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I don't know for sure if she ever went on Medicaid. The letter doesn't seem to divulge that info- only that there is enough money for all of us to inherit
All I know is the letter reads that possibility as the reasoning for handing all she has.... to my cousin.
It's doubtful she would try to circumvent paying her own future medical bills. She's always prided herself on being a moral person, and her life exemplified that. That's what I've heard throughout the yrs
A friend just called. He is a parallegal but owns a law office. He got mad at the State bar and they kicked him out 5 yrs ago by disbarring him so he is no longer an attorney. He has a drinking problem-DUI's and some other criminal case about domestic violence when they were drunk.
He said, adamantly, what they are suing for is for my cousin, the Trustee, to adhere to the terms of the Trust Agreement. It states it has less than 2k but still. So my cousin needs to give an accounting of where all of this money went. He cannot get out of it, period.
My friend is going thru issues with his daughter on heroin now so I didn't want to bother him. He was a volunteer judge for small claims court for yrs until they said he wasn't bringing in enough money so they hired a real judge. He's done some business law but is not a trust/estate attorney
I have always said: when theres an inheritance to be had, EVERY ONE gets GREEDY.
Some unknown relationship or loose relationship or never-saw-the-deceased- in-45 -years relationship or some "who one time did a small favor for the decedent, who promised to remember me in her/his will" people who come out of the woodwork.
My best friend ( early medically retired) went to Florida to be with gma as her life was ebbing. He has 4 Bros and sis, and I clearly told him: make photo copies of ALL bank accounts, any money in investment statement s, etc, make a photo inventory of her condo, etc. PROVE EVERYTHING he did for her financially and send monthly report s to the dogs. Nope, he didn't do it. She didn't have much, and he did pay her bills. She also told him all in the condo was HIS. as she neared death, he called all and said "get down here, she's dying"....one ONE sib showed up. He cleared up her estate, rented uhaul and hauled the furniture to home in the north. The sis and one bro refused to contact him except to threaten him with a lawsuit for "misappropriation of gma's estate". Neither showed up at my best friends sons funeral when he committed suicide at age 24. Flat out refused to come because if gma's estate. Ugh.
I Know when my father passes, my remaining sib is in prison for life, and the trust for my father's estate goes largely to me, because my sib is only allowed$300 / m on "the books" in the prison"bank account". There will still be trouble, except my father s trust will be iron clad, so I will be saved.
My OH s father has dementia, is in a nursing home and wants to go to and consider Ed able to go to assisted living. He FINALLY, at the urging of a court liason, us setting up a trust. There won't be much left of all his finds get eaten up.
Now, Sara, IF there is only $2k in the estate left,vejy are you worried? You won't get much. If you are really interested, get your own lawyer. The problem is, if he already spent it, and can't pay it back, or gets sent to prison for misappropriation of funds, he certainly won't be able to pay it back.
Maybe best if you just let it go.
And, i echo others sentiment, you never made the effort to go see her, either. If you knew she was living in squalor,even after the week whomever spent trying to clean up, YOU could have made arrangements to go spend a vacation week with her yourself to help in the effort s. With 11 neices and nephews, plus her family, one going and staying a week with her just every other week, with the opposite week by herself or him stopping by ( ugh), for, what, at least 25 weeks, or half a year ALL of you could have helped her and kept an eye on things looooobg before it came to this point!
Now, you appear as greedy as others , neglected her until there's money involved.
Sorry, making a statement, not passing judgement. Things aren't always as they appear.
Let it also be a lesson to you ( and all reading this): set yourself up a living REVOCABLE trust, which can be changed at any time ( unlike a IRREVOCABLE trust, which is carved in stone), make sure it not only specifies who gets what, but how your bills are to be paid if you become incapacitated and can't. It can also spell out where you want to live until help is necessary for ADL (Activities of Daily Living). When you are no longer able to take care of yourself.
When my FIL went to the nursing home, we have had NO way to pay his house hold bills, let alone the nursing home bills. A court case ensued ( currently in continuance) while his estate is thoroughly evaluated, and it is determined how his bills will be paid. One thing is he cannot return to his 6 level home, it's unsafe for him.
So, if there's no hope of getting anything Sara, then let it go. If there is, you'd be best to lawyer up and get your own case going against the estate and the "scoundrel".
Wasn't sure where to put this. First of all, I am doing nothing but am curious.
My Cousin John sent us a letter 2 yrs ago saying that when our Aunt passed, she gave him all of her life savings. We are in her trust along with my other cousins. John said to avoid the medicaid look back period, he had our Aunt give him all of our inheritances for fear she would end up in a home and all of it would be used up. She was very healthy for her age.
Medicaid Lokback is 5 yrs and she died 5 yrs 4 months later so in hindesight, wasn't needed.
Now he's ghosting everyone. His father, my uncle, is suing him (his son) along with one of my cousins. We have a copy of the attorney letter which includes part of the trust, one page which states who gets how much. I wonder if I could see any money somehow though it's my cousin and my Uncle doing the suing. If there is any money left. My Cousin John has been known as a straight Christian man for years .Married his high school sweetheart, they had to children who are grown now. No one saw it coming. She had my Aunt, who was 91 at the time, hand over her life savings. She did at 95.5 yrs
Anyhow just wondering what might happen if anyone knows about this stuff. Thanks
By the way, John could say he "cared for" my aunt stopping by as we all didn't live nearby. She had a church supporting her well so there wasn't much care at all. With all her money, she has plenty of it so could hire housekeepers and cooks if needed. However his sister tells me she stopped by to get her brother to get someone to clean the house. There were rat feces and poop piled up inside the sopped up toilet that hadn;t been cleaned. 9 yr old Weiners in the fridge. Etc. So he might have helped but he left her living in squallor conditions.
you say you are part of a trust your aunt set up, so if the money is in a trust, and you are a trustee, how could he take it all? dont withdrawls from trust have to be approved by all trustees?
you say you are part of a trust your aunt set up, so if the money is in a trust, and you are a trustee, how could he take it all? dont withdrawls from trust have to be approved by all trustees?
No, there is a trustee in charge of the trust (named by the person who set the trust up) but the trustee can do quite a lot without the beneficiaries knowing about it. Beneficiaries are entitled to a regular financial reports but most do not know to ask for that. Some beneficiaries don't even know they are named in the trust.
A professional trustee, which can be a bank or other financial institution, will provide regular updates because they are professionals. Many small trusts name relatives who have little background in finances and the beneficiaries know even less. A lot can go wrong when the fox is guarding the henhouse.
I have always said: when theres an inheritance to be had, EVERY ONE gets GREEDY.
Some unknown relationship or loose relationship or never-saw-the-deceased- in-45 -years relationship or some "who one time did a small favor for the decedent, who promised to remember me in her/his will" people who come out of the woodwork.
My best friend ( early medically retired) went to Florida to be with gma as her life was ebbing. He has 4 Bros and sis, and I clearly told him: make photo copies of ALL bank accounts, any money in investment statement s, etc, make a photo inventory of her condo, etc. PROVE EVERYTHING he did for her financially and send monthly report s to the dogs. Nope, he didn't do it. She didn't have much, and he did pay her bills. She also told him all in the condo was HIS. as she neared death, he called all and said "get down here, she's dying"....one ONE sib showed up. He cleared up her estate, rented uhaul and hauled the furniture to home in the north. The sis and one bro refused to contact him except to threaten him with a lawsuit for "misappropriation of gma's estate". Neither showed up at my best friends sons funeral when he committed suicide at age 24. Flat out refused to come because if gma's estate. Ugh.
I Know when my father passes, my remaining sib is in prison for life, and the trust for my father's estate goes largely to me, because my sib is only allowed$300 / m on "the books" in the prison"bank account". There will still be trouble, except my father s trust will be iron clad, so I will be saved.
My OH s father has dementia, is in a nursing home and wants to go to and consider Ed able to go to assisted living. He FINALLY, at the urging of a court liason, us setting up a trust. There won't be much left of all his finds get eaten up.
Now, Sara, IF there is only $2k in the estate left,vejy are you worried? You won't get much. If you are really interested, get your own lawyer. The problem is, if he already spent it, and can't pay it back, or gets sent to prison for misappropriation of funds, he certainly won't be able to pay it back.
Maybe best if you just let it go.
And, i echo others sentiment, you never made the effort to go see her, either. If you knew she was living in squalor,even after the week whomever spent trying to clean up, YOU could have made arrangements to go spend a vacation week with her yourself to help in the effort s. With 11 neices and nephews, plus her family, one going and staying a week with her just every other week, with the opposite week by herself or him stopping by ( ugh), for, what, at least 25 weeks, or half a year ALL of you could have helped her and kept an eye on things looooobg before it came to this point!
Now, you appear as greedy as others , neglected her until there's money involved.
Sorry, making a statement, not passing judgement. Things aren't always as they appear.
Let it also be a lesson to you ( and all reading this): set yourself up a living REVOCABLE trust, which can be changed at any time ( unlike a IRREVOCABLE trust, which is carved in stone), make sure it not only specifies who gets what, but how your bills are to be paid if you become incapacitated and can't. It can also spell out where you want to live until help is necessary for ADL (Activities of Daily Living). When you are no longer able to take care of yourself.
When my FIL went to the nursing home, we have had NO way to pay his house hold bills, let alone the nursing home bills. A court case ensued ( currently in continuance) while his estate is thoroughly evaluated, and it is determined how his bills will be paid. One thing is he cannot return to his 6 level home, it's unsafe for him.
So, if there's no hope of getting anything Sara, then let it go. If there is, you'd be best to lawyer up and get your own case going against the estate and the "scoundrel".
Best to you...
I am curious whether I will get paid, that's all. I let it go the minute I learned of it. Not sure where you are coming from.
I learned JUST yesterday she was living in squallor. No doubt I'd have visited her because she was very kind to me as a 5-6 yr old child. I would've done something. I visited her once, 6 months before she passed unaware I was in her will. She didn't recognize me.
She lives 23 hrs away from me. I always heard she was taken care of.
I did hospice for TWO of my Uncles, meaning this ladies brothers. My fathers brothers aka my Uncles. She never phoned during this time. Not angry with her but just saying. This is not a close family. Surely she appreciated my efforts though she never called. Not sure they got along well though. When no one else was there, I was the niece who stepped up. I have 11 other cousins who could've helped. My own Father didn't visit his siblings much so I hardly remember most of them. And NO, I got almost nothing for doing hospice this which is fine with me. Did it for 3-4 months for each of my Uncles and received maybe 5k at the most. Never asked for any money and my husband assisted in their care.
From what I knew of my cousin and his wife, they were standup couple. Together since the age of 14. My Uncle who is still alive, the executors Father, lived nearby his sister until the last year. He is fully functioning in his 80's. However he had his own alzheimers wife to care for. We've never been rich enough to just hop in the car and visit all of my dad's siblings and care for them. We need to pay our own bills too. I cared for two of his siblings which resided 3 hrs from our home. They were forced to live with us because I still had to work. No way we could afford it otherwise.
My Dad is one of 8. Many or most of his siblings, I never knew. I never contributed this aunts care, this is why I will not be getting a lawyer. She owes me NOTHING. But forgive me if the Cousin I do remember.... and know a little more....it does bother me he stole from me. My inheritance. And left my aunt living in squallor. He could've just stole the $150K designated for various organizations without touching his own cousins, his sisters, and his own Fathers inheritance.
Somehow he's spent at least 500K but likely closer to 1 million. His own fathers wife was very ill. His Fathers life savings, his pension ,went to pay for his wife's nursing home care. He was barely able to make it. Why do that to your own Father?? The more I consider the situation ,the more blown away I am. This just can't be real however it is.
you say you are part of a trust your aunt set up, so if the money is in a trust, and you are a trustee, how could he take it all? dont withdrawls from trust have to be approved by all trustees?
He is the executor of the trust. He paid her bills so always had access to the funds. By the time she died, she had gifted her life savings to him. Well supposidly. He may have just wrote himself the checks, we don't know if she even knew about it. He could've been fleecing her for yrs
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