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I can't stand scary movies. It's not because I'm scared.....it's because I find them idiotic and unnecessarily gross. I don't believe in ghosts...and I think people who do have something fundamentally wrong with them. I also dissapprove of our kids watching them for obvious reasons.
So our 12 year old daughter had a couple of friends over that were a grade ahead of her a few months ago. Her room is in the basement. One of the girls brought a DVD: Paranormal Activity. I did no realize said friend brough said movie or I would never have allowed it.
They watched it. The two older girls go about their lives the next day. Our daughter however cannot sleep in her own room. She sleeps in her sister's room....who is in Kindergarten....every single night. Did I mention this was A FEW MONTHS AGO?
Prior to this we had a rule that everyone sleeps in their own beds. And we tried the 'get tough' approach to attempting to make her sleep in her own bed. That resulted in what appeared to be some sort of mental breakdown because she was that scared of going to the basement by herself.
She has another friend who's mom seems to have some sort of issue that I can't quite nail down. She was a big help. She told her that whatever room you watch that movie in opens up a portal in the TV that ghosts can come through. My wife called her and had words. Why the hell would you tell a kid something like that. Especially since you know she can't even sleep in her own room?
Another thing that ticks me off is that her room downstairs is newly built by me personally which I spent thousands on and shead blood, sweat and tears over? This was all so she could have her own space since she's growing up and going to be a teen soon and all. Aside from this episode she seems to have her head screwed on right. Makes good grades and seems down to earth.
What are we supposed to do with her now? Should we get bunk beds in the 5 yr old's room and rent out her room in the basement? <sigh> I'm just mentally spent on this issue.
Aw, man!
Have you viewed the film? I just wiki'd it and you do realize the tag line is:
I would take the TV out of her room for a few years if she doesn't get back into sleeping in her own room....
remind her that in the film the female character that is being "haunted" by the "demon" feeds off of "negative energy"....If she is only a happy camper down there, without the TV, then maybe that'll help?
Do NOT do the bunk beds, just leave it as is, as long as your kindergarten age kid is okay with it, she'll get over it in her own time....
Last edited by bellalunatic; 04-02-2010 at 12:58 PM..
The only thing that concerns me is that this is something that could go on for years....we're already at 3 months. That's a long time to be flipped out about an obviously fake and cheap movie (to me anyway). I don't want to play the part of an enabler but if it drags out much longer we may start talking about bunk beds in the 6 yr old's room.
It is possible it could go on for years. I know many people who still won't go in the ocean and refuse to take showers. That still doesn't mean it's not real to them.
However, it's important to not put a constraint on her feelings because you feel differently. If the fears are real, they won't be assuaged by being told the reasons are fake. It just doesn't work that way.
If you can take a step back and away regarding how you feel about the whole issue and approach it more from her perspective, it might help you understand how best to help her either move past it or learn to live with it.
Simply wanting it to be done with will only continue to frustrate you and certainly won't be helpful to her.
Perhaps she will soon be able to rationalize it like we as adults do, however until then she needs help in finding ways to cope with it. Sleeping with her sibling seems to be a good choice for her. Maybe you can add another layer of comfort by trying what was suggested to help her to understand how the movie was made. Or maybe you can make the basement the family great room, kids playroom, kids bedroom or even the master bedroom.
Sometimes it is just that simple accommodation of room changes that makes the difference. After all you were trying to accommodate her by giving her that room in the first place, so taking it back may be what's needed now.
My father died when I was 16 and my mom soon was unhappy in the master bedroom. Moving was out of the question at that time and my younger sister put up a howl about sleeping in there too. So I switched rooms with my mom as I didn't have the same kind of connection with the room. It was a very small thing to me, but a HUGE thing to my mom and sister.
If you can find that small thing to you but that is huge to her, you've made a step forward.
I really like that idea of seeing how the movie is made, spoofs of it etc...
I saw The Mothman Prophecies shortly after it came out and while I went into the move already nervous about driving over bridges (and it did not change that), I came out with a fear of looking out my window at night (expecting those red eyes). I was at least 30 when I saw it.
It took hearing other people make fun of the movie to help me shake it.
I also think that perhaps the age she is is prime for that kind of stuff. I remember as a pre-teen playing with ouija boards and being convinced friends' farmhouses were haunted, hanging on stories of unsettled souls roaming the land, and that kind of thing.
dr jones..you did not make your duty properly and now you suffer the consequencies...it is your duty to cheque on your daughter every time!!EVERY!!!do you get it????not from time to time..every movie they look at in this age NEEDS MY APROVAL!!!i am a mother of 13 ...this is the rule and teh rule must be respected!!if i am not there to aprove it,then they have to wait on me..period..they do not take this decisions for themselves..i totally condamne american parents,who do not take care properly,what their kids are allowed to watch or not..for example avatar..they brought at cinema liitle chidlren...unbelievable...in europe we are very stricte about it...some of the little kids awere squarred to death..are you kidding me???expose children to such images in this age??selfish parents,they wanted to watch the movie and did not care,that their chidlren were exposed ...
is not about the money you invested and so on....it is about you neglected your job..now you have to be pacient,give your daughter teh time that she needs to go over it..we see once again confirmed how movies can effect children...what big effects they can have..i do not blame your child for a moment,she has no blame,you have and you better be pacient for your mistake...give her time...maybe bring her back to her room,sleep near on a matress..when she falls asleep,go back to your bedroom...is is your mistake,you need to fix it ...not complain,work on it and learn the right lesson...set boundaries,make rules (no dvd withouht me chequing on it...no compromisse on that!!none)...this is your job...some parenst i would fire..honestly..then wonder,oh my god,i put sooo much money.....oh my god...this is not your worry right now!!!!!!!!!!!!...become a better parent,act properly,make the right rules..you failed in this one...like it or not!!
Thank you for that.
Yes I realize it is my duty to approve/disapprove movies. Had I known they were planning to watch this movie I would have confiscated it. We have-up until now-censored everything (that we're aware of). We preview every movie PG-13 and above and make the decision on whether or not it is appropriate.
As I said before, one of the other girls brought this movie with her. Do I have to pat her friends down at the door and toss their bags for contraban? I'm sure their parent's would approve.
Yes I realize it is my duty to approve/disapprove movies. Had I known they were planning to watch this movie I would have confiscated it. We have-up until now-censored everything (that we're aware of). We preview every movie PG-13 and above and make the decision on whether or not it is appropriate.
As I said before, one of the other girls brought this movie with her. Do I have to pat her friends down at the door and toss their bags for contraban? I'm sure their parent's would approve.
Yes, that poster is always good for helping you feel like your being judged over and over and over again....must be nice to be so perfect, never make mistakes and never have anyone rub it in your face online, huh?
OK, so lesson learned, no TV's in bedroom, (except for the parents room)
Seriously, rockinmamma has got a great point, does the 5 year old want the big room? (without the TV of course)
Getting bunk beds only helps to validate your 12 year old's over reactive response to a fictional film, I think.
If you're talking film lame, well, I'll bet it is,(i've never seen it) but if you watch it, then maybe you can talk to her about the lame parts of it, that might help. That's all I'm saying.
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She told her that whatever room you watch that movie in opens up a portal in the TV that ghosts can come through. My wife called her and had words. Why the hell would you tell a kid something like that. Especially since you know she can't even sleep in her own room? 
