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For a long time now I haven't been able to really connect with anyone here. I don't know if it's because I dislike this town so much that I won't even put forth the effort to really get to know people here, or if the way I think about people is based in reality, so I'd like some input.
I have the impression that people are not really passionate about anything, they just sort of live here. When I got here (from the SF Bay Area) I noticed the difference initially by watching TV. It seems like all I would see would be news filled with crime superimposed by some hokey channel 3 reporter reporting from Dunkin Donuts (honest to Gosh, that really did air). So I don't watch anything local anymore. It was almost embarassing when they had that show on a few years back, that American Idol wannabe show.
There seems to be a lack of interest in delving too deeply into any one area, a lack of intellectualism or curiousity about the bigger world around us. I think most people are just interested in ?
At any rate, maybe what I'm trying to say is there seems to be a lack of "life" or intensity to the people here. I've been criticized at work for asking questions like "why?" and for having my own thoughts. Apparently I'm too high strung and not relaxed enough. I feel like I'm living in Stepfordland.
Thoughts?
You have it just right. When I lived in the midwest people actually knew each other. You would say hello. As a matter of fact-when our neighbors moved in, my mom baked a cake and brought it over to welcome them. This place is full of transients from all over. No one knows each other because as soon as they get home, they shut the garage door behind the car. I almost don't blame them sometimes due to the heat. It is pretty hard to be outside half of the year. This is TOTALLY Stepfordland-especially if you are in Scottsdale-which unfortunately I am for now. So, do not question yourself-you aren't wrong. This place has something wrong with it. Lots of somethings actually.
I lived in the midwest and it is friendly based on race sometimes. I grew up in Chicago we could not cross the street because different people in certain people lived there. I moved into my home in arrowhead December 2006 few weeks late I had major surgery. My neighbor knocked on my door to meet me. My daughter told her I was in bed and could not get up. My neighbor went and brought dinner to us, she told my daughter that she hopes I get well. I have never had a neighbor bring me anything in my life except complain about my dogs barking. I find that many people move here running from something. If we are not happy with ourselves, we will not be happy anywhere. I did spend 3 weeks in Fort Laven Worth, Kansas as midwest as it can get and I don't recall friendliness. My point don't blame a city for your social problems, get out and introduce yourself, there is so many nearby quick getaways. I lived in the midwest I met many boring and interesting people.
I agree you have to get out and show your face to meet people and you are going to have good and bad everywhere. Unfortunately for me Iam one of those people that pull in there garage and shut it because for me I cant stand the weather Im hardly ever outside 6-7 months out of the year I cant stand this place. You cant beat the winters here they are gorgeous and that is when you will find me outside at the park with my kids doing outdoor activities but other then that you wont catch us outside. For me that is sad cause the kids are home all summer and we never want to do anything cause its to hot.
So if everyone hates this place so much why are you all still here? , no jobs, nothing to do, ungodly weather( which most intelligent people would know by coming to the desert) bad driver, crime, pollution. And if you have to stay here for some reason, why dont you be more positive abou this place instead of living in misery. No place is perfect, they all have their issues, so why not make the best of time here instead of just whining about it. But I guess that wouldnt be any fun for all of you.
Why don't you move somewhere that YOU hate, and see how fast you start "whining". I've been stuck in this hellhole for 21 years, and have tried time and again to be positive. There comes a point at which you realize that you need to live in reality--with grass and trees and normalcy. I notice you're in Denver, so why don't you put your money where your mouth is and move to Phoenix before YOU start whining about other people?
There comes a point at which you realize that you need to live in reality--with grass and trees and normalcy.
I think this statement speak volumes about many of the Phoenix haters. They have a total inability to adapt to a different environment than what they grew up in.
I can tell you all form first hand experience - the quality of life in Seattle is CRAP compared to Phoenix. Google the term "Seattle Freeze" it is not about the weather.
And the Stranger is little more than a propaganda rag - yes they habitually print falsehoods and not just about Phoenix.
Phoenix is a wonderful city - the only requirement is that one likes living in the desert. If one does not care for desert living than obviously Phoenix is not the righ choice for said indivual(s).
I am a college graduate with a successful career. And I am well traveled Some of the most unfriendly, intolerant individuals I ever met were college educated "sophisiticates" in places like Manhatten and San Francisco. There is no correlation between being college educated and having good character. And the idea that liberal political beliefs reflect enlightenment is total bunk. Just get into a political discussion with one of them and say something, anything they don't like and see what happens.
Finally many of the folks that bash Phoenix have never lived in a new place before. They get pisssssed because the lifetime relationships they left behind cannot be instantly replicated. And they fault Phoenix residents for not exibiting behavior they themselves never practiced "back home".
Phoenix is not perfect and it is not for everyone but to me it is paradise compared to Seattle and San Francisco.
For a long time now I haven't been able to really connect with anyone here. I don't know if it's because I dislike this town so much that I won't even put forth the effort to really get to know people here, or if the way I think about people is based in reality, so I'd like some input.
I have the impression that people are not really passionate about anything, they just sort of live here. When I got here (from the SF Bay Area) I noticed the difference initially by watching TV. It seems like all I would see would be news filled with crime superimposed by some hokey channel 3 reporter reporting from Dunkin Donuts (honest to Gosh, that really did air). So I don't watch anything local anymore. It was almost embarassing when they had that show on a few years back, that American Idol wannabe show.
There seems to be a lack of interest in delving too deeply into any one area, a lack of intellectualism or curiousity about the bigger world around us. I think most people are just interested in ?
At any rate, maybe what I'm trying to say is there seems to be a lack of "life" or intensity to the people here. I've been criticized at work for asking questions like "why?" and for having my own thoughts. Apparently I'm too high strung and not relaxed enough. I feel like I'm living in Stepfordland.
Thoughts?
Whatever dude.....I'm passionate about things and I have lived in Phoenix for 29 years. Was this post really necessary?
Unfortunately, I have to agree with the OP. I moved here a few months ago from Houston, and I have had an incredibly hard time making friends in this city.
Unlike some, I did not choose to move to this city. My partner's job in Houston was relocated here, so we did not have much of a choice in the matter. Also, his company did not give us much notice, so there was very little time for thought.
Although, he had been here quite a few times, I myself, had only been here once for literally a day and a half prior to moving. Just having been here that one time, I'll admit that I was not overly thrilled with PHX, and for some reason, I couldn't wait to get back home to Houston.
The funny thing is that I am not a native Houstonian, or a native Texan for that matter. And yes, I found many faults with Houston. But the funny thing is when I bashed Houston, I did it because I truly cared about the city, and Texas for that matter. I sincerely believed, and still believe, that Houston has a lot of potential. As for PHX, I feel nothing for it, literally nothing. It certainly isn't the worst place to live, but it certainly is nowhere near the best.
Getting back to the people aspect, in Houston I lived on the border of the Montrose, Heights, and River Oaks neighborhoods near downtown. These were very distinct neighborhoods filled with a cornucopia of different people. The rich, poor, middle class, students, gays, artists, musicians, blacks, whites, Asians, Hispanics, foreigners, all lived there, and all interacted with each other. The vast majority of people were warm and friendly. In my apartment complex alone, it was common to chat with my neighbors daily while our dogs ran around playing with each other. We also have fun things like the annual rodeo parade, and the art car show. Little did I know that I was living in utopia until I moved here.
Arriving here in Phoenix, I immediately got the feeling of isolation. Isolation both socially and geographically. For starters, the house we are renting was solely chosen by my partner, and I had never laid eyes on it until we moved in. The house basically looks like a gray cell block with a gravel yard both in the front and back. Sure, some would say that he picked a lousy house, but the fact is that many houses here look the same. In fact, everything here almost looks the same. The strip malls, the houses, the commercial buildings, and worst of all, everything is practically the same color, BROWN. Don't get me wrong here, I do realize that the idea is to blend in with the desert, but seriously folks, I think it is being taken just a little too far. What is so bad about having creativity in design and color schemes?
Anyway, getting back to the point. My neighbors here are extremely unfriendly. Not just with me, but with everyone else it seems. Nobody is ever outside their house unless they are going to work, or getting their mail. This is so vastly opposite of my life in Houston, and it is really sad. I guess since there are no lawns to mow, or grass for dogs to play in, the opportunity to meet one's neighbor is dramatically reduced.
As for meeting people at work, well I was very surprised to find out that everyone I work with is at least my parents age or just slightly younger. And to make matters worse my dept consists of just a handful of people. Again, this is just so vastly different from my life in Houston. And it is not to say that my little, older group, of coworkers are not nice people, because they certainly are, but other than work issues we do not have much to talk about. Hell, we cannot even talk about the weather, because there is not much to talk about.
Speaking of weather, I am an avid weather lover, and frankly the weather here is boring. After living in Houston, I can tell you folks the monsoon is nothing get excited about. I have seen far worse storms in Houston almost on a daily basis, which incidentally, made for some good conversation with others. And ironically, it is not the heat that bothers me here, it's the dryness. With the exception of right now, the dewpoint is just far too low for my comfort. Since moving here I have been "zapped" by everything metal I touch, and even while petting my dog! I am literally dreading the fall when the air completely dries again and that problem returns. Not to mention my skin, lips, and sinuses dry out as well. Now I do not have to have it as muggy as it is in Houston, and in fact, that got tedious at times, but to have a dewpoint of 7 is just as bad as 77 in my book. The only difference was my A/C would filter out the muggy air. Here, I would have to buy some kind of expensive whole house humidifier that would ultimately wind up competing with my A/C.
Also, I need to address crime here. Two months after we moved here we were burglarized. I have never been burglarized in my life. Sure, it happens everywhere, but the fact is it has never happened to me anywhere but here
To summarize my thoughts, yes, I agree that the people here do not seem very friendly overall, and also seem to lack that certain "spark". They also IMO, seem to be very into their own lives, more so than anywhere I have lived. And what is up with all the tattoos, piercings, and crotch rockets? Even the Hispanics here are vastly different here than in Texas. Many seem unfriendly here because they can barely speak a word of english. In Texas, most Hispanic people speak english, and even do so with a Texan accent. They also tend to be friendly, hardworking, and integrate well into society. My best friend from Texas is hispanic, and even he noticed the difference when visiting here.
Phoenix is brown and so are the buildings. Not golden brown like the rolling hillsides of California in the summer , just pain brown, or a beige shading. Painting buildings with the same drab color is equally uninspiring. Also very little originality in building design and neighborhoods.
Phoenix lacks any kind of real theme park, or awe inspiring water park. A Very odd thing for such a big and relatively isolated city with a mild climate.
Phoenix is a desert, and although I can take the heat, the excessive dryness is too much for me. Overall greenery is scarce, including trees and grass, and that happens to be important to me.
Phoenix does have a crime problem. I was a victim after only two months of living here. I am hoping to god that it was only an isolated incident, but the fact is I do not know my neighbors, nor do I have the cozy feeling of security that comes with that. Even if my neighbors saw the crime happening, I have the distinct feeling that they would not even bother reporting it.
Phoenix IMO does not have any real culture. It makes Houston feel like London in this respect.
Phoenix is isolated. I do not care how close you may claim Vegas, San Diego, and LA are, but the fact is they are at least 5 hours away, and that is not close for me. Tucson and Flagstaff do not count as "real" cities as far as I am concerned.
The fact is Phoenix I have tried to like it here, but the minuses outweigh the pluses. My personality, and the overall personality of this city, just do not fit the mold. This tends to make me cranky like I am now, which is never a good thing.
Please understand these are my personal feelings based on MY likes and experiences. Some will agree with me, and some will not. Is phoenix an absolutely horrible place to live, no. Is it a place where I personally feel comfortable and happy overall, no. Some will say, "If you don't like it, MOVE". Well, that is easier said than done, as any mature adult would understand. Ultimately I will move just as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
Unfortunately, I have to agree with the OP. I moved here a few months ago from Houston, and I have had an incredibly hard time making friends in this city.
Unlike some, I did not choose to move to this city. My partner's job in Houston was relocated here, so we did not have much of a choice in the matter. Also, his company did not give us much notice, so there was very little time for thought.
Although, he had been here quite a few times, I myself, had only been here once for literally a day and a half prior to moving. Just having been here that one time, I'll admit that I was not overly thrilled with PHX, and for some reason, I couldn't wait to get back home to Houston.
The funny thing is that I am not a native Houstonian, or a native Texan for that matter. And yes, I found many faults with Houston. But the funny thing is when I bashed Houston, I did it because I truly cared about the city, and Texas for that matter. I sincerely believed, and still believe, that Houston has a lot of potential. As for PHX, I feel nothing for it, literally nothing. It certainly isn't the worst place to live, but it certainly is nowhere near the best.
Getting back to the people aspect, in Houston I lived on the border of the Montrose, Heights, and River Oaks neighborhoods near downtown. These were very distinct neighborhoods filled with a cornucopia of different people. The rich, poor, middle class, students, gays, artists, musicians, blacks, whites, Asians, Hispanics, foreigners, all lived there, and all interacted with each other. The vast majority of people were warm and friendly. In my apartment complex alone, it was common to chat with my neighbors daily while our dogs ran around playing with each other. We also have fun things like the annual rodeo parade, and the art car show. Little did I know that I was living in utopia until I moved here.
Arriving here in Phoenix, I immediately got the feeling of isolation. Isolation both socially and geographically. For starters, the house we are renting was solely chosen by my partner, and I had never laid eyes on it until we moved in. The house basically looks like a gray cell block with a gravel yard both in the front and back. Sure, some would say that he picked a lousy house, but the fact is that many houses here look the same. In fact, everything here almost looks the same. The strip malls, the houses, the commercial buildings, and worst of all, everything is practically the same color, BROWN. Don't get me wrong here, I do realize that the idea is to blend in with the desert, but seriously folks, I think it is being taken just a little too far. What is so bad about having creativity in design and color schemes?
Anyway, getting back to the point. My neighbors here are extremely unfriendly. Not just with me, but with everyone else it seems. Nobody is ever outside their house unless they are going to work, or getting their mail. This is so vastly opposite of my life in Houston, and it is really sad. I guess since there are no lawns to mow, or grass for dogs to play in, the opportunity to meet one's neighbor is dramatically reduced.
As for meeting people at work, well I was very surprised to find out that everyone I work with is at least my parents age or just slightly younger. And to make matters worse my dept consists of just a handful of people. Again, this is just so vastly different from my life in Houston. And it is not to say that my little, older group, of coworkers are not nice people, because they certainly are, but other than work issues we do not have much to talk about. Hell, we cannot even talk about the weather, because there is not much to talk about.
Speaking of weather, I am an avid weather lover, and frankly the weather here is boring. After living in Houston, I can tell you folks the monsoon is nothing get excited about. I have seen far worse storms in Houston almost on a daily basis, which incidentally, made for some good conversation with others. And ironically, it is not the heat that bothers me here, it's the dryness. With the exception of right now, the dewpoint is just far too low for my comfort. Since moving here I have been "zapped" by everything metal I touch, and even while petting my dog! I am literally dreading the fall when the air completely dries again and that problem returns. Not to mention my skin, lips, and sinuses dry out as well. Now I do not have to have it as muggy as it is in Houston, and in fact, that got tedious at times, but to have a dewpoint of 7 is just as bad as 77 in my book. The only difference was my A/C would filter out the muggy air. Here, I would have to buy some kind of expensive whole house humidifier that would ultimately wind up competing with my A/C.
Also, I need to address crime here. Two months after we moved here we were burglarized. I have never been burglarized in my life. Sure, it happens everywhere, but the fact is it has never happened to me anywhere but here
To summarize my thoughts, yes, I agree that the people here do not seem very friendly overall, and also seem to lack that certain "spark". They also IMO, seem to be very into their own lives, more so than anywhere I have lived. And what is up with all the tattoos, piercings, and crotch rockets? Even the Hispanics here are vastly different here than in Texas. Many seem unfriendly here because they can barely speak a word of english. In Texas, most Hispanic people speak english, and even do so with a Texan accent. They also tend to be friendly, hardworking, and integrate well into society. My best friend from Texas is hispanic, and even he noticed the difference when visiting here.
Phoenix is brown and so are the buildings. Not golden brown like the rolling hillsides of California in the summer , just pain brown, or a beige shading. Painting buildings with the same drab color is equally uninspiring. Also very little originality in building design and neighborhoods.
Phoenix lacks any kind of real theme park, or awe inspiring water park. A Very odd thing for such a big and relatively isolated city with a mild climate.
Phoenix is a desert, and although I can take the heat, the excessive dryness is too much for me. Overall greenery is scarce, including trees and grass, and that happens to be important to me.
Phoenix does have a crime problem. I was a victim after only two months of living here. I am hoping to god that it was only an isolated incident, but the fact is I do not know my neighbors, nor do I have the cozy feeling of security that comes with that. Even if my neighbors saw the crime happening, I have the distinct feeling that they would not even bother reporting it.
Phoenix IMO does not have any real culture. It makes Houston feel like London in this respect.
Phoenix is isolated. I do not care how close you may claim Vegas, San Diego, and LA are, but the fact is they are at least 5 hours away, and that is not close for me. Tucson and Flagstaff do not count as "real" cities as far as I am concerned.
The fact is Phoenix I have tried to like it here, but the minuses outweigh the pluses. My personality, and the overall personality of this city, just do not fit the mold. This tends to make me cranky like I am now, which is never a good thing.
Please understand these are my personal feelings based on MY likes and experiences. Some will agree with me, and some will not. Is phoenix an absolutely horrible place to live, no. Is it a place where I personally feel comfortable and happy overall, no. Some will say, "If you don't like it, MOVE". Well, that is easier said than done, as any mature adult would understand. Ultimately I will move just as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
LOL! All the hispanics in Phoenix only speak Spanish. Despite the novel you wrote, that one statement made the rest of your monologue seem trivial and highly exagerated. Bottom line is that you may not like Phoenix but plenty do. I am assuming you live in a far flung suburb of Phoenix which would be boring. Have you been to the gay neighborhoods of Phoenix, the historic districts (Coronado Historic Neighborhood is one of the largest WEST of the Mississippi...that includes Houston). I took a little offense to your Hispanics only speak spanish in Phoenix comment so I'll just stop now.
For a long time now I haven't been able to really connect with anyone here.
Thoughts?
Isn't that how it is in America? No one really cares for others, no one gives the time for anyone else, but themselves? They throw money at problems and don't care beyond that?
To the other users, i've lived in America my entire life, currently 26, and when people outside of your country, say what you feel, it's a little more then coincidence.
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Whatever dude.....I'm passionate about things and I have lived in Phoenix for 29 years. Was this post really necessary?
