News Study: Spanking shows teens better off.... (punishment, out of control, parents)
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I know I posted this inside another post but it may have gotten lost in the shuffle. I just wanted to make sure we have both sides of the story clearly visible on the main page.
An intelligent adult should be smart enough to figure out a way to discipline without resorting to violence.
It is very possible to raise happy, well-adjusted kids without ever laying a finger on them.
An intelligent adult should be smart enough to figure out a way to discipline without resorting to violence.
It is very possible to raise happy, well-adjusted kids without ever laying a finger on them.
Obviously you didn't even read the article because you have no thought on it. This is a typical post from someone who just believes there way is the only way no matter what evidence you throw in their face.
I am open to being wrong here. I just hate people that give stupid arguements like this. If you want to disagree thats fine but at least have some substance to your arguement.
Well, it was an interesting read. The problem with articles like this is the confounding factors that are present in any study of this sort. The gentle discpline types are lumped in with foster care kids, kids whose parents are wholly absent in their lives etc. You just can't flesh out every detail for confounding factors in these kids' lives. It also seemed to talk about inconsistent discipline quite a bit. I will agree with him there - that can be very detrimental to the child's well being. Clearly stated rules and ways of behaving are always needed and should be enforced consistently. The child should be able to know what the consequences are every time. I think it goes without saying that when the father is a weak figure, or the parents can't agree on consequences - this sets the child up for difficulties throughout childhood and adolecents.
I happen to be a parent who does not believe in corporal punishment for my own children. It doesn't belong in our family, and my children are far too sensitive to do something like this to them. They are both very sweet and typically people-pleasers. I've never felt that they were so out of control that I couldn't handle it another way. However, DH and I are very traditional, other than that. We are both college educated, hold professional jobs, got married and then started a family, ect. We expect a lot of of our kids, and we do not let them rule the roost. It can be achieved in our family without spanking.
This also caught my eye: "In other words, spanking regularly isn’t the problem; the problem is having no regular form of discipline at all."
I agree. However, in the author's own admission, it is difficult to compare children who are spanked vs. not because other contributing factors like family dynamic cannot be accounted for in these studies.
"I admit to taking a leap here, but if the progressive parents are the ones who never spank (or at least there’s a large overlap), then perhaps the consistency of discipline is more important than the form of discipline. In other words, spanking regularly isn’t the problem; the problem is having no regular form of discipline at all."
I do believe that this paragraph distills the issues pretty well. I don't spank kids. I feel that there is almost always a better way. However, lack of spanking does not equal lack of discipline. Parents who chose not to hit their children do need a plan as to HOW to achieve discipline. Without a plan for non violent discipline kids do wind up without any discipline and that can be quite a big problem when they get older.
Well, it was an interesting read. The problem with articles like this is the confounding factors that are present in any study of this sort. The gentle discpline types are lumped in with foster care kids, kids whose parents are wholly absent in their lives etc. You just can't flesh out every detail for confounding factors in these kids' lives.
Agree
Quote:
It also seemed to talk about inconsistent discipline quite a bit. I will agree with him there - that can be very detrimental to the child's well being. Clearly stated rules and ways of behaving are always needed and should be enforced consistently. The child should be able to know what the consequences are every time.
Agree. Kids like clear boundaries. In general they like to please and to do the right thing
Quote:
I think it goes without saying that when the father is a weak figure, or the parents can't agree on consequences - this sets the child up for difficulties throughout childhood and adolecents.
Agree again. Parents need to agree. I think these days that fathers often become passive. Parents to me seem disempowered and feeling like no matter what they do the social workers will come dowen on them
Quote:
I happen to be a parent who does not believe in corporal punishment for my own children. It doesn't belong in our family, and my children are far too sensitive to do something like this to them. They are both very sweet and typically people-pleasers. I've never felt that they were so out of control that I couldn't handle it another way. However, DH and I are very traditional, other than that. We are both college educated, hold professional jobs, got married and then started a family, ect. We expect a lot of of our kids, and we do not let them rule the roost. It can be achieved in our family without spanking.
And thats OK. You are not even at an extreeme. In my view the extremes are beating a kid half to death or at the other end, just letting kids do whatever, whenever and simply not caring about them.
Quote:
This also caught my eye: "In other words, spanking regularly isn’t the problem; the problem is having no regular form of discipline at all."
Agree Agree Agree
Quote:
I agree. However, in the author's own admission, it is difficult to compare children who are spanked vs. not because other contributing factors like family dynamic cannot be accounted for in these studies.
To me one problem is that when this spanking debate comes up, the anti spankers bring out examples of kids being punched beaten up and taken to hospital. These are extreme examples but they use these to justify why all corporal punishment is bad.
I am unashamadly in favour of corporal punishment. I am in favour of parents being in authority over kids.
"I admit to taking a leap here, but if the progressive parents are the ones who never spank (or at least there’s a large overlap), then perhaps the consistency of discipline is more important than the form of discipline. In other words, spanking regularly isn’t the problem; the problem is having no regular form of discipline at all."
I do believe that this paragraph distills the issues pretty well. I don't spank kids. I feel that there is almost always a better way. However, lack of spanking does not equal lack of discipline. Parents who chose not to hit their children do need a plan as to HOW to achieve discipline. Without a plan for non violent discipline kids do wind up without any discipline and that can be quite a big problem when they get older.
I think many parents feel disempowered and other just don't think.
I think many parents make a big deal out of something relatively minor.
I think that as a society we have a problem with physical pain. When my kid falls over and scrapes their knee or cuts their finger, I say give it a rub, is it OK, its a part of life etc. I see other parents who seem to want to take the kid to hospital and have three doctors and five nurses to apply a bandaid.
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