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What would you do if this was your child? My daughter is 16 and umpiring a U10 girls slow pitch softball league. This is her first year and because of that she was put in the youngest league to gain experience. As you would expect in this league the kids are very inexperienced, make lots of errors, and the pitching is pretty bad. I have gone to watch her work (yes she gets paid) mostly because she doesn't have her drivers license yet. At the beginning there weren't any problems but the last two times I have observed a couple of coaches getting close to that borderline where I thought I might have to step in. They have become such big complainers about my daughters umpiring calls, that other parents and even the some of the kids have started complaining. Maybe I am just too thin skinned for this. I know it is part of the game to criticize the umpire, but these are adults, and it has gotten close to intimidation. They will ask for an explanation on a call, when she tries to show the rule in the rule book they don't want to hear it. The poor sportsmanship is very contagious. Most of the disagreements seem to center on the balls and strikes. The league has rules about an arc on the pitch and speed. The coaches seem only to care about where the pitch crosses the plate. The head umpire has repeatly told his umpires to enforce all the rules. It is difficult to stand still while some 30+ man is jumping up and down and loadly complaining about calls then refusing to listen to an explanation. Then hear others in the stands repeating what the coach is saying. So far I have only talked to my daughter to let her know these people can't be appeased. But I am strongly feeling the urge to step in an protect my daughter. So again, what would you do?
Don't go to the games. Or don't stay once you drop her off. I know as a parent I'd feel the same as you but you let her take the job so let her handle it herself unless she asks for help. Then the help should come from her bosses. Umpiring is rarely a fun job when parents are involved. I have seen leagues declare parents had to watch from a distance from the game due to their attitudes/actions towards umpires and coaches. This tends to calm things down for a while.
She, your daughter, will learn how to handle these situations or she'll have to quit as an umpire. You stepping in is not a viable option as she'll never learn how to handle herself.
Another option is that maybe she is not doing a good job. Not everyone is cut out to be an umpire. Not saying she is not but the possibility is there.
Are there not conduct rules for the coaches? When my kids played soccer the coaches and parents all had to sign conduct agreements about how they were allowed to comport themselves during games. Can your daughter complain to her boss? Some adults are such jerks to refs and umpires, trying to intimidate them.
My umpire days were made easier by the following answers:
"That's not how I see/seen/saw it, coach."
"You can file a protest through the league...now play ball."
I found if I stuck to those answers for any complaint, and showed no emotion...the complaints generally went away. Basically, it's like talking to a child and giving non-commital answers...eventually they realize they aren't going to get anywhere.
Your daughter is likely doing fine. Especially at the age she is involved in. Parents/coaches forget that little league is based on building social skills, teaching children to live by rules, and when confronted with things that you feel aren't right-to handle them with proper coping skills. (Throwing a bat=ejection as it isn't a valid coping skill).
Like I told my kids-without little league, we'd all be slinging poo like monkeys at the zoo.
Anyway-tell your daughter to have fun! I got $5 a game, it was enough for lunch and dessert at the DQ!
One of the most effective solutions for loud, criticizing parents at a game (I know your daughter's problems is mainly the coaches, so this may not be appropriate for her situation) is the 'pop' solution.
I was at a game a few years ago, the field was set up so both team's spectators were on the same side. there was a particularly loud and obnoxious parent there from the other team. A parent (from his own team) walked up to him and handed him a tootsie roll pop. The obnoxious parent said "what is this for?" The parent who handed it to him said "you just got popped, put it in your mouth." It took me a minute to figure out what it meant, but it did quiet the loud parent.
I know *I* wouldn't have the nerve to do that, but I thought it was a clever hint for mouthy sports parents.
There are several issues here. As a substitute teacher, Basketball referee, and school bus driver let me answer.
The rules for the league are flawed because the 10 and under girls are made to pitch, and have a difficult time throwing strikes. A friend's son is in a young league, and at ball 4, the batter's coach comes out and pitches to his own player, who gets his remaining strikes. There are no walks. Game time is reasonable. There are still time limits and slaughter rules.
Your daughter, being the new ump got stuck in this league because it is the hardest to deal with, longest games, and probably lowest pay. Teaching will be the same way. New teachers will line up on Rt. 1.
New school bus drivers will report to the housing projects.
Second, there will be a commissioner, or site manager at the game. She should get to know them, tell them which teams have loudmouth parent/coaches.
Let the young lady stand on her own to feet, but it does sound like she needs a few pointers.
I remember our director's saying at EBBOA (East Bay Basketball Officials Association):
"Put I.O.U. in pocket."
Interesting thread for a first-time post. Nonetheless, this isn't so much appropriate for the Northern Virginia forum as it might be for the Parenting forum. I'm moving it there.
What would you do if this was your child? My daughter is 16 and umpiring a U10 girls slow pitch softball league. This is her first year and because of that she was put in the youngest league to gain experience. As you would expect in this league the kids are very inexperienced, make lots of errors, and the pitching is pretty bad. I have gone to watch her work (yes she gets paid) mostly because she doesn't have her drivers license yet. At the beginning there weren't any problems but the last two times I have observed a couple of coaches getting close to that borderline where I thought I might have to step in. They have become such big complainers about my daughters umpiring calls, that other parents and even the some of the kids have started complaining. Maybe I am just too thin skinned for this. I know it is part of the game to criticize the umpire, but these are adults, and it has gotten close to intimidation. They will ask for an explanation on a call, when she tries to show the rule in the rule book they don't want to hear it. The poor sportsmanship is very contagious. Most of the disagreements seem to center on the balls and strikes. The league has rules about an arc on the pitch and speed. The coaches seem only to care about where the pitch crosses the plate. The head umpire has repeatly told his umpires to enforce all the rules. It is difficult to stand still while some 30+ man is jumping up and down and loadly complaining about calls then refusing to listen to an explanation. Then hear others in the stands repeating what the coach is saying. So far I have only talked to my daughter to let her know these people can't be appeased. But I am strongly feeling the urge to step in an protect my daughter. So again, what would you do?
Your daughter is doing a job. If she is not capable of doing the job she should not take the job. Yes-parents can get out of line. She should be capable of handling them on her own. If she is not then she should refuse to referee games.
My brother and I both refereed soccer games starting at around age 16. Handling the parents is part of the job. If your daughter cannot do it she should refuse future assignments and take a job for which she is better suited.
Did the league not train her? I would think that part of the training is handling parents and coaches. She needs to learn that it is part of the job. By the end of the season, she'll be fine at it. It's great experience for lots of situations later in life. However difficult it might be, you need to stay out of it. She is 16 and getting paid to do a job - you stepping in actually tells her and the coaches that she isn't capable - a lose-lose situation for all.
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