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Your making 100k and your intelligence shows for it. You can manage youselves,your sister and husband cant like every other boon in the US. DO I feel bad about my family making their stupid decisions??No,no I dont.
What Lexus?Ill take it off your hands
Common now it's not the worse, car payments, it's not like they declare bankruptcy . But I have a relative like that, I try to help but won't let it bothers me, which is key. Not everybody is sensible.
I see bad decisions all over the place with friends and family. Some are understandable though not IMO advisable. Others are ludicrous. These days I usually don't comment unless directly asked.
My parents have made one bad financial decision after another for my entire life. Now don't get me wrong- they still own a home and have OK credit, so they could be doing a lot worse. But through a series of 'easy' short-term decisions (several of which I advised against back when I was younger and hadn't yet learned that unsolicited advice is a waste of effort), they've squandered what could have been a pretty comfortable retirement. Now they're living with the consequences, and their quality of life is lower for it.
But they still don't take money seriously.
I don't expect to inherit anything at this point (though it could've been six figures with proper management). I'll be happy if they just manage to keep their house and they don't have to move in with me.
I see bad decisions all over the place with friends and family. Some are understandable though not IMO advisable. Others are ludicrous. These days I usually don't comment unless directly asked.
My parents have made one bad financial decision after another for my entire life. Now don't get me wrong- they still own a home and have OK credit, so they could be doing a lot worse. But through a series of 'easy' short-term decisions (several of which I advised against back when I was younger and hadn't yet learned that unsolicited advice is a waste of effort), they've squandered what could have been a pretty comfortable retirement. Now they're living with the consequences, and their quality of life is lower for it.
But they still don't take money seriously.
I don't expect to inherit anything at this point (though it could've been six figures with proper management). I'll be happy if they just manage to keep their house and they don't have to move in with me.
Finances is truly one of the "what you don't know CAN hurt you" scenarios.
It's really hard to butt out of people's lives when you genuinely care for them, and want them to have the best quality life possible. Like you said though, if they're not directly asking, they're not going to listen to your advice.
It's hard for me to hold my tongue around one friend that makes terrible decisions one after another, and having no difficulty justifying them. A short list includes:
In-laws give a house to him, he decides it's too far away from work so he rents to the first person that responds. No background check, no security deposit. This is a stripper by the way. She attempts renovations on the house, doesn't tell them about a burst pipe in the laundry room (soaking the main level, mildew stains through the walls). Stripper skips town 3 months later, 4 months behind on rent.
Lies to nutritionist to get authorization for lap band surgery. Gets surgery, drops from 450lbs to 230lbs. Doesn't change diet (pizza 5-6 nights a week, not exaggerating), back up to 375lbs today
Declares bankruptcy, loses rental house
Leaves a stable fortune 100 company for a fly-by-night shop, lateral pay, gets downsized a year later
Gets new job, immediately buys a $30k minivan (single income household, ~100k HHI)
Six months later, buys foreclosure. Turns out to be a gut job, also new roof/siding/etc. Got an FHA loan, put minimum down payment, took the full $35k reno budget, and renovations end up running $60k
A similar peer to him in age/experience/income did not make those same mistakes, and his net worth is $300k higher than the person above.
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