as that. There's no right or wrong either way.The choice is entirely up to you and your husband.
I have simply said, "Don't wanna, never wanted. For myself, I've never seen anything remotely appealing about being a parent."
I think "being a parent" is a more objective phrase or idea than "having kids" or "having a baby." What the parent-to-be is embarking on is becoming a parent, living the life of a parent. It's totally different from living life without being a parent. It's a huge lifestyle choice, and has been a given for zillions of years. So it isn't really about whether people "like kids" or "want to hold babies or not," but do you want to live the life of a parent, with the more-known downsides and more subjective, personal pluses. Certainly many people say they didn't particularly "like kids" but deeply love their kids- a mysterious process.
Thank you for letting me post here.
Having or not having children is a very personal choice. Don't let anyone else make it for you. I realized many years ago that I did not want to be a parent and I've been thankful every day that I didn't. I don't hate kids or anything like that, I just don't want any.
A note regarding non-childed people who refer to parents as breeders - these are people who have nothing better to do than complain. They're also a pack of hypocrites but that's another story. Try to ignore them and eventually they'll go away.
This discussion reminds me of my best friend. She has never wanted children--knew that early on, even though she is great with kids (especially mine!). And then at 30 she had emergency surgery and now she can never have kids. She hated the nurses who all looked at her with pity and kept giving her condolences!
However, the baby thing is such a hormonal thing, so that she did end up feeling a little remorse at the situation. Even though she has never wanted children, she felt a little sad at losing her ability to continue to have that choice.
Before this forum I had zero issues with people who choose not to have children. But after being called a breeder so many times I am now thinking about childfree-by-choice people as equal to racists.
[quote=suzie02;9599924]Before this forum I had zero issues with people who choose not to have children. But after being called a breeder so many times I am now thinking about childfree-by-choice people as equal to racists.[/quote]
Having never referred to those with children as breeders but very much childfree by choice, am I considered a racist by you or is it only ones that use that word? Not trying to be snarky but trying to find out if you feel this way about everyone that has no children.
I just want to get some positives and negatives about having or not having kids. We have no desire to have kids and both have never dreamed about having kids, but our families are pressuring us...like it's the thing to do. Don't take me wrong, I'm actually good with kids. My husband and I like to sleep in on our days off, enjoy not being stressed about money with our double incomes, spend time going to church and just hanging out together, love our dogs and spend a lot of time with the two of them. We don't feel as if we are missing something, but deep inside it feels creepy thinking of lying in a hospital bed at age 75 with no one visiting. If we had kids, we would have to go to one income and have to watch every penny because we could no longer afford the lifestyle we have now. We would have an emergency fund, but would not have a lot left over at the end of the month for saving. My sister has been married with kids and she is a stay at home mom. They only have $5,000 in an emergency fund and she has no retirement. Her husband only has the retirement he has through work. They are in their late 30's. That scares me, it doesn't sound like enough. There must be some great joys and benefits from having children that outweigh watching every penny and having a great retirement account...right?
No one can make that decision for you...however, you don't seem comfortable with the "no children" decision. If you were, there wouldn't be this thread!
I will just say to you that no amount of money, no career, nothing, touches the joy my children bring to me. Nothing. Period. My true happiness, peace, joy and contentment come from being a mother. Money and a career are great but mean nothing to me without my kids.
Somehow, my family makes it on a limited budget. We make the best of what we have and live modestly. We are happy with that. We have more debt than we probably should. Oh well!
Having never referred to those with children as breeders but very much childfree by choice, am I considered a racist by you or is it only ones that use that word? Not trying to be snarky but trying to find out if you feel this way about everyone that has no children.
First of all I said "equal to racist" not racist. Second my own sister doesn't want children and I have no issues with that. I have an issue with the insults and the attitude of superiority some people have.
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