Winners of the global mid-terms (Ron Paul, Congress, Iran, Iraq)

[TnHilltopper]

Top honors, Osama Bin Laden, who after 10 years has managed to bring American society to its knees. After having spent a relatively tiny amount of money, the US has been lured into two foreign wars which have served to bleed its treasury and its blood in desert sands. Mr. Bin Laden remains at large and serves as the global Freddy Kruger to further justify trillions of dollars of military expenditures.

Another winner, the Taliban. This laughable rag tag group of backwater Muslim hillbillies once funded and now funded again by the US tax payer, first to oust the former Soviet Union out of Afghanistan and now they are using this experience, training and fresh influx of US dollars to fight, well us. Not too bad when you consider they have thwarted the world's largest superpower and continue to frustrate those silly colonial adventures.

Iran made this years list as well. After all the saber rattling and rhetoric from the frothing at the mouth lusters for war, Iran remains committed to its nuclear program, is in the process of finishing the expansion of its gasoline refining capacity making a number of the current sanctions worthless. It has since procured more anti-ship and anti-aircraft missiles of high quality, and now has possession of a computer virus that can attack controls systems in nuclear power plants, chemical refineries and heavy industrial plants. To ice the cake, the loudest mouth in the Mideast, Ahmadinejad is waving at you while he thanks Brazil and Turkey, our other allies.

Muqtada al-Sadr turned out to be this cycles surprise winner. He is the heart warming Shiite cleric with close ties to Iran and the majority population of Iraq. Sadr it has been said, was filling the benches left by the British as they pulled out of southern Iraq so fast the seats were still warm. Sadr has defacto control of one of the largest regions of Iraq and no longer has to hide the trucks full of cash that run between Tehran and Baghdad. Keep a close eye on this rising star in the Middle East, because there may come a day he becomes President, on a message of hope and change.


The biggest loser this global election cycle is the economy. Stick fork in it, pull your belts tight and consider picking up an extra box of ammo. It seems that things are unlike to improve a great deal for the folks on Main-street for at least two years. So those of you already looking down both barrels, consider moving to Afghanistan, as the Taliban needs translators and money counters.

Another big loser this cycle are the civilian populations of Afghanistan and Pakistan. Oh well, who gives a damn about a bunch of brown skin people who never watched an episode of Andy Griffith anyway. They always lose and babies are cheap to make.

Another big loser closer to home, are the US service men and women who actually got out and fought our current wars so most Americans could watch their economy melt down around them and the pro-war keyboard warriors play rambo on the internet. Sadly, by the time most of these folks return home, there may not be much money left to treat their physical and mental wounds, but they might find comfort under bridges and in cardboard boxes with a bunch of other lower and middle class Americans who are poor because they are lazy.

So stay tuned as we update our global election coverage, hopefully we can add some graphics, catchy tunes and shiny object to hold your attention for more than 25 seconds.

[TnHilltopper]

I nearly forgot two other late results.

Israel, that tiny nation the size of New Jersey to whom we send our complaints to on the back of a foreign aid check. Well since the day the current US administration took office, we saw the true resolve and toughness of this small country. Every single thing that the US administration has requested of Israel, in turn the Israeli government has told Obama, "boy" go fetch your shine box, and strangely enough, President Obama has done so each time he was told. We cannot deny Israel's ability to train a US President, as Siegfried & Roy couldn't have done a better job training, and lets face it, Obama is a very obedient fella.


The last winner of the global election season goes to some local folks. Ah you guessed it, the Tea Party. From its grassroots origins as a money bomb for then fringe Presidential candidate and anti-empire advocate, Ron Paul. From these humble beginnings big things happened and once corporate America decided to co-opt the underlying rage that was seething in America, it knew right away it had a winner. Like a tsunami cresting over the second floor balcony of a third rate Mexican flea bag hotel, the Tea Party has taken on a life of its own. A bane to Democrats and a worry for establishment Republicans who are wondering if they can get the monster back on a chain.

[TnHilltopper]

Can't forget Harmid Karzai, our man in Kabul, come on down and see what you won in the 2010 giveaway extravaganza! Why its bags of money, some from the United States, some from Iran, both to be used to grease the members of your own government sympathetic to the Taliban. Not to mention the insane practice where by Americans give so much in tax dollars they can't even account for it to people who will eventually use it to buy the very weapons that are gunning down our own service men.

One of this years biggest winners no one noticed, the Offense Industry, as just recently the United States Congress got together for a love fest and rubber stamped 725+ BILLION dollars to those lovable and adorable folks who get filthy rich on the slaughter of human beings by using your tax dollars. With their icy cold hands getting warm in the pockets of every member of Congress you can bet your bottom that they will be in the running for the next election cycle winning bonanza.

We would have included Wall Street in this cycles big winner list but oddly enough, they are in every cycles big winner list and this year, they didn't get everything they wanted, which is rare as they nearly got most everything they wanted. Better luck next time boys, better start lobbying now.