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I'll take the criticism for what I'm about to post because it's true: half of all marriages end in divorce; therefore, spending $24K on a wedding that will likely end in the couple hating each other is STUPID! Whoosh, I feel better after getting that off my chest. I love the "well, no one plans to get divorced so why not have the big wedding" argument some people whip out. I guess I'm a cynic though I prefer to be called a realist.
Glad I'm not the only person in America who thinks it's stupid. A girl I tutored back in HS married a millionaire in LA. They had a 5 million dollar wedding, and even though Mr. Money Bags could afford it, I still thought it was asinine. They're still married though.
We spent about $15K - $5K on rings, $5K on "the day", and $5K on the honeymoon. It's still too much money. Our parents contributed and it was a lovely day, but if I could do it over, I'd stick with the initial plan to marry overseas and party at home. Lots cheaper and lots less stress!
I do wish the couple a lot of luck! I'm no a cynic when it comes to marriage - just weddings.
As far as the money issue, I honestly don't remember what my husband and I did. I think I just used gift money and paid for the rest out of my pocket. It probably wasn't that smart in retrospect, but we had been together for 4 years. Also, if you knew my husband, you'd understand why I wasn't worried about getting ripped off. I like the idea of pooling the gift money in a joint account and maybe each adding some set amount of money for down payments. Seems "safe" and fair to me.
We spent more on rings than we did on the wedding. Or the honeymoon.
I figure the wedding and the honeymoon are one-time deals... the rings are things we should be wearing for YEARS, so why not have nice ones?
We had a small wedding, though. Just our immediate family. We honeymooned right where we had our wedding (Biltmore Estate).
It was so relaxing, I cannot tell you!
Why people have HUGE, stressful weddings that they cannot afford is beyond me.
On edit: Not to imply that the OP is doing that... he seems like a smart fella.
I'll take the criticism for what I'm about to post because it's true: half of all marriages end in divorce; therefore, spending $24K on a wedding that will likely end in the couple hating each other is STUPID! Whoosh, I feel better after getting that off my chest. I love the "well, no one plans to get divorced so why not have the big wedding" argument some people whip out. I guess I'm a cynic though I prefer to be called a realist.
Glad I'm not the only person in America who thinks it's stupid. A girl I tutored back in HS married a millionaire in LA. They had a 5 million dollar wedding, and even though Mr. Money Bags could afford it, I still thought it was asinine. They're still married though.
We spent about $15K - $5K on rings, $5K on "the day", and $5K on the honeymoon. It's still too much money. Our parents contributed and it was a lovely day, but if I could do it over, I'd stick with the initial plan to marry overseas and party at home. Lots cheaper and lots less stress!
I do wish the couple a lot of luck! I'm no a cynic when it comes to marriage - just weddings.
As far as the money issue, I honestly don't remember what my husband and I did. I think I just used gift money and paid for the rest out of my pocket. It probably wasn't that smart in retrospect, but we had been together for 4 years. Also, if you knew my husband, you'd understand why I wasn't worried about getting ripped off. I like the idea of pooling the gift money in a joint account and maybe each adding some set amount of money for down payments. Seems "safe" and fair to me.
The book cited here is almost 20 years old. If you come to the table with a more recent source, I would love to read it.
I counter you with wiki, which I realize many people don't count as a reliable source, but I'm posting it anyway: Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. According to the article, the divorce rate in 2008 was only 46% so I have to amend my earlier statement, but it does nothing to change how I feel on the subject. If 46 marriages in 100 end in divorce, it's silly to spend $24K on a wedding.
The book cited here is almost 20 years old. If you come to the table with a more recent source, I would love to read it.
I counter you with wiki, which I realize many people don't count as a reliable source, but I'm posting it anyway: Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. According to the article, the divorce rate in 2008 was only 46% so I have to amend my earlier statement, but it does nothing to change how I feel on the subject. If 46 marriages in 100 end in divorce, it's silly to spend $24K on a wedding.
We cannot know exactly what the divorce rate is at any point in time, because of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.
We can know how many marriages many decades in the past ended in a divorce. We can guess that a similar number in the future will, but to assume that to be a valid statistic, we must assume that the rate never changes. But we know that it does.
The only way we can know how many currently married couples will get a divorce, is by waiting for them all to die or divorce, and then looking at the data.
I'm not splitting hairs, and I'm not here to squabble about percentages of divorce. You can put a down payment on a house (pay off debt, buy a nice car, go to college, etc.) or have a big wedding. That's the choice for most people - eliminating the outliers, of course. The choice seems obvious to me regardless of the divorce rate, but different strokes make the world turn 'round.
I think I paid 10 bucks total for our wedding. We married in the Church that was a originally build in the 13th century. We could marry there for free because that is where I was born, in the same county. We had the reception at our house and the only guests were close friends and families.
It feels nice to hear that you guys have a nice payment plan to get you out of debt. Debt repayment is a major concern for all these days. A joint cc company will go after the more affluent partner. It's in your best interest that you should discuss everything to stay honest with each other in the long run.
My wife-to-be and I were on a cross country camping trip. I had looked in the World Almanac at marriage laws, and found only two states where you could get married on the spur of the moment, no waiting periods before or after license, no medical exams, no blood tests. no residency requirements. Just pay the fee and do it. The two states were Nevada an Kentucky. (There are more now---that was 20 years ago.)
Driving through Tompkinsville KY, I said "There's the courthouse. Should we?" She said Yes. Clothes smelling like campfire smoke, an hour later it was a done deal. About $15 for the license, the judge was in a recess with nothing else to do, two county clerks holding styrofoam cups were the witnesses. Reception (just the two of us: Ten bucks) at a great catfish buffet down the road in Dover, Tennessee.
We cannot know exactly what the divorce rate is at any point in time, because of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.
We can know how many marriages many decades in the past ended in a divorce. We can guess that a similar number in the future will, but to assume that to be a valid statistic, we must assume that the rate never changes. But we know that it does.
The only way we can know how many currently married couples will get a divorce, is by waiting for them all to die or divorce, and then looking at the data.
Pretty sure that has nothing to do with the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, which states that the more accurately you measure the momentum of a particle, the more uncertain your measurement of its position becomes, and vice versa. Even as an analogy, it fails, since nothing you are measuring is changing the ability to measure something else.
Basically, we cannot know exactly what the divorce rate is at any point in time, because of our inability to see into the future. The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle has everything to do with current momentum and position, and nothing to do with the future.
Pretty sure that has nothing to do with the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, which states that the more accurately you measure the momentum of a particle, the more uncertain your measurement of its position becomes, and vice versa. Even as an analogy, it fails, since nothing you are measuring is changing the ability to measure something else.
Basically, we cannot know exactly what the divorce rate is at any point in time, because of our inability to see into the future. The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle has everything to do with current momentum and position, and nothing to do with the future.
Heisenberg described an uncertainty that applies to a wide range of phenomena in the universe, and the momentum of particles was the particular thing Werner was working on at the time. But that does not limit the fundamental principle to exclude everything except particles. In general, it means that if two motions, one in time and one in space, are both occurring, they cancel out the possibility of knowing both simultaneously. It applies to a lot of things, including trying to determine the exact momemtum of the divorce rate (a particle of data) at an exact point in time (now).
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I love the "well, no one plans to get divorced so why not have the big wedding" argument some people whip out. 
I guess I'm a cynic though I prefer to be called a realist.
some thing to consider...
