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As a (civilian) Inspector General for the Army, I don't recommend that you join the Army. I realize the the 'Man Up" comments are made in jest. It's simply sad that someone with enough guts to post that they have depression gets this sort of reply, even as a lighthearted comment.
I agree with the people that have advised you to seek help for your depression, pay off your car with the money in your checking account, do not touch your 401k, look for a different job, maybe a part-time job with at least health benefits while you seek counseling while you find something you really would enjoy doing. Good luck!
I hope you get some relief for the depression and anxiety. Been there, it's a *****.
One small part (not a cure-all, just another link in the chain of mental health) is practicing gratitude. You have a hell of a lot more financially than most people do. Be thankful that this is the case. Being broke and depressed is far worse!
Well I just had to come in for work on a ****ing Saturday. We moved to a new office and the environment is even worse than the old one. I just want to go in Monday and yell and shriek to everyone that I quit right on the spot and just bolt off. I'm tired of living this way.
To answer a subset of the questions posed ... I'm a software developer working for a trading firm. If I really wanted to I could put my heart and soul into this place like I had been before and eventually earn over 6 figures. But what the **** am I going to spend it on? A nice condo in the city and continue to just live alone?
I know that the life of a software developer can be awful. Have you thought of looking for a new job in your field? They aren't all that terrible.
Also, it does sound like you are sad about not being in a relationship. Talking with someone and perhaps looking into online dating (???) might help. Changing jobs probably won't change the dating situation.
I'm going to break with other posters here slightly. I'm going to assume that whatever caused you to suffer depression and anxiety is largely resolved now.
Economically speaking you're doing fine. You should be saving more in your 401(k) but everyone's situations are different (COL where you live, your personal expenses like medicine, food, and other misc. expenses, whether you get a match, and whether you have good options for investments, etc.).
Since you don't have a mortgage or credit card debt, I would recommend that you pay off your car. That will save you hundreds in interest.
BUT, and this is the big but, ONLY pay off your car if you plan on keeping working for about a year and a half or more, because 9k is a big hit to the pool of future travel/saving/etc funds, especially someone living off $70k (again depends on your COL ... here in Seattle 70k is below "middle class").
RE: "finding yourself" I agree that nobody finds themselves. They have to go out and try different actions, professions, hobbies, and read read read. Only then will you find what truly floats your boat. I was lucky - I had my moment when I was 6 looking at the Challenger lift off. Try different stuff out. All jobs have their crappy days, even crappy months or even year. Persistence and a thick skin are needed in this world.
I just want to quit. Why can't anyone encourage me to just ****ing quit? I don't want this anymore. Somebody encourage me. Has anyone done something like what I want to do? What happened?
Why is it so important to you to have encouragement from complete strangers?
Look, my husband is in an awful situation at work (he's an engineer). They routinely work him 12-18 hours a day, weekends, and send him on business trips with the directive "don't come home until you're done". Well, who the h*ll decides when it's done??? They give him the silent treatment and have canceled all his vacations even though he has 4 weeks saved up. He's interviewing for new jobs now. He knows that not all companies are this bad. Even though we have more than 2 years' salary at our disposal, he would not leave this job without having another one lined up. That's just how we roll. He's been looking since January. The last time he was looking (2 years ago) it only took 8 weeks for him to find a new job. Things have changed. The market is more competitive. That's why I won't encourage you to just quit with no backup plan. You may have a very difficult time getting back into the game.
I'm just not hearing a good game plan from you. My sister-in-law did what you're talking about, but she was living with her sisters so they could carry her if needed. She's a secretary so it wasn't like being out of the technology game for a year. She was unemployed for 9 months, and we were beginning to think she wasn't going to find another job, but she finally did.
You need to chill and take some time to think. Maybe take a long vacation to clear your head (if your company will allow it).
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