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I ask this because I have been struggling for the past few years with feelings of inadequacy because I do not earn a good salary and I am the lowest paid of my peers and friends.
Growing up, I was always very career driven and wanted to rise to the highest ranks career-wise but reality turned out very differently and I’ve found myself much, much lower than I’d like and my career nearly in the toilet. I’m working diligently on making some better career moves and earning more money but what gets me is how badly I feel for earning the low salary that I do and feeling unsuccessful (and kinda like a loser) because of it.
So help me out with this:
Am I crazy to feel unsuccessful because I don’t make a lot of money? Or is this just society’s ingraining on me?
Is salary really the best determinant for success? If a janitor is the best janitor on his team but earns $10 an hour, is he successful?
If a CEO slacks off and doesn’t contribute much to his company but earns $1 mil annually, is he still successful?
It’s been made clear from posts on this board that for my educational attainment and current salary (master’s degree and <$40k annually) that there is something very wrong with my current situation. Should I feel bad? I want very badly to not allow my earnings to determine my happiness, self worth and achievement…but I feel like the messages I get are that I am an underachiever because of it. And there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel unhappy about it. Should I? Should I not?
What industry are you in? Some industries just dont pay well regardless of education..Now if you know for sure you earn less than your peers than i think its clear what you need to do.
What industry are you in? Some industries just dont pay well regardless of education..Now if you know for sure you earn less than your peers than i think its clear what you need to do.
I'm in marketing. Its clear that I earn far less than I should be. And I have been putting our resumes for about 2 months now searching for a better position.
But my issue is my fixation on salary and the feelings of indequacy because I don't enough more. I wonder if my feelings are justified and whether I really should be beating myself up for it. Because I feel I am not "successful".
Am I crazy to feel unsuccessful because I don’t make a lot of money? Or is this just society’s ingraining on me?
Is salary really the best determinant for success? If a janitor is the best janitor on his team but earns $10 an hour, is he successful?
If a CEO slacks off and doesn’t contribute much to his company but earns $1 mil annually, is he still successful?
It’s been made clear from posts on this board that for my educational attainment and current salary (master’s degree and <$40k annually) that there is something very wrong with my current situation. Should I feel bad? I want very badly to not allow my earnings to determine my happiness, self worth and achievement…but I feel like the messages I get are that I am an underachiever because of it. And there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel unhappy about it. Should I? Should I not?
Thoughts?
Success is something that you have to define for yourself based on what is important to you. You need to take some time for self examination and decide. It sounds like your current measure is very narrowly based on money and should probably be expanded into other areas of your life.
If you spend a lot of time on money boards it is easy to get that emphasis because you surround yourself with people that have strong money goals. Different people have much different ideas of success. On a money board it is likely income or net worth. On a frugal living board it could be learning to desire the things you already have and being content with less. At my church it could be spiritual awareness and the acceptance of redemptive suffering.
My own idea of success includes being a loving wife to my husband, having meaningful work, living contentedly on what we bring in, and investing for the future. It includes being active in the church and community, being generous to support causes we believe in, and helping friends and neighbors when they need a hand. The money is definitely a part of my definition of success but it is only a part, and it is possible to be successful in the other areas while working to improve the money part. The whole thing is always a work in progress because there is room for improvement in my life for every area that I have listed.
If you are unhappy every day, redirect your thoughts to other areas of your life where you are having more success. Continue to work on the money issue that is making you unhappy, but don't let it take over your thoughts and your life.
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