Dear Downtown Pigeon... (college, restaurants, yard)

[BigTuna]

Dear Pigeon,

Your incredibly brazen acts of bravado have provoked me into writing this. I have worked in the quasi-bussling streets of Downtown pittsburgh for well over a year now, and do you know what is most interesting to me? Even moreso than why there are throngs of people who simply "hang out" all day in Market Square seemingly without a care in the world? And why they find it utterly necessary and suprisingly acceptable to trumpet their inappropriate banter at deafening levels to individuals who are sixty yards away from them?

That's right...YOU pigeon, You. As you strut around with your akward drunken stagger thinking that you own the place. My 185 pound body is walking directly behind you, actually WAITING for you to veer your obese, mini-chicken, "whoooooodlldldldldldin" fixture out of my path. "whoooodlldldlddllle!" "whoodldldldldldllele" WHOOOOODLDLDLDLDLE!!!" Now....please bear in mind that I am nearly 100 x's your size and often hurried and over stressed. Your time is running short my friend.

You are going to refuse to give up a sidewalk-ingrained bread snippet that happens to be in my path on THE wrong day. And as a result I will personally introduce you to the gift of flight without seemingly any effort on your part whatsoever. Although that may sound like a rather pleasant experience....it will not be. You will feel severe pain and tremendous G-force as you are jettisoned through PPG plaza. Not to mention the utter regret you will have for not yielding to the stressed out busness-suit cladded giant who is ambling towards you with god speed under his heels. He had no intention of waiting this time. And don't act like you don't know what you're doing!!! I see right through your coy games.

So, with that being said. I do not hold myself liable when the site of pigeons unwillingly soaring across Market Square is beheld by the numerous "day-residents" who reside there and befriend them, the tourists on the Just Ducky tour motoring by taking pictures of me like I am an eight foot tall Minotaur doing the Charleston, the pretentious hungover college graduate who will be fired in 6 mths for incompetence, or the over-wealthed Regional Manager plotting his/her next wave of cutbacks. This is my warning. Know your role Pigeon. I apologize for the outburst.

[londonbarcelona]

Originally Posted by BigTuna

Dear Pigeon,

Your incredibly brazen acts of bravado have provoked me into writing this. I have worked in the quasi-bussling streets of Downtown pittsburgh for well over a year now, and do you know what is most interesting to me? Even moreso than why there are throngs of people who simply "hang out" all day in Market Square seemingly without a care in the world? And why they find it utterly necessary and suprisingly acceptable to trumpet their inappropriate banter at deafening levels to individuals who are sixty yards away from them?

That's right...YOU pigeon, You. As you strut around with your akward drunken stagger thinking that you own the place. My 185 pound body is walking directly behind you, actually WAITING for you to veer your obese, mini-chicken, "whoooooodlldldldldldin" fixture out of my path. "whoooodlldldlddllle!" "whoodldldldldldllele" WHOOOOODLDLDLDLDLE!!!" Now....please bear in mind that I am nearly 100 x's your size and often hurried and over stressed. Your time is running short my friend.

You are going to refuse to give up a sidewalk-ingrained bread snippet that happens to be in my path on THE wrong day. And as a result I will personally introduce you to the gift of flight without seemingly any effort on your part whatsoever. Although that may sound like a rather pleasant experience....it will not be. You will feel severe pain and tremendous G-force as you are jettisoned through PPG plaza. Not to mention the utter regret you will have for not yielding to the stressed out busness-suit cladded giant who is ambling towards you with god speed under his heels. He had no intention of waiting this time. And don't act like you don't know what you're doing!!! I see right through your coy games.

So, with that being said. I do not hold myself liable when the site of pigeons unwillingly soaring across Market Square is beheld by the numerous "day-residents" who reside there and befriend them, the tourists on the Just Ducky tour motoring by taking pictures of me like I am an eight foot tall Minotaur doing the Charleston, the pretentious hungover college graduate who will be fired in 6 mths for incompetence, or the over-wealthed Regional Manager plotting his/her next wave of cutbacks. This is my warning. Know your role Pigeon. I apologize for the outburst.

Lord I hope so! *smile* I like to refer to pigeons as "rats with wings."

[gallacus]

Believe it or not, there's a woman on the Southside who wanders around to all the different restaurants in town, and makes it her life mission to beg the restaurants for their scraps so she can roam around the city and dump it in all the nice parklets to make sure the pigeons are always fed well! She told me all about it one day... also told me all about how dogs are actually God, and then she proceeded to bow down to my dog and worship him. True story.

[NYSTYLE]

O Kaaaaaaaaaayyyy

[fleetiebelle]

Do you read PittGirl at all? Because you sound like you were made for each other: The Burgh Blog » PittGirl gets hate mail.

[BVH]

Thank you for the laughs! lol this is good stuff! By the way, vagrants and degenerates have been hanging out in Market Square for at least the last 10 years now..

[BigTuna]

Originally Posted by BVH

Thank you for the laughs! lol this is good stuff! By the way, vagrants and degenerates have been hanging out in Market Square for at least the last 10 years now..

haha, I'm glad someone thought it was funny! I had a bad day!

[BigTuna]

Originally Posted by londonbarcelona

Lord I hope so! *smile* I like to refer to pigeons as "rats with wings."

haha of course I wouldn't kick a pigeon... In plain view of the public. I was just joking around..