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I hope that your parents can come to terms with your moving and ease your mind. I can tell that you are very concerned for them but you want to move forward with your life. You should not feel bad about moving. People do it all the time. I hope that your parents have friends and other family around that can help them through the transition. I'm sure that they will miss you dearly and you will feel the same. I had to relocate from my parents due to my husband's job and although they were sad that we would not be close my dad said "well now we have some place new to visit. My husband's parents are far away too and he dad has alzheimers and his mom is having a hard time trying to do it all alone. She is however considering moving where we are so they can be nearby. I am a mother of two young sons and I do understand the bond between mother's and sons but I also realize that I will not always be the leading lady in their lives and I want my sons to grow up and find love and marry, have children and lead their own lives. I did it and they should be able to do the same. I hope that your mother and wife will be able to build a postitive relationship over time. Sounds like it will not be easy, but if you work at it with them hopefully things will improve. You are the key. I am speaking from experience with my mother-in law. Had my husband not set some boundaries with her concerning me things could have been extremely difficult. After 15 years of marriage, my relationship with my mother-in -law has improved and she is always willing to lend a helping hand to us all. Although she can still have her moments. But so can I. Good Luck on your move and marriage.
Just keep in mind your Mom is your Mom forever. And 50% of marriages end in divorce. I'm not saying you have to side with your Mom or should have stayed in NY. But you really don't know that your wife will still be your wife in 5 years. I would make it a priority to spend time with your parents...before you have kids and it's harder to get away. Fly up and see them for a long weekend or invite them down to stay for a week.
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