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i think your post is good, and a overall a fairly accurate depiction of men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
- The pressure to pretend all their emotional needs are really a need for sex. Touch, closeness, emotional intimacy, being understood
- The pressure to be extremely sexual all the time. I remember the bitterness in a male friend's voice one time, when I asked him why he hadn't said no in a situation he was complaining about: 'Men can't say no to sex'. Like it wasn't allowed. Or the way men don't let each other, or themselves, heal from a broken heart, but instead put on the pressure to 'get back out there' within, like, a week.
these two don't make sense, though
there may be some segment of highly emotional men who feel some kind of peer pressure from other men to be more sexual ... like a teenager in the closet ... but i think that's definitely a minority of men.
i'd say the majority of men are more likely to have the opposite problem, where we seriously don't experience positive/loving emotions nearly as frequently as women. There is no there there. so for the majority (in my opinion), it is more like: pretend to be more emotionally positive so you can encourage more sex.
Right....unless its directed at men, in which case its perfectly understandable. Go stand up for real equality for a change, ask why the court system and every other government agency opresses men and favors women in each and every instance. Ask why mens chilkdren are taken away and men are turned into wage slaves, for his ex who walked on him via no fault divorce. While youre at it, go ask why mens suicide rates have gone up 400% in the last 50 years while women remained the same, in the same period of time. Ill give you a hint, a movement that stands for equality and fights for rights of all would be called humanism. feminism, by its very definition and title, has only one sex/gender as beneficiary, and equality has absolutely nothing to do with it.
Oh, so the women you date don't register to vote, or attend college, or work, or use birth control, or own any possessions money in their own names? And they don't believe it is ok to love sex?
Gosh, I can see why that would be difficult for you. You already mentioned that they only want sex when ovulating. And without birth control, of course, ovulation is rare. Most of the time your gf's must be pregnant or nursing.
No, I meant the level of sexual desire (hormonal spike) matches that of men during ovulation. That doesn't mean they don't want sex.
And LOL. Do not lump every woman in the world into the realm of feminism. Some see it for what it really is.
In the context of this thread, I wonder if more men would rather be (afforded the customs and expectations of) women or would more women would rather be (afforded the customs and expectations of) men.
In other words, do men feel they have it worse or better than women and do women feel they have it better or worse than men?
Personally, I am glad I am a man. (Especially when I have to pee.)
...with special emphasis on how that affects relationships.
- The way more men than women are sent to war.
Men are physically stronger and emotionally are made by evolution to want to fight and protect. It's their job. (not all men, there are always exceptions, that's why now some women are joining). I would never go to war, I would just run away and hide or kill myself before facing the horrors of war. Most men are programmed to be "braver" than women. That's why they are preffered species for war. NOT because they are more expandable.
The draft. Veterans and their families can speak to this better than I can, but I imagine the physical and emotional wounds have a huge effect on relationships, lifelong.
War brings emotional damage, the world at large is guilty of bringing this upon ourselves, men start wars more than women because their instinct is to fight while the women's is to talk it out.
- The larger picture that war is a part of: The idea that men are the expendable sex. That they should work the most dangerous jobs -- physically or in terms of mental stress. The injuries, deaths, and heart attacks. Never seeing the kids.
Not because they are expandable, but because they are more physically and emotionally more capable for these jobs.
- The idea that men are valued in a relationship for what they do, not what they are. The pressure to value themselves for what they produce, or how much money they have.
Not all women think this way, only certain ones. Others value men for the good people that they are.
- The pressure to pretend all their emotional needs are really a need for sex. Touch, closeness, emotional intimacy, being understood...
- The pressure to be extremely sexual all the time. I remember the bitterness in a male friend's voice one time, when I asked him why he hadn't said no in a situation he was complaining about: 'Men can't say no to sex'. Like it wasn't allowed. Or the way men don't let each other, or themselves, heal from a broken heart, but instead put on the pressure to 'get back out there' within, like, a week.
It's because men's sexual drive IS stronger by evolution (majority). It's true. That's why people say it this way. (There are always exceptions of course.)
-Sexism also says that men's sexuality is 'evil', that every man is a potential rapist, that seeing a woman and desiring her is somehow an assault. (This item contradicts the one above, but both are true, IME. Societal oppressions don't make logical sense.)
They are a potential threat because the strong desire for sex is there and it only depends on their strengh of character as to whether they can stop themselves from doing the violence. In women, this desire is not as strong and most of the time they can stop themselves without a problem from committing violence. So that's why they are considered potentially less of a threat, but men more of a threat.
Sex being evil and men's thinking about women being seen as an assult - well, that's just confused thinking which probably resulted because of religious teachings. I don't think that non-religious people really see things this way.
- Having to do almost all the initiating in dating. I didn't know, until I came to this forum, how painful this is to many men. How it makes them feel undesired.
They have the drive/the instinct to catch, to hunt. It may be hurtful (and it is), but it's what evolution gave them. Fighting hurts too, and yet men are driven to start fights. Women are less driven to hunt and to fight. That's why it's men's role to pursue.
Women have to give birth. That's painful too, but that's what evolution makes them do.
Each of us (male and females) have specific drives/instinct related to the roles we play and that's why we play them.
Women are instinctively nurturing (and that's why they become mothers) and men are instinctively protective (that's why they fight for others)
- The lack of an organised movement for men (besides the misogynist one). This is different, because it's not a result of codified laws or mores, but I still think it is a result of sexism, of the idea that men are competition to each other, not support. Women had to get past a similar societal idea, to form second wave feminism. This makes men feel so alone, I think, not having a name for what they experience.
Men (in general, not the exceptions) don't have AS MUCH emotional stuff going on as women. Their needs are different from women's. So men and women need different things. In comparing the two species, men act, while women feel.
I am NOT saying that men don't have feelings. Of course they do. But in comparison to women's, they are mild. So there is no reason to make things be the same for men and women. The trick is to find out what each species needs and supply the needs accordingly. I agree that there is abuse going on. But it doesn't mean that men and women should have the same thing happen to both of them. Because it's NOT one size fits all.
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So, this is the kind of stuff feminists think about, for those who don't know. We don't hate men; we love men. (Many of us are men, and most of the rest are hetero or bi women.) We just hate sexism, wherever we see it.
People's ignorance is the cause for all bad. It's because people don't even know what sexism is that's the problem. Mistreating anyone in any shape or form is BAD. But treating people according to their strenghts and weaknesses is GOOD. But sometimes people don't know the difference between the two and apply wrong techniques to the wrong thing. And then problems arise...
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Alright people, what else belongs on this list? My hands are sore from typing!
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