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I just want to get some positives and negatives about having or not having kids. We have no desire to have kids and both have never dreamed about having kids, but our families are pressuring us...like it's the thing to do. Don't take me wrong, I'm actually good with kids. My husband and I like to sleep in on our days off, enjoy not being stressed about money with our double incomes, spend time going to church and just hanging out together, love our dogs and spend a lot of time with the two of them. We don't feel as if we are missing something, but deep inside it feels creepy thinking of lying in a hospital bed at age 75 with no one visiting. If we had kids, we would have to go to one income and have to watch every penny because we could no longer afford the lifestyle we have now. We would have an emergency fund, but would not have a lot left over at the end of the month for saving. My sister has been married with kids and she is a stay at home mom. They only have $5,000 in an emergency fund and she has no retirement. Her husband only has the retirement he has through work. They are in their late 30's. That scares me, it doesn't sound like enough. There must be some great joys and benefits from having children that outweigh watching every penny and having a great retirement account...right?
Yes I agree with them..... Don't let other infulence such a personal decision.,even parents About being alone in a hospital bead at 75...(if we are lucky enough to live that long)... I am betting your nieces and nephews will stick around You are lucky enough that you are in a marraige with soem one who understands you and enjoys your company
No it's not wrong to decide to not have kids. Most if not all would agree on here.
It sounds like you feel like you MIGHT be missing out or are afraid you would feel that way later. If that is the case why not look into becoming a foster parent at some point later? That way you you can mentor and provide a loving home for a child who needs it TEMPORARILY.
sounds like you and your hubby already know you don't want kids and it is just family pressure. your family would not be the ones to be responsible for the child you had. you guys would be. they would get the fun parts and the rest is on you. if it isn't your lifestyle you have nothing to be sorry for. you shouldn't have kids cuz you want someone holding your hand on your deathbed. you can have children if and when YOU want them, adoption is also always an option. tell your folks you are keeping an open mind and play it by ear. have a child when you want one and not before
I dont think it would be fair to the kid(s) that you have if you have them because of pressure. Your family is trying to be well intention by saying children will fullfill you but thats not the case for everyone it already sounds like you and your husband know exactly what ya want out of life together enjoy it
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Its hard to give up freedom and independence when you don't know what's on the other side of the "family curtain". No amount of discussion or even money is going to prepare you for kids. Everyone gets hit just as hard by the baby train.
Marriage without kids is a great time. Its just like having a girlfriend or boyfriend whom you have already said "forever" to. Its no big deal if you want to go out on a Wednesday until 2:00 AM. Your husband wants to go hunting in Brazil for 10 days? No problem. If you decide to spend all of your money on a boat, that's really not a big deal either. Independence and self-interest is a lot of fun.
Funny thing is, you have no idea what "forever" means until you meet your baby. Life gets pretty real pretty quickly. Everything changes in an instant and it will never be like it was. You do have to stack pennies and you do have to take precautions and you can't do everything that you want to do anymore. There are times that it is extremely frustrating and there will be fights with your spouse that were never there before. Tired people fight and parents are tired. Nothing is simple anymore. Sounds terrible, right? Not so fast...
When I met my first child I suddenly knew what had always been missing from my life. I had an academic understanding that the bond between parent and child was very strong, but the reality is incomprehensible to an un-parent and when (or maybe if) you feel it you will know what I'm talking about. That love becomes the driving force in your life. It feels like my child was always there, I can't really put myself back into a place when he wasn't (if that makes any sense).
Becoming a parent is far too large of a commitment to make any decisions based on anything other than what you want for yourself. If you're being pressured by family, they can take a pill. If you think you are ready, you're not. If you don't think you're ready, you're right. Either way, it has to be your decision.
We don't feel as if we are missing something, but deep inside it feels creepy thinking of lying in a hospital bed at age 75 with no one visiting.
You could have a bunch of kids and still have no one visiting you in a hospital bed. Go to any nursing home and ask the residents how often their kids visit. My mom was in one and it was heartbreaking how many kids ignored their parents.
It is a personal decision. My husband and I have been married close to 20 years and do not have kids. It is something we NEVER regret. Other people may not be happy with no children. It does sound like your mind is made up so go with what YOU want (and your husband of course).
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About being alone in a hospital bead at 75...(if we are lucky enough to live that long)... I am betting your nieces and nephews will stick around 
