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I agree, things change real quick. If the older one continues to act out, mom might very well send her packing. She might get out there and realize that she is overwhelmed.
I noticed Australia has a few Father's Rights Organizations. You might want to check into those.
Wow that is sad as well as scary. It sounds like you were doing great in raising these children and it is unnerving to think the judge would take them from you for the reasons he did. So what that she has 2 new children now. It is scary how much power these judges have. They make and break lives everyday. As much as it is hard to think of contact them while they live with their mother, please try to. These children are going through enough, if you do not contact them they will really feel abandoned. How old are they? Usually if they are over 14 the judge seriously considers what THEY want.
I agree, things change real quick. If the older one continues to act out, mom might very well send her packing. She might get out there and realize that she is overwhelmed.
I noticed Australia has a few Father's Rights Organizations. You might want to check into those.
Are there laws that let a child that has reached a certain age decide which parent? And just visitation might not be what you're used to, but you should take all of it you can have.
If the mother has 2 more kids and isn't used to having the older ones around, she may change her mind when the kids actually have to start living there.
Any chance you can relocate? If there was any way you could I think it would be worth the sacrifice.
That's what I was going to say.
That judge sounds like an ass. Is there anyone you can appeal to? I wouldn't ask the child if she still wants you to fight -- of COURSE she does! Do not let her go through life thinking you gave up on her! And if you don't fight, she'll always blame herself! You can't put that kind of burden on a child.
If you can't get some kind of stay until an appeal can be heard, is there a "Child Protective Services" type organization where they'll be moving? Call and give them the heads up that there is an abusive boyfriend in the home and have them watched like a hawk.
And if none of that works, move. You have to show those children that they are your priority, not your house, not your car, not any "things" that might have you currently tethered. Start looking for a job and a place to rent.
We find out if we have legal grounds for appeal tomorrow. We were in court last Friday asking for a stay.
BM avoided service of the documents and didn't come to court.
DH had express posted her the documents when she wouldn't open the door to the process server - so she knew about the hearing and what it was for.
She rang DH on the Friday afternoon to ask what happened in court... the judge said he couldn't grant a stay because we had not yet lodged an appeal.
BM said she was moving that night anyway, she knows the judgement is wrong and knows it's harder for us to win an appeal if she has already gone.
Previously she said she was going to wait until school holidays - another whole week from now... so she may have trumped us. Again.
We can't relocate, we have our whole lives here. Our businesses - but believe me, we've thought about it.
Another issue is the fact that the BM would just move again, in fact, the house she bought 300 kms away (that she has just moved to) is up for sale. It has been up for sale for at least 4 months.
She did not take it off the market when she won, it is still for sale.
I think she intends to move even farther away in the near future.
TumbleBug, hang in and hang on. One thing I've learned is children are not ours...not even for a day.
They are on loan to us...by the Lord, by parents, by friends....whatever the relationship may be.
You've gone above and beyond the call of duty and thank goodness you were there during the most critical developing years.
Consider yourself an empty nester.... since the reality isn't going to change....I suggest you change your outlook. And it's not gonna be easy!
Thanks for your post as I advise all women to really think long and hard before getting involved with a man who has children....like they should before getting involved with a woman with kids. You have to know all the ends and outs and then take the risk. You chose this road, and this is what happens. Just love your husband. And just love those kids.
Thank you for this post - it really speaks to me. If you know what I mean?
Yes, it's so very important to advise everyone to think carefully before getting involved with anyone with children still at home.
Perhaps it is of equal importance to advise people to be VERY careful who they choose to have children with.
you guys are still a family! love is the most powerful thing you can have!!
do you and the kids have a webcam? maybe y'all can come online and see each other and talk to one another? it really makes the distance seem not so far when you can look into each others eyes.
i'm so sorry this happened to you. but it isn't the end of the world! you have love!
Tumblebug I'm sorry this all happened to you and your husband.
I am going through a situation similar to yours only I am the birth mother. The difference in my situation is my husband got married and wants to take my child and move away across the country.
I think you are a shining example of what step parent should be. If my daughter's stepmother cared for her like you do your husband's children, I wouldnt be so scared every time I send her to her fathers. You care about the kids and not the drama in the middle. And I feel like you honestly genuinely love the children. In my situation my daughters step mother wants custody so that she can get rid of me.
I wish I had the perfect advice...but remember that those children know how much you love them. I really hope that things work in your favor and the children get to come home soon.
I understand what you're saying haggardhouseelf - but I don't feel comfortable contacting the kids while they're with their mum.
You really need to keep contacting them when they are with their mother. They need you and your relationship with them is important. Is there any way to get them cell phones that they can use to contact you without having to go through their mother?
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