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I just came from volunteering in my son's kindergarten class. I saw one of his classmates mark on another kid's paper. I said "keep your hands to yourself and write your sentence." That was enough to set him off. He broke his pencil in half, slammed his book shut and threw it across the table. I've seen this same boy throw his books and pencils across the room, throw a chair (kid size), and lay under the table. My son said he knocked over the teacher's chair (adult size). There is a school employee who is often in the room, and it seems to be her job to deal with this kid. She and the teacher put their hands on his shoulders, kind of massaging, talked very quietly and sweetly to him, and asked him what was making him upset. They sometimes take him out in the hall to deal with him. I've also seen the same employee I mentioned preemptively calming him before an activity that might not go the way he wants it to. They didn't seem to punish him for acting this way or for breaking the pencil. I think he could be a danger to his classmates. I've been wondering all year what his issue is. It is sad because I would be afraid to invite him over for a playdate. But I have to wonder if giving positive attention when he acts out is helping or hurting.
While he does need to be punished for what he does, it is kind of hard to do so.
I mean, say they punish him and instead of him taking the punishment he takes his broken pencil and stabs in the teachers leg...
Well if you don't know this boy's history then you don't know if he has a legitimate problem/delay.
When I taught pre-k, I had a boy who would knock stuff over, kick, scream when something didn't go his way. If he chose to be line leader as his job and the other children lined up before he got to the front, he would freak out. Even after explaining to him that he is still line leader and the other children backing up so he could get to the front, he just couldn't understand. We had him evaluated, and sure enough he had a mild form of autism. So the only things I could do was to remind him things in advance. If I saw that something was going to upset him or he was starting to get upset I had to step in immediately to explain to him what was happening. Although, he did go in time out when it was necessary. He didn't have carte blanche just because of the autism.
So this child you are talking about might have a similar problem and the teachers are doing what they need to, to get this boy under control. Also he might have and IEP and they are doing what is suggested under the plan.
He sounds like he has a personal aide.
What punishment can the teacher or aide impose?
To have a teacher's aide, he must have an IEP. You have no idea what medical or emotional or even no home training this child has. He may not have been diagnosed or evaluated until he started school. He may very well be in therapy to learn how to deal with his anger issues. While it is completely inappropriate for him to overreact as he did, the teachers are following his IEP in reference to the calming techniques.
I am a firm believer in personal responsibility and that children need to be taught how to behave... but without the reason for his bad behavior, questioning the school/teacher/aide for following the IEP isn't going to accomplish anything.
Yes, I assume he has an IEP, and that is what the other teacher/aid is there for. I'm just trying to understand this kid. I obviously can't ask the teacher. I don't know the mom well enough. It may not be any of my business, but my son is in the class too, and if safety becomes an issue, it is my business. So far, his chair throwing hasn't hurt anyone, but it could.
He sounds like he has a personal aide.
What punishment can the teacher or aide impose?
To have a teacher's aide, he must have an IEP. You have no idea what medical or emotional or even no home training this child has. He may not have been diagnosed or evaluated until he started school. He may very well be in therapy to learn how to deal with his anger issues. While it is completely inappropriate for him to overreact as he did, the teachers are following his IEP in reference to the calming techniques.
I am a firm believer in personal responsibility and that children need to be taught how to behave... but without the reason for his bad behavior, questioning the school/teacher/aide for following the IEP isn't going to accomplish anything.
It also isn't going to hurt anything if I question it in an anonymous forum.
It also isn't going to hurt anything if I question it in an anonymous forum.
No, it won't hurt, but what will it accomplish? You will still be speculating at the root reason for the anger issues.
My brother was one who threw chairs in class. He was 13 or so at the time. When he was 11 he was hit by a car and had a closed head injury. The part of his brain that regulates moods was atrophied when the swelling put pressure on his brain. He had to re-learn how to evaluate/control his emotions. It was scary for him.. with children scared comes off as angry. I wish teachers/school were as advanced as they are now when he was in school.... maybe he wouldn't have been so angry for so long.
well, the kid punched a little girl in the face today, and slammed a door so hard a picture frame fell off the wall and broke.
I guess the issue could have any of a number of causes. I guess I just thought someone on here might have some insight into why he seems to be coddled instead of disciplined. I'm just curious. Whether or not I "accomplish" anything with my inquiry really shouldn't matter to you.
If I were you I would accept that the child has an issue that needs to be handled differently than the rest of the class. I would observe the techniques they use and how they approach him in certain situations (like his writing on another child's paper) and learn how to do the same.
I have a friend who is fostering a child that has been diagnosed with FAS-fetal alcohol syndrome and is currently up for adoption following the termination of parental rights. This child recently turned 5 and sounds similar to what you described regarding behavior. I believe he was still with his mother until he was 3 or so and was neglected during that time as well.
This foster child is a product of a mother heavily abusing substances and in no way is his behavior his fault. He is unable to process life in a normal way and since being in foster care has made great strides in learning. However, he has a very very long way to go to be like his peers.
Even if FAS is not his issue, reading up on it and other things (like being bi-polar or autistic) might give some insight as to why the child is handled the way he is. It's not likely positive attention that they are giving him, but instead proven techniques to assist him in managing his anger issues.
The brains in children with these type issues simply do not function properly, so while they are learning how to counteract that, the adults around them need to learn how to avoid, avert or control the situation. I applaud the teacher and aide for doing what they evidently know will work for him to calm him.
Teachers, principals and the school system in general have no real authority over children and their behavior. There are too many lawsuits and politically correctness attorneys out there to have any real discipline.
Say this child is removed from the calssroom and put into detention whenever he acts out.... then there is the requirement to "produce" test scores within the acceptable range and if he's been in detention for most of the day, how is he going to learn the material? The backside of this logic is that other children are in the classroom and may get hurt. In the end, the child looses.
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