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A former neighbor's son - just graduated high school last year - could be described as the classic "lump". He didn't go on to college (parents urged, cajoled, bribed, but no go) and does not have a job (made some half-hearted attempts to find one). He sits at home all day playing computer games and eating.
He always had tendencies for being unmotivated, but in earlier years his parents could easily get him out doing things and succeeding. Now they feel helpless.
The asked me about Outward Bound, but I have no info nor knowledge if such a "drastic" experience would help or hurt. Anyone know?
If you mean the Hurricane Island Outward Bound that used to be based in midcoast Maine...it has always seemed like a great experience...nothing harsh. They would run off the dock at 6:00 am and jump into the ocean .
They also sailed, camped (I believe alone for one night on an island ) There are others, too (Colorado, for one)
Honestly, it sounds like he's depressed. Outward Bound isn't one of those "reform" camps. I've had several acquaintances go through similar programs geared toward "troubled teens" but I've always seen Outward Bound as sort of an extreme summer camp. Am I wrong?
I would suggest to your friend to take their son to a psychiatrist. It might just be laziness but better safe than sorry.
Honestly, it sounds like he's depressed. Outward Bound isn't one of those "reform" camps. I've had several acquaintances go through similar programs geared toward "troubled teens" but I've always seen Outward Bound as sort of an extreme summer camp. Am I wrong?
I would suggest to your friend to take their son to a psychiatrist. It might just be laziness but better safe than sorry.
I agree, and I've been sorting through the dictionary in my head to find the right words to suggest a psychiatrist/psychologist. If an "extreme" camp was warranted, I'm sure such a professional could suggest something. I couldn't think of any alternative to Outward Bound. Anyone heard of any kind of intensive/extreme overnight place/camp where he could be away from home (part of the problem) and get some help? I know there are such places for drug and alcohol addicted, but what about a place to build self-esteem? (My amateur diagnosis is that he's always lived in the shadow of his brother and never had the chance to bloom and be recognized.)
I did Outward Bound in the Rockies when I was a teen (it's in a lot of places, not just Hurricane Island!). 23 days of backpacking and climbing. It was an amazing experience which I've never forgotten.
I think they do actually run a few programs for troubled teens, although my impression is that it was for teens in trouble with law more than just lazy....those programs are obviously run differently than your regular Outward Bound which is a really extreme camping trip of sorts!
If he really doesn't have any issues other than lack of motivation, I think Outward Bound might actually do him some good. It's really hard, yes, but the bigger point is that you learn that you can do so much more than you thought you could. You come out feeling really motivated (my experience) and like you can overcome the barriers you thought you had. It also opens up a whole new world of people you go through this with.
Anyway....if he's got bigger issues than laziness, then maybe this isn't for him. But if he just needs a jump-start to get moving, it might be worth trying. The worst that will happen is that he'd come back in really good shape! I'd personally have him do a Colorado Rocky course, or a Canadian Rocky course or something like that. The mountaineering courses are the hardest and given the goal here, I wouldn't set him off on anything which is even mildy "cushy."
I know there are such places for drug and alcohol addicted, but what about a place to build self-esteem? (My amateur diagnosis is that he's always lived in the shadow of his brother and never had the chance to bloom and be recognized.)
OK< I just posted and then re-read this. Reading this, I think Outward Bound could be a GREAT place for him. If he can do a 3-4 week program in the Rockies, I think he would come home a different person.
Others' lives literally depend on you when you're there (you are belaying them down a mountain or leading them through a dangerous crevass (sp?). People in my group truly came back feeling so much stronger and more capable and realized we usually limit ourselves before our abilities do.
I'll tell you this too (I wouldn't tell him though!) There was not a single person in our group who did not cry in front of everyone by the end of the trip. And the guys all cried FIRST which I must say surprised me, but all the macho stuff goes out the door in truly extreme situations.
I did Outward Bound in the Rockies when I was a teen (it's in a lot of places, not just Hurricane Island!). 23 days of backpacking and climbing. It was an amazing experience which I've never forgotten.
I think they do actually run a few programs for troubled teens, although my impression is that it was for teens in trouble with law more than just lazy....those programs are obviously run differently than your regular Outward Bound which is a really extreme camping trip of sorts!
If he really doesn't have any issues other than lack of motivation, I think Outward Bound might actually do him some good. It's really hard, yes, but the bigger point is that you learn that you can do so much more than you thought you could. You come out feeling really motivated (my experience) and like you can overcome the barriers you thought you had. It also opens up a whole new world of people you go through this with.
Anyway....if he's got bigger issues than laziness, then maybe this isn't for him. But if he just needs a jump-start to get moving, it might be worth trying. The worst that will happen is that he'd come back in really good shape! I'd personally have him do a Colorado Rocky course, or a Canadian Rocky course or something like that. The mountaineering courses are the hardest and given the goal here, I wouldn't set him off on anything which is even mildy "cushy."
I guess you didn't read my whole post...as I mentioned Colorado
While, I PERSONALY, have nothing against ANY outward bound program....I would start my own.........You have 1 month to find a J.O.B. or you are OUTward bound.
Our friend's daughter went through outward bound. My understanding is that its purpose is to build self esteem. It did not do much for her, but she is really messed up.
If he is to have any future, he needs to go to college or get some sort of technical certificate for a trade. His parents need to light a fire under him, and give him an ultimatum, not a camp. College, trade certificate, apprenticeship or a full time job.
Personally I would spend my $$ on getting him career counseling.
But that's my 2 cents.
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) There are others, too (Colorado, for one)
I'd personally have him do a Colorado Rocky course, or a Canadian Rocky course or something like that. The mountaineering courses are the hardest and given the goal here, I wouldn't set him off on anything which is even mildy "cushy."
