Need good divorce lawyer (how much, income, standard of living)

[Neo-Westerner]

I'll be making calls to a couple of lawyers this week. Thanks for the great advice and the kind thoughts.

[Chelito23]

I work in the courts (I'm not a lawyer, and am not giving legal advise, just sharing my opinions from what I have observed as a lay person) and have observed many Non-Jury Divorce Trials as well as peitions to establish spousal support. MANY litigants do not have attorneys and when they do, it just draws everything out and the outcome is rarely different. If what you wrote is correct OP, get the documentation to back it up. If you have proof of what you wrote here, you will be awarded a fair Spousal Sppt judgement. Spousal maintanence is meant to help people in your situation-there are many in it as well-and it isn't meant to be permanent. Show good faith, present a plan to become self-sufficient (enrolling in training programs, what their costs and duration are, what expenses will be in the meantime above and beyond what a minimim wage job pays).

I don't know what your finances are like, but if you can afford an attorney and you think that will buy you peace of mind, go for it. Otherwise, don't stretch yourself financially because it really isn't necessary, assuming you have documentation for you disability issues. If you don't have anything to prove what you wrote, the court will most likely aware you a lower amount for a shorter period of time.

Another word of advice, AZ is a no-fault divocrce state...so if your spouse was unfaithful, it will be irrelevant to the judge granting the decree. Don't use that as justification for a higher amount. I also wanted to mention, you can attempt to come to an agreement before you go before the judge and agree on certain issues aongst yourselves...and let the judge sign off on it or just address unresolved or in dispute issues.

Whatever amount and duration you feel you are entitled to regarding the support, have documentation proving why you need that amount. Be prepared for the opposing part to argue to have mínimum wage attributed to you...(regarding amount) and for a year or two. Many times people counter that argument depening on their exact financal situation, debt, property, etc. A lot will depend on how you two decide to divide community property and debt. But again, if one party wants a divorce, it is happening...it is just a matter of time and formality...so start thinking ahead and negotiate what you want and see what the sticking points are in order to specifically address them to the court. Good luck and remember, it's better for you two to decide how to divy things up as much as possible beforehand over a "stranger" influenced by two other paid "strangers."

[Neo-Westerner]

Chelito,

Thank you very much for the info about what really goes on in the court. I do have plenty of documentation, so there's that at least.

[Steve Pickering]

That is why I said to file before he does. It puts the load on him. If it's going to happen anyway, do it first.

[Ponderosa]

If you haven't already, check out the court's website which is very informative:

Family Court - PreDecree Frequently Asked Questions

[Neo-Westerner]

Ponderosa -- I checked out that site. Wow, lots of info, thanks. Steve Pickering, I'm sorry to be so dense, but I don't understand what you mean when you say "it puts the load on him" if I rush to beat my husband to filing. I don't want to be divorced; it is really going to create a hardship for me and my children. So why would I file for one? No attitude here, I really am just very puzzled.

[PhureeKeeper]

Originally Posted by Neo-Westerner

...I don't want to be divorced; .....

My sympathies to you. Been there, done that.

If you file first, you are filing the complaint, which he would have to answer.

[LBTRS]

Originally Posted by PhureeKeeper

My sympathies to you. Been there, done that.

If you file first, you are filing the complaint, which he would have to answer.

That is why the file first doesn't make sense to me. If the OP doesn't want a divorce as she has stated then I don't know how she can be the one requesting the divorce.

Doesn't seem like a valid reason or justification for a divorce by someone that doesn't want the divorce in the first place would be "just to beat him to it but I don't actually want a divorce".

I've never went through a divorce but I don't think I'd file for divorce if I actually didn't want a divorce in the first place. Seems to me she would be better served in any settlements in court if she is being divorced and doesn't actually want the divorce but maybe I'm all wrong.

[Steve Pickering]

Originally Posted by Neo-Westerner

Ponderosa -- I checked out that site. Wow, lots of info, thanks. Steve Pickering, I'm sorry to be so dense, but I don't understand what you mean when you say "it puts the load on him" if I rush to beat my husband to filing. I don't want to be divorced; it is really going to create a hardship for me and my children. So why would I file for one? No attitude here, I really am just very puzzled.

Never EVER stay in a relationship because of "The Bread Winner". If that is all you have, get out and get a life of your own. He must support the kids and in your case , you also.

By filing first he has to play catch up. He can't file separately. You file and state what is fair (your half) and he must then show why it isn't. Otherwise you will have the burden of fighting what he asks for. He is going to get the divorce whether you want it or not, so force him to get it on your reasonable terms. Get it into your head. The marriage is over. Now you must get what is best (and fair) for yourself.

If he is just a meal ticket, let it go..........


I don't play an attorney on TV, but I have been divorced in Arizona three times.

[Steve Pickering]

Originally Posted by LBTRS

That is why the file first doesn't make sense to me. If the OP doesn't want a divorce as she has stated then I don't know how she can be the one requesting the divorce.

Doesn't seem like a valid reason or justification for a divorce by someone that doesn't want the divorce in the first place would be "just to beat him to it but I don't actually want a divorce".

I've never went through a divorce but I don't think I'd file for divorce if I actually didn't want a divorce in the first place. Seems to me she would be better served in any settlements in court if she is being divorced and doesn't actually want the divorce but maybe I'm all wrong.

Wanting has nothing to do with it. It is a reality. Arizona is no fault. You can't place blame on either party.

The only thing the court cares about is 1. The kids, and 2. The division of property. Coming in third is spousal support if the incomes were not even. The one with no income will be taken care of "In the manner to which they have become accustomed".