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I guess it never occurred to her that some women are genuinely fine with being single, and that our #1 priority in life isn't finding a husband and/or having babies? I'm 37 years old, never married with no children, holding a Master's Degree and full-time professional job... and I honestly am 100% comfortable with that! I'm pretty set in my ways by this point, and have little desire to alter my entire living situation. Plus, it feels good to support oneself (especially given my privileged upbringing).
Of course she is entitled to her opinion, I just feel sorry for any woman whose life is incomplete without a husband and babies. I'm not really interested in having children, and if I fall in love & get married that's great... but if I don't, I'm glad my parents raised me to be a happily independent and self-sufficient woman. So you won't catch me doing what so many of my friends have, desperately seeking for and marrying the first decent offer.
Oh, and that bit about few men having the ego to stand a wife who earns more? Flat-out lie. Here in the Bay Area, PLENTY of women earn more than their husbands (my sister being one) - and I'd say their men are even more masculine & secure than one who'd be threatened by that. Given our ridiculous COL, one would be a downright moron to complain about "too much money," whether it came from a woman or man. LOL
Oh comon giz you are the poster board. Womas movement and all that. Yes you are and nothing wrong with that..........dam I do feel sorry if you ever meet somebody...for that guy anyway................they will be in pain. I am.......my wife is about the same as you...........lol. Hey go with it lady I respect the "pain". lol. Seriously you do what you do........that is who you are. That is all we can do anymore so go with it.
Oh comon giz you are the poster board. Womas movement and all that. Yes you are and nothing wrong with that..........dam I do feel sorry if you ever meet somebody...for that guy anyway................they will be in pain. I am.......my wife is about the same as you...........lol. Hey go with it lady I respect the "pain". lol. Seriously you do what you do........that is who you are. That is all we can do anymore so go with it.
Say what? So she's proud of her accomplishments and can hold her own and that somehow makes her some militant woman's movement poster child?
What on earth are you talking about? Since when is it a negative to be successful and proud of it? So what if she doesn't "need" a man. Anyone who "needs" another person has issues.
The point the article makes is for a certain group of women, the Ivy league educated women searching for Ivy League men yes they need to look earlier if that's what they want because those men are in short supply. However, stating that all women need to look earlier is really not true because in their 20's most women who are career driven aren't thinking of marriage. Those that are though need to look early. I spent my 20's building a career and yes there are times I regret this because most of the decent men my age are long gone or no interest in marriage. However I know if I married in my 20's I'd be divorced now.
My daughter doesn't want to get married or have kids. I admit that I don't "get it" all the time but her world is different than the one I grew up in. At 27 she's had the chance to get married to 3 different guys but it wouldn't have worked with any of them so what difference does it really make? SHE gets bored with people and places and like to keep moving around and making new friends and dating different guys. Maybe she will regret is someday but maybe she won't, especially since she has friends from high school and college who are already divorced.
I think the article painted a very accurate picture of reality.
Look, I will never want to date any woman who isn't highly intelligent. But you have to recognize that there is a difference between being intelligent, and being ambitious. And that ambitious women can be quite a headache. Ambitious women tend to put themselves above others, and don't have nearly as much time or patience for you. Many times their demands from you tend to fall into basically the unrealistic. They feel entitled to almost "perfection".
Secondly, most people by that time they are in their early 30's, are already married with children(or at least have been married and/or had children). So the available "pool" of actual singles, especially those who both have no children yet, and who still want children(someday?), is a tiny fraction of what it was compared to your early 20's.
Further, it is worse for women in their 30's than it is for men for two reasons. First, men usually aren't interested in older women(that isn't cultural, it is biological, has to do with making babies). And unlike women, men lose almost nothing by having children, so they have no need to wait to have children to advance their careers. And unlike with women, for men, having children can actually be an asset.
Even worse, unlike women, men can effectively have children forever. There isn't really a "biological clock" ticking. And its even worse than that. In your late 30's, yes, women can still have babies. But the risk is much higher in their later years, especially for genetic anomalies(down-syndrome). As well as just general birth defects(cerebral palsy). So a man should prefer a young woman to have his child rather than an older woman.
Basically, unless you are a woman who doesn't want to have children. Or you are a woman who believes money is everything. I think it is pretty good advice.
I have no issues with women working. But any man who thinks its perfectly acceptable or perfectly normal for a woman to take care of him, or even to make more money then him, is not much of a man.
To understand what I mean is this. All things being equal, the potential for money-making should by default be the same between men and women. The problem is that, women bring a value to relationships(and make sacrifices for relationships) that men cannot. And that is their ability to have babies(let alone their much stronger maternal natures which are more advantageous in child-rearing).
Thus, if a man and a woman both have the same income, and that couple has children. Then the woman necessarily brings more value to the relationship than the man. In truth, the only way a man and woman with children can bring the same value to a relationship, is if the man earns more money.
It may be true that women who may earn a lot of money, can find value in men who "take care of the house". But that normally relates to certain psychological issues which men should be concerned about. For one, they probably don't have very strong maternal inclinations(basically, they are bad mothers). Or they are psychologically damaged, or who are especially distrustful of men with power. And thus they don't really want equality in a relationship. Rather, they want to keep the power in the relationship in their own hands(emasculation). And usually make unreasonable demands in the relationship. And so, none of those qualities make for a very healthy relationship.
There are plenty of protections in the world to prevent men, even ones who earn more than women, from dominating marriages. If I was to advise a daughter, I would tell her not to put that much value in money, money isn't happiness. That her priority is just to do whatever makes her happy, and to find a good man. And that if a man mistreats her, she should just tell me, and I'll cut off his balls.
Lets put it this way! If your are worried about how much your Woman is making?Throw that relationship into the toilet already! Damn drama! Damn stress!
The author makes a strong argument. For those women who want to be married and want to have children, then unfortunately dedicating your prime child-rearing years in an effort to build up your career will take away from that biological clock. I wouldn't recommend anyone attempting to find a partner while in college...atleast not at the undergraduate level.
Now, I am conservative and pretty old-school but even I will admit this is complete rubbish. No GOOD man should be threatened by a woman's intelligence or how much she makes. In fact, a good man should be all to happy to have an intelligent woman that can make her own way. I found this woman to be very off the mark.
What good man should be and what they are two different matters. I think she makes a lot of sense. I've seen this play out for several women past 35 it's not a pretty picture.
I think it works both ways. College is a good time for male/female connections. If a male or female marries a fellow college graduate, you'll likely have more things to talk and debate and chances are that your financial situation will be better.
Now, I am conservative and pretty old-school but even I will admit this is complete rubbish. No GOOD man should be threatened by a woman's intelligence or how much she makes. In fact, a good man should be all to happy to have an intelligent woman that can make her own way. I found this woman to be very off the mark.
I think you missed the point of the article.
given everything the same, intelligence, how much she makes, the 20 year old is going to have a couple of advantages over the 30 year old. She isn't going to have that "biological clock ticking" aura of desperation to have a child while she still can, AND, she will probably have a slight advantage in appearance.
I am not trying to be ugly about anything, but let's face it, be ye male or female, the 20 year old is likely to have the more appealing physique.
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