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My son is 3 1/2, very smart to the point of already being able to spell about 30 words, and basicly knowing more than more kindergarten students. However, when it comes to basic things like, opening a door, taking off his shoes, learning to dress himself, he has no patience what so ever. The biggest thing of course is that he has no interest what so ever in potty training. He had a mild interest in it when he was around my daughters age (almost 2) but it seemed the more in encouraged him to do it, the more he didn't want to. I'm wondering if he's just simply lazy, or if there's something more I could do to get him to WANT to do it?
If he's that smart, he knows exactly what he's doing. Everything you say he has no interest in are things that he knows that if he doesn't do it, you will for him. If he doesn't want to dress himself, leave him in his pajamas all day and see what happens when you go out to the market or someplace else.
I'd put him in training pants and leave it to him to change himself. But when he's wet, I wouldn't allow him on the furniture, only on a hard wood chair than can be wiped clean.
He won't do anything for himself that he knows you will eventually do for him if he refuses.
I suppose you've tried bribing him with M&Ms? I would combine some kind of bribe with an attitude that I couldn't care in the slightest whether he uses the toilet or not. You don't want to give him more attention for not going than you would if he did. I'd also let him overhear me telling Daddy that "it's too bad little Oswald still doesn't want to act like a big boy", etc.
I had 3 boys and it's not uncommon for them to go past 3 unpottied. It seems like there is a window when they're really young that they are open to potty training. If you miss this window, you are pretty much doomed to wait untill they are darn good and ready.
One other thing that worked for friends of ours whose son was very resistent.. One Saturday morning the Dad told his son "We don't wear diapers anymore, Buddy". No negotiation, end of story.
sounds like my son
he is smart as a whip, and knows exactly what he is doing. at school he goes potty, etc. he does it all on his own, washing his hands and all. then he comes home and gets lazy. tells me he is little not a big boy--which is a big sign for me that he needs to go potty, but wants to just do it in his undies!
I'm wondering I guess what I could do to make him want to do it? And now that my daughter is nearly ready (she constantly takes off her diaper and ends up peeing on the floor), I'm worried it's going to be a battle between the two. Neither wants to really sit on the little potty, so I'll probably end up getting a seat that goes over the big potty. There's already a thing between them where if one has something the other automatically wants it, but I can only sit with one of them on the potty at a time obviously.
you can't make him want to do it. i tried stickers and praise , and all the other stuff. he does it in school cause the other kids are doing it--and it's done in a group etc.
but at home, i really just have to watch and kind of time it out. if i see him sitting quietly in a corner, i know what he is up too and rush him to the bathroom. if a couple of hours goes by and he hasn't gone, i will sit him there even when he says he doesn't need to---he always does. also, i have 2 potties, and he doesn't like using either of them. he wants to sit on the regular toilets.
i think it just needs to become a habit as far as my son goes.
being that there are 2 of them, i would just go every hour and make them take turns, sort of like in school. make it a "project". ok everyone to the potty. they each sit, then they each wash their hands, then "great job"....
sounds like my son
he is smart as a whip, and knows exactly what he is doing. at school he goes potty, etc. he does it all on his own, washing his hands and all. then he comes home and gets lazy. tells me he is little not a big boy--which is a big sign for me that he needs to go potty, but wants to just do it in his undies!
Quote:
Originally Posted by floridadreamer
I'm wondering I guess what I could do to make him want to do it? And now that my daughter is nearly ready (she constantly takes off her diaper and ends up peeing on the floor), I'm worried it's going to be a battle between the two. Neither wants to really sit on the little potty, so I'll probably end up getting a seat that goes over the big potty. There's already a thing between them where if one has something the other automatically wants it, but I can only sit with one of them on the potty at a time obviously.
The key here is expectation. If you expect a child of that age to use the toilet, he/she won't have that particular action to use to manipulate the parent. Don't play games and don't put up with wet pants.
About the younger sister being ready, I would focus on her going on the potty and leaving your son to go because he's supposed to. If he thinks she is doing better than he, he will likely regress, then stop wetting altogether.
When kids find that wetting and diapers are no longer a tool they can use, there is nothing left than to stop wetting. Being that uncomfortable in wet pants or wet diaper isn't worth it if it doesn't get mom or dad to make a big deal out of it. They can't use it for control if they aren't getting results.
My son didnt start until 3 and 1/2 and did it suddenly one day - on a ski trip of all things - he did it in his own, on his own time and since that day - has not wet his bed at night, nor had an accident. It seemed to take forever - but was well worth it. My theory was - at some point prior to Kindergarten this kid has to start using the bathroom and alas! he did. Absent developmental challenges (which you note he does not have) When he is ready he will do it. Dont sweat it.
I know how frustrating it is - my daughter who is older was trained at 2 - but she had occassional accidents and needed pullups until almost 5. Every child is different and if I had to choose which I prefer I would take 31/2 with no extra work!
My son is 3 1/2, very smart to the point of already being able to spell about 30 words, and basicly knowing more than more kindergarten students. However, when it comes to basic things like, opening a door, taking off his shoes, learning to dress himself, he has no patience what so ever. The biggest thing of course is that he has no interest what so ever in potty training. He had a mild interest in it when he was around my daughters age (almost 2) but it seemed the more in encouraged him to do it, the more he didn't want to. I'm wondering if he's just simply lazy, or if there's something more I could do to get him to WANT to do it?
Yep, he's smart enough to realize he is the one in control at home....
I have toddlers & my 4yr old is amazing, beyond amazing at school. His reading level is astounishing.
At home, he thinks he is the ruler of us all. Nope. It needs to be nipped in the bud all the time.
He was a cinch to potty train b/c #1) I didn't start, stop, and bribe for a year and #2) I took control and made it a positively controlled environment.
Started on Fri. Ended on Mon. He wore underpants all weekend. If he got wet, he knew why. I took him meaning I didn't ask, bribe or sing a song, to the bathroom on regular intervals..consistently for 3 days. Of course, he gots hugs and cheers from mommy & daddy, but at the same time, it is something that needs to be done, not a choice.
There wasn't conversation about it. I would not start or get involved in a debate. Here is the toilet. Practice. Over and over.
Started about 3 months prior to his 3rd bday.
Only you know the family dynamic of your home. Take charge and show consistency.
He doesn't want to potty train b/c it takes works and he gets to see all sorts of reactions from you. Only you can change that...
There is no reason he cannot be trained by the time he is 4 unless there is a biological/pysiological issue.
With one of mine, he was 3 and a half and it looked like he wasn't ever going to bother with getting potty trained so one day we put underpants on him and told him he was potty trained now and he had to start using the toilet. Or else. So he did and not a single accident, no bed wetting - it was obvious he was just being lazy and babyish and maybe stubborn.
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