Chandler Dating for Late 30s Female

[RJ312]

Originally Posted by Flavia84

The slight problem is that most desirable college age women have plenty of choices and not exactly interested in dating 30+ year old men

I'm past the college age but I can't tell you how many messages I get from men who are 10 years + older. It's hilarious. It may have worked in the past, but these days majority of women are financially independent and don't need a "daddy" to carry them through life. Plus, women generally have plenty of choices within their age range.

There are no faults with anything you said and it does overlap what I said. If a guy 30+ can get a college aged woman to have an either short term casual sex or a medium to long term relationship, he's happy because despite her unlimited choice, she chose him!

You talk about getting messages from behind a screen. That's not swipe apps then because 2 people have to each right swipe to message, and I'm sensing you are not right swiping on guys 10+ years older. Regardless, what happens behind an electronic screen isn't always indicative of real life. What's going on in real life?

I agree that in the current environment that most women don't place as much of a value on money because they can either earn their own money or there's a large welfare state in place to ensure her needs are met. Either way, she's covered. It is more the former than the latter.

There is a sugar daddy website that gets a lot of publicity and Arizona State had the most sugar babies of any school in the United States. I'm not sure what to make of that since Arizona State is such a large school. If a legitimate comparison is to be made, one would need to see percentage of female undergraduates who are sugar babies. Not sure which school would rank #1 in that.

Younger females generally have unlimited choices due to a large surplus of single men relative to single women. Metro Phoenix has a surplus large than many areas in the 18-34 age bracket.

[teeej]

Originally Posted by Flavia84

The slight problem is that most desirable college age women have plenty of choices and not exactly interested in dating 30+ year old men

I'm past the college age but I can't tell you how many messages I get from men who are 10 years + older. It's hilarious. It may have worked in the past, but these days majority of women are financially independent and don't need a "daddy" to carry them through life. Plus, women generally have plenty of choices within their age range.

I feel like 18-23 year old college students are likely to have massive student loan debt (or are spoiled and have high financial expectations?) I can't imagine dating someone that much younger personally.

There are no faults with anything you said and it does overlap what I said. If a guy 30+ can get a college aged woman to have an either short term casual sex or a medium to long term relationship, he's happy because despite her unlimited choice, she chose him!

I'm personally only interested in a long term relationship.

[Flavia84]

Originally Posted by RJ312

There are no faults with anything you said and it does overlap what I said. If a guy 30+ can get a college aged woman to have an either short term casual sex or a medium to long term relationship, he's happy because despite her unlimited choice, she chose him!

You talk about getting messages from behind a screen. That's not swipe apps then because 2 people have to each right swipe to message, and I'm sensing you are not right swiping on guys 10+ years older. Regardless, what happens behind an electronic screen isn't always indicative of real life. What's going on in real life?

I agree that in the current environment that most women don't place as much of a value on money because they can either earn their own money or there's a large welfare state in place to ensure her needs are met. Either way, she's covered. It is more the former than the latter.

There is a sugar daddy website that gets a lot of publicity and Arizona State had the most sugar babies of any school in the United States. I'm not sure what to make of that since Arizona State is such a large school. If a legitimate comparison is to be made, one would need to see percentage of female undergraduates who are sugar babies. Not sure which school would rank #1 in that.

Younger females generally have unlimited choices due to a large surplus of single men relative to single women. Metro Phoenix has a surplus large than many areas in the 18-34 age bracket.

There are websites where you don't get to control who messages you, and about half of the messages come from men who are old enough to be my father. Hey, can't blame a guy for trying!

I gotta say that older men have a much better "game" than the younger folks. Maybe it's a generational thing, but older men are not afraid to be generous with compliments

[madison999]

Originally Posted by Flavia84

The slight problem is that most desirable college age women have plenty of choices and not exactly interested in dating 30+ year old men

I'm past the college age but I can't tell you how many messages I get from men who are 10 years + older. It's hilarious. It may have worked in the past, but these days majority of women are financially independent and don't need a "daddy" to carry them through life. Plus, women generally have plenty of choices within their age range.

Go on a dating app and search as if you were a man. It's nothing but 18-22 year old sluts looking for daddies.

[Flavia84]

Originally Posted by madison999

Go on a dating app and search as if you were a man. It's nothing but 18-22 year old sluts looking for daddies.

We're talking about desirable, secure women here.

[grad_student200]

Originally Posted by Flavia84

Moving from LA to Phoenix for the sake of dating would be a losing proposition. You'd be leaving a larger pool of candidates for a smaller, more bro'ey, less educated one. Similar attitudes that you dislike about LA social scene, prevail here as well. Your age, you'll be running into less starving artists and more blue-collar, divorced with kids, pool party or hiker type guys. In LA you'll have to pick your way through a lot of flakiness but you can still find some childfree eligible professionals who've been putting marriage on hold as they were pursuing their careers. In Phoenix, I'm noticing a lot of men in their late 30's - early 40's are getting out of marriages burdened with mama drama and hefty alimonies, or types for whom commitment is not the end goal altogether. If I were you, I'd consider the Bay Area, San Diego or Seattle over Phoenix. Or stay in LA.
I know a lot of professional, beautiful, smart and sweet women in Arizona who are single and can't seem to find a decent guy who'd have something tangible to bring to the table AND wanted a long-term commitment. It's either one or the other, or neither

It depends on how you look at it. The high divorce rate is often rooted in financial difficulties. LA has a ridiculously high cost of living. So, a move to AZ would statistically lower the probability of divorce (in theory). But there are other factors to consider. Chandler is a great location for jobs. I lived there for over a year and had excellent work options. Many jobs are located close to homes. My commute was only about 5 minutes with one stoplight. I didn't even have to get on a freeway.

In terms of dating, Chandler is probably more difficult for a late 30s woman because a guy that age (early to late 30s) would have a huge amount of choices of young women from nearby Tempe or at Chandler. These are recent college graduates in their early to mid 20s. Men tend to go for younger women if given the chance, so the odds are not in your favor in Chandler. There are many exceptions to that, but the aggregate pattern is there.

In your case, Denver would seem to be a much better choice. It is also known as "Menver" because of the high ratio of single, professional men to single women. Men from LA who move to Denver often complain about how dating was much easier in LA. By contrast, the converse occurs for women. A move to Denver would significantly elevate the odds of success - even for a woman in her late 30s. Denver and Boulder have a huge population of successful engineers or IT workers who struggle in finding dates due to the fact that they greatly outnumber the women. This guy from Boulder's post says it all.
https://www.loveshack.org/forums/tra...y-dating-scene

Meanwhile, back over at Chandler you have to compete with the "Tempe12" type of calendar bikini girls who hang around the pool - local college students or recent graduates who are placed on that high pedestal of youthful beauty. College towns can be harsh for middle-aged women trying to enter the dating scene. Places like Tallahassee or Tuscaloosa (southern girls) come to mind due to the sociological dating emphasis on young women. By contrast, "Menver" would seem to be a better choice to puts the odds in your favor.

Other options include "San Diego" or "Man Diego" or Seattle or Silicon Valley. Those places have more professional single men than women by far. Dating is a numbers game with location. Just choose a place where the odds are in your favor.

[RJ312]

Originally Posted by grad_student200

Other options include "San Diego" or "Man Diego" or Seattle or Silicon Valley. Those places have more professional single men than women by far. Dating is a numbers game with location. Just choose a place where the odds are in your favor.

Almost every major metropolitan area has a surplus of single men relative to single women up until one's 40s. OP has been in Los Angeles, with an epic male surplus, and still not satisfied with the state of her relationship life. Moving to Denver/Menver doesn't offer a better ratio. Neither does moving to Metro Phoenix. I highly doubt that moving will solve her dating issues. There's probably some degree of personal work she needs to do. She could move from Los Angeles to Phoenix for work related reasons, but she won't get a better dating pool. The male surplus is about equal in both cities.

If she moves to Metro Phoenix, there are better locations than Chandler.