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I will say this (the rest is too stupid to respond to)--the reason why most domestic violence shelters don't shelter men in-house is budgetary and demand. The vast majority of their shelter clients are female (99.999999%), and adding facilities onsite for men would be very pricey. Right now many DV Shelters live hand to mouth between government grants through the Violence Against Women Act, and local community fundraising.
The other factor is why people go to domestic violence shelters to begin with. In extremely dangerous cases, it can be because it's safe, but many shelters have open locations which kind of negates that whole concept. If you have financial resources, most women don't move themselves and their kids into a shelter either. Why would you--you're usually living with an entire family crammed into a room, sometimes sharing that room with another family. They go there because they leave with nothing, and they have no place else to go to transition out of the abusive home.
That's why shelters with more resources often DO offer some hotel stay arrangements for men in abusive relationships, but that again may depend on available funding. Since most men WORK, they have more resources to leave and live independently. In all the years I was on the board of the program I volunteered with, they had two men seek shelter services, and both were gay. Men still have the full range of counseling and advocacy services available to them. If the OP called a local shelter and was told that abused men were ineligible for counseling and advocacy, then call back and talk to the Executive Director, because you may have talked to a volunteer who made a mistake. The truth is that men are victims of domestic violence in smaller proportions in heterosexual relationships because they usually have the resources to leave long before it becomes a dire situation. I'm not downplaying situations where it does happen--just saying that it's not an every day (or even remotely common) thing for a male to need shelter housing for DV.
I will say this (the rest is too stupid to respond to)--the reason why most domestic violence shelters don't shelter men in-house is budgetary and demand. The vast majority of their shelter clients are female (99.999999%), and adding facilities onsite for men would be very pricey. Right now many DV Shelters live hand to mouth between government grants through the Violence Against Women Act, and local community fundraising.
The other factor is why people go to domestic violence shelters to begin with. In extremely dangerous cases, it can be because it's safe, but many shelters have open locations which kind of negates that whole concept. If you have financial resources, most women don't move themselves and their kids into a shelter either. Why would you--you're usually living with an entire family crammed into a room, sometimes sharing that room with another family. They go there because they leave with nothing, and they have no place else to go to transition out of the abusive home.
That's why shelters with more resources often DO offer some hotel stay arrangements for men in abusive relationships, but that again may depend on available funding. Since most men WORK, they have more resources to leave and live independently. In all the years I was on the board of the program I volunteered with, they had two men seek shelter services, and both were gay. Men still have the full range of counseling and advocacy services available to them. If the OP called a local shelter and was told that abused men were ineligible for counseling and advocacy, then call back and talk to the Executive Director, because you may have talked to a volunteer who made a mistake. The truth is that men are victims of domestic violence in smaller proportions because they usually have the resources to leave long before it becomes a dire situation. I'm not downplaying situations where it does happen--just saying that it's not an every day (or even remotely common) thing for a male to need shelter housing.
And, males are usually present in domestic violence shelters, in that children are often there, and that includes both boys and girls.
Someone just told me you think this is a legitimate list of "men's rights issues, so I'll insert some comments.
Quote:
Originally Posted by raison_d'etre
This equal rights advocate has a branch for men's rights, they are protested by feminist groups all the time.
Common men's rights issues
- Men are expected to be the providers and protectors of society.
Feminists agree that women should be paid on an equal footing with men, which would relieve men of the perceived need to be the "providers and protectors".
- On TV men are often seen as incompetent, misogynistic, brutish slobs with few redeeming qualities.
I've never heard of a feminist who opposes equal portrayal of men and women in the media.
- Men are forced to sign up for selective service while women do not.
Feminists are in favor of equal opportunity in the military, and most are opposed to selective service registration altogether. I don't think you'd get much opposition from feminists if you were to propose to either eliminate selective service registration or make it mandatory for men and women. I do think you would get a lot of opposition from conservative men.
- Male genital mutilation is still considered ok and even medically necessary when it is not.
Okay, you're right, I just can't take this seriously, but there seems to be no shortage of kooks who do.
- Men are often denied parental rights simply for being a man.
Now you're just making stuff up.
- Men who are falsely accused of rape of domestic violence face ire even after proven innocent or a false accusation has been discovered. Little to no punishment is served by false accusers.
You would have a hard time finding a feminst who is in favor of false rape accusations.
- Men are sexually abused almost as often as women, domestic violence is also almost just as likely to happen to men as it is women, yet nobody talks about men being abused or sexually assaulted.
I doubt your claims, but nobody is preventing you or anyone else from talking about violence or sexual abuse against men.
- There are no safe places or resources available for men in abusive relationships.
Evidence, please?
- When a man chooses not to be involved from the start, he’s considered a deadbeat, yet when a woman chooses to give a child up for adoption or not be involved, it is completely acceptable. (This has nothing to do with abortion)
Not comparable situations.
- Men get more severe punishments when charged for crimes.
Evidence?
- Men are taught to hide their emotion and act like a man (strong, without pain). This often causes depression in men to go undiagnosed.
Actually, since at least the 1960's feminists have opposed rigid sex roles for both men and women.
Feminists often argue that they are working on all these issues. But all I ever hear about is abortion, birth control, equal pay for women, teach men not to rape, and women should be able to walk around naked.
If rights such as abortion, contraception, equal pay, and freedom from sexual violence were not constantly under attack then you wouldn't hear as much about them.
I never hear feminists demanding government sponsored centers for abused men. I never hear about feminist wanting to end male genital mutilation, ending selective service or making women do it as well, you never hear about justice for men who are falsly accused of rape or abuse.
Nobody's stopping you from working on any of these issues. Feminists are not attacking you for demanding them if you want to.
You need to understand, though, that these really are fringe issues, and no matter what you would like, you're going to have a hard time getting anyone, male or female, to line up behind you.
Before you start complaining about how the evil, scary feminists are preventing you from getting all these rights you want to get, maybe you should think about why there aren't even any significant number of men who are agitating for them. Like maybe they're not real issues.
What I hear from the so-called men's rights groups are attacks on child support, demands to change how custody is allocated or for mandatory joint custody, attacks on spousal support, and attacks on protections for victims of domestic violence. Those aren't issues of giving rights to men, they are issues of taking away rights from women. As a feminist I'm not going to support you on those issues.
And, males are usually present in domestic violence shelters, in that children are often there, and that includes both boys and girls.
Absolutely. In fact, 2/3 of the people in DV shelters are often children there with their mother. I was referring to adult males earlier--male children are sheltered all the time.
What are the men's rights issues that they're trying to advocate for?
Honestly--when I've met people who say they're involved in the men's rights movement, it's usually because they have supervised visitation with their kids because they have a history of domestic violence or child abuse (usually with multiple partners if it's spousal abuse, and always with accompanying medical records and police reports for those incidents--with the kids or with her--if they're having visitation issues) but they claim they've been framed by a number of evil conniving women. Uh huh...
If there's more to it to then that, I'll listen.
Thank you, I'm stunned that there's a poster here on C-D who has a modicum of understanding of this.
There are men's rights groups, and there are abusers' rights groups calling themselves "men's rights groups."
The latter spend their time and money lobbying the judicial system to recognize "Parental Alienation Syndrome," a false syndrome manufactured by the late, discredited Richard Gardner. There are many references to Gardner, but Wiki is the quickest and easiest. Richard A. Gardner - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
These abusers' rights groups have succeeded in this quest so well that entire judicial departments around the country have been persuaded. This is why there are thousands of cases out there of abused mothers being jailed and children being forced to live with an abusive father. I once posted dozens of examples, but I was jeered and mocked, and I don't feel like going through that again.
I'm haven't read this entire thread, but I'm sure there are already plenty of vile posts about feminism and women pretending to be abused. People who post these things have no knowledge or understanding of this issue whatsoever outside was Rush tells them.
On the other hand, I've been there myself, I know hundreds of women who have been there, and I've spent years studying the issue for my own understanding. Those of you who think women are exaggerating or making it all up are simply dirt under my feet.
Thank you, I'm stunned that there's a poster here on C-D who has a modicum of understanding of this.
There are men's rights groups, and there are abusers' rights groups calling themselves "men's rights groups."
The latter spend their time and money lobbying the judicial system to recognize "Parental Alienation Syndrome," a false syndrome manufactured by the late, discredited Richard Gardner. There are many references to Gardner, but Wiki is the quickest and easiest. Richard A. Gardner - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
These abusers' rights groups have succeeded in this quest so well that entire judicial departments around the country have been persuaded. This is why there are thousands of cases out there of abused mothers being jailed and children being forced to live with an abusive father. I once posted dozens of examples, but I was jeered and mocked, and I don't feel like going through that again.
I'm haven't read this entire thread, but I'm sure there are already plenty of vile posts about feminism and women pretending to be abused. People who post these things have no knowledge or understanding of this issue whatsoever outside was Rush tells them.
On the other hand, I've been there myself, I know hundreds of women who have been there, and I've spent years studying the issue for my own understanding. Those of you who think women are exaggerating or making it all up are simply dirt under my feet.
If the mental health community and the DV and SA advocacy organizations do a good job of training and working with local law enforcement, child protective services and the judicial system, you see less of that kind of nuttiness. When they don't or can't (lack of resources, lack of people power) then unfortunately it happens. I'm sorry you went through that. I'm hoping that things are getting better as people have more information.
Because men's rights groups are like rich people's rights group - like antennae on a person, like a third arm, like wearing clown shoes to work, like serving a fork with soup. In other words, unnecessary, irrelevant, ridiculous, stupid, and idiotic. Aside from that, they're cool!
Oh, so the society's idea that men are disposable and terrible fathers and caretakers is no big deal. Men being sexually assaulted, falsely accused, and victims of domestic violence are no big deal. They don't deserve to be talked about?
I agree with this. It's kind of hard to find data supporting the idea that men are oppressed when they still dominate boardrooms, academia, government (80 % of the seats in Congress), and have higher incomes. I mean, what would a man be lobbying for, even more representation in powerful positions?
And oops, in today's headlines:
Nearly 100 Percent Of American Women In Jobs That Typically Pay Men More: Analysis
"Of the 534 professions listed by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, women on average earn more than men in only seven of them." Female CEOs for example, make 69% of what their male counterparts make.
I want equality in the workplace, I also want equality when it comes to the value put on a person's life, men are seen as disposable. What's more important, the value of a person's life or the value of a person's paycheck?
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Uh huh...
