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Someone's post from my last thread here is hanging around in the back of mind as I post this so I have to swear it isn't an "omg-r-muh-rents'-liek-bein-unfair?" kind of question.
I am 20, live at home because I can't afford to do otherwise and can't move out anytime soon either. I am in college and don't have a job but am looking for one, have no car either.
My mom's rule is that if I want to live at home, I have to go to college and I don't have an option, I either go to college or I go to college.
I understand her logic behind this:
-She never finished college herself and is paying the price for doing so.
-She wants me to succeed and get a degree.
-She doesn't want me just sitting around the house all the time.
I really do understand her.
But right now I am just not in the mindset to do so. I am severely depressed. My life is not where I want it to be. I can't concentrate on my work or in class. I am not doing the homework till the night before included writing papers. A lot of my not wanting to be in college stems from my depression. I can't function anymore, I need to work on myself and then go to college. I can't stand to fail anything else but I am struggling to even want to wake-up or get out of bed. I would go see a therapist and get on anti-depressants but I also have no health insurance.
I have already started this semester, so I am not going to quit because I'd lose money. I just don't want to go next semester.
I planned on going this semester, next semester, taking the summer off and then in the fall going to police academy and once I settled into work I was going to go back to college and finish going for my degree.
My new plan is to take next semester and summer off and then go to police academy and then go back to college after settling in.
After letting my mom know this, she said:
-I had no choice but to go.
-I was going to ruin my life and end up nothing.
-She doesn't let deadbeats live in her house. -.-
I know January is a long way off and I am going to see how this semester goes but I can't see the things I am upset about getting any better. I know I have a bit to go before then so I am not going to make a set in stone decision now that time will come when signing up for the spring semester but I know now that my decision will most likely to not go for the spring semester.
This is also my last semester at the college I am going to now. The place I am taking the classes is in town and is a branch of a main campus. I have to either go to main campus or transfer to the other college I plan on getting my degree from and I don't have a car and it snowed here the other day, I can't imagine walking to a bus stop or waiting out the in the snow for one once it is actually winter.
She isn't even paying for my college, my grandmother is.
So what should I do?
Should I just not sign up for classes and do what's best for me?
Should I sign up for classes and risk failing?
Someone's post from my last thread here is hanging around in the back of mind as I post this so I have to swear it isn't an "omg-r-muh-rents'-liek-bein-unfair?" kind of question.
I am 20, live at home because I can't afford to do otherwise and can't move out anytime soon either. I am in college and don't have a job but am looking for one, have no car either.
My mom's rule is that if I want to live at home, I have to go to college and I don't have an option, I either go to college or I go to college.
I understand her logic behind this:
-She never finished college herself and is paying the price for doing so.
-She wants me to succeed and get a degree.
-She doesn't want me just sitting around the house all the time.
I really do understand her.
But right now I am just not in the mindset to do so. I am severely depressed. My life is not where I want it to be. I can't concentrate on my work or in class. I am not doing the homework till the night before included writing papers. A lot of my not wanting to be in college stems from my depression. I can't function anymore, I need to work on myself and then go to college. I can't stand to fail anything else but I am struggling to even want to wake-up or get out of bed. I would go see a therapist and get on anti-depressants but I also have no health insurance.
I have already started this semester, so I am not going to quit because I'd lose money. I just don't want to go next semester.
I planned on going this semester, next semester, taking the summer off and then in the fall going to police academy and once I settled into work I was going to go back to college and finish going for my degree.
My new plan is to take next semester and summer off and then go to police academy and then go back to college after settling in.
After letting my mom know this, she said:
-I had no choice but to go.
-I was going to ruin my life and end up nothing.
-She doesn't let deadbeats live in her house. -.-
I know January is a long way off and I am going to see how this semester goes but I can't see the things I am upset about getting any better. I know I have a bit to go before then so I am not going to make a set in stone decision now that time will come when signing up for the spring semester but I know now that my decision will most likely to not go for the spring semester.
This is also my last semester at the college I am going to now. The place I am taking the classes is in town and is a branch of a main campus. I have to either go to main campus or transfer to the other college I plan on getting my degree from and I don't have a car and it snowed here the other day, I can't imagine walking to a bus stop or waiting out the in the snow for one once it is actually winter.
She isn't even paying for my college, my grandmother is.
So what should I do?
Should I just not sign up for classes and do what's best for me?
Should I sign up for classes and risk failing?
I don't know what to do.
Are you getting treatment for your depression? You really can't make any decisions until you are back to being yourself. Depression clouds your thinking.
can you live with your grandmother? can you see a councelor at school---i dont think they charge???
please go and talk to someone while you are still at school this semester.
I agree with Mommabear - it sounds like you might be depressed. See about that first. Otherwise, even though you are 'not in the mindset" right now, sitting at home doing nothing for several months is not going to help this. There are always times in our lives that we are "not in the mindset" for what we have to do, but part of being an adult is you just keep on doing it when you have to. If you had a job or a plan for that time I might think otherwise. A few more college classes will never HURT you, in fact, you might enjoy one of them or meet someone who can help you now or in the future. College is not all about the classes. But do see about getting some help if you are depressed....good luck.
If you are truly depressed you need to seek out professional therapy, so that someone can determine the origin and treat you appropriately.
Of course your Mom is going to blow you off if she thinks you are only in a slump and that it's no more serious than that. Once you insist on getting help for it, she can start understanding that it isn't just a lazy stage.
The upside is, when the Doctor/Therapist can get you back on track (it's a process), school will become a more positive experience. If you really don't want to go to school, you need to get a job and move out.
If you find college hard when you are depressed, a job will be even more tedious. I agree with the other posters, treatment is your best option. They should have counselors at your school or at least referrals to a therapist that can work on a sliding scale.
I wouldn't give up. Get that education under your belt because it's much harder to go back later in life.
Please, please, please do not stop going to college!! I understand that you are depressed but sitting at home and doing nothing is NOT going to help your depression, if anything it will make it worse. If you are having a very hard time concentrating perhaps you can take on a lighter class load next semester and use some of that extra time to get therapy.
I am 26 years old and dropped out of HS, I regret it every single day of my life (I have dreams about it all the time too) I wish I had the opportunity that you have with a free place to live, free food and free tuition. I want to go back to school now but where will I live? What would I eat? Who is going to take care of my child while I am there? How would I pay that person? Nope, for now working is the only option I have. And it's not a good job either, I'm a smart person, in honors and AP all through out school but I'm stuck in a mediocre job that is making me go brain dead because everyone wants to see a college degree on your resume.
On my salary I can't even afford a studio apartment! Thank goodness I married a smart and generous man who makes a decent living so I am "taken care of" but do you have any idea how much it sucks to not bring the same $$$ to the table? We are buying a house right now and had to stick to a modest budget because I can't afford much, it's all up to what HE can afford. If we had both gone to college we would be making a lot more now and could afford a lot more.
Trust me nothing is as depressing as quitting school and living life looking back and realizing what "could have been".
I completely understand your mothers no tolerance approach, sounds like she has her own regrets; she is not going to enable you to have the same regrets. I'm not that much older than you, trust me the regret does not take long to set in. Your mother is giving you the opportunity to not have to struggle as much as she probably has, sure you could move out now and get a job. How much do you think that job will pay with no degree? What kind of place do you think you will be able to live in? What kind of car do you think you will be able to buy? CRAP. Stick with it, suck it up, you sound mature, I know it feel like the worst thing right now but at the end of the day your mother really does know best. In a couple of years degree in hand you can move out and buy a car guaranteed however modest your place, car and lifestyle maybe they will be 10X's better than if you had not graduated.
Best of luck to you, please get the therapy you need and do not let depression ruin your life before it has even begun.
I'm going to quote Star Wars, as we do in our household from time to time, "Stay on Target!"
First I agree with other posters - you need to get treatment for your depression/funk. BUT, as you have stated, you ARE functioning (somewhat), you ARE sticking out the semester, and so you ARE capable of making it through this and getting well. All while taking classes. If you move out and do what you feel is better , things are actually going to be harder on you, and you're going to have a more difficult time recovering from your funk. Just my humble opinion.
I am not dropping out of college for good.
I just don't want to go next semester.
Either way, I have to take a break from college next fall for police academy.
and then doing my field training after graduation and most likely going back to college that next fall of 2011.
I'd like to go visit my grandmother and great grandmother, just spend some time down in TN to clear my head.
I WANT a degree in Criminal Justice. There is no way I am going to quit college for good and not get that degree.
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