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Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 627,327 times
Reputation: 683
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Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner
And the Black men perpetrating those crimes are thugs and underclass hood rats. I haven't heard one mention from you about the Black men who are decent, hardworking people. But then again, in all of this complaining about Black men, the ones who are decent get ignored. Not a surprise to me.
Why do I need to mention the good black men who are decent and not comitting crime, when that had nothing to do with what I was replying to?
My replies are aligned with the nature of the comment. You're overreaching on thinking you know how I feel. I never said all black men were thugs. I know not all black men fit the black man stereotype, which is why it's so interesting to me how so many bm can even think to subject black women to unfair sterotypes.
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 627,327 times
Reputation: 683
Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner
This has turned into a mess. The women who have complained about ghetto Black men, well, consider this. Those women could easily say no to those types of men. I've seen it in my life. Some of the women who exclusively date Black men, many go after the ghetto types instead of the decent types. There are many decent Black men out there. However, many women go after the thugs. As I was told, lie with a dog, you get fleas.
I have personal experience with this. There was a girl that I liked in high school. To sum me up in high school, I was a book worm. I read books, I actually liked getting decent grades. One guy described me in this way: "You're Black, but you don't talk like it". I was one of those Black guys who got pegged as "acting White". Personally, I found it insulting, but whatever. There was a girl that I thought about dating. She told me that I was not her type. Guess what type she went for. Thugs. I was a short, slender guy who read books. In fact, I wasn't alot of girls' type.
And that is the thing. There are decent Black men out there. However, thugs seem to have a big appeal, forget the fact that the relationships with those hood rats usually go nowhere.
This is the problem. Too many of you are so eager to pin this into a "it's the woman's fault." I'm so sorry some girl was silly enough to turn you away because you aren't hood. Silly her and good for you for dodging that. But there's SO many other black women who would date you but many times they get overlooked because they're labeled to be too ghetto.
So I guess the issue is on both sides. Now what? Anyway, I still think you're taking this personal. The conversation wasn't suppose to read as an attack on all black men, it's largely about a black man talking to his racists gf's father. Many, including myself have wondered if he exclusively dates outside his race? It's just a question and a good one to ask considering that happens sometimes within bm/ww relationships. So how is it fair for him to call his gf's father racists if he exclusively rejects another race?
Funny, I don't see any numbers about anything from you, just semantics. So far, you've yet to make a point otherwise. Meanwhile, enough "anecdotal evidence" translates into trends, and trends translate into the norm. There are far more affluent black men I'd say dating/marrying outside of their race than in it. No, I can't offer hard proof of it, I doubt a study for that has ever been done. Doesn't change the fact that you see it all the time among rich black men.
It's not a small percentage. It's your OPINION that it's a small percentage, and it's false. You let me know when black baseball players, football players, golfers, etc... start marrying more black women. I don't even know why you're arguing what can be seen by virtually every black celebrity.
Plenty of black celebrities and black athletes are married to black women. Beyond that there are many affluent black men with black women as well. Like I said my sister is Columbus OH right now for a wedding, and the two people getting married are BOTH black Harvard Graduates. Now, that's not discounting that a lot of black men, especially affluent black men, do date across the rainbow, but what it does suggest is that there are still many that MARRY(because isn't that the bottom line) black women. Neither one of us knows how many marry within versus how many affluent black marry out, so why debate something that we don't know? My observations are different from yours BTW, because as a black woman raised in an upper middle class environment, the majority of black families, involved a BLACK father and a black mother, but you've seen different. That's fine. I just think arguing about it--especially when there is no hard numbers backing up what you've said--is pointless. Yes black men date out a lot. So do white men. Is the problem that black men date out a lot and SOME that do are vocal about not dating black women or preferring nonbw for reasons that are stereotypical and superficial? Because if that's the real problem then that is what needs to be talked about, not that black men prefer NON-BW over BW--which is not true. Otherwise, it almost seems silly to talk about black men dating out too much, when other races date out just as much(and white men do it the most).
Why do I need to mention the good black men who are decent and not comitting crime, when that had nothing to do with what I was replying to?
My replies are aligned with the nature of the comment. You're overreaching on thinking you know how I feel. I never said all black men were thugs. I know not all black men fit the black man stereotype, which is why it's so interesting to me how so many bm can even think to subject black women to unfair sterotypes.
Funny, I was branded "racist" for mentioning this.
Funny, I don't see any numbers about anything from you, just semantics. So far, you've yet to make a point otherwise. Meanwhile, enough "anecdotal evidence" translates into trends, and trends translate into the norm. There are far more affluent black men I'd say dating/marrying outside of their race than in it. No, I can't offer hard proof of it, I doubt a study for that has ever been done. Doesn't change the fact that you see it all the time among rich black men.
It's not a small percentage. It's your OPINION that it's a small percentage, and it's false. You let me know when black baseball players, football players, golfers, etc... start marrying more black women. I don't even know why you're arguing what can be seen by virtually every black celebrity.
If that is the sole reason, yes, I would say he is.
If he actually finds out something about the individual, and still rejects him, then I wouldn't call his a racist.
I wouldn't want my daughter dating a black man, without having to know anything about him.
(I know all the usual race baiters probably just stopped reading right there and are now furiously typing their responses to me.)
I wouldn't want my daughter dating a black man due to our current society. He may be intelligent, articulate, from a good family and a good home, and has done well in school. I may even like him as a person. The fact remains that I don't live in the most "accepting" state in the nation. The affluent suburbs of North Dallas are predominately white. I wouldn't want my daughter to have to deal with any negative fallout that could come from her dating a black guy, whether it would be being ostracized at school/work, earning a bad reputation about her character due to other people's prejudices... It's all things that go above and beyond just the normal problems people have to overcome to be in a relationship. I can imagine all the trouble that could happen if she and her black bf wanted to take a road trip to New Orleans and stopped in East TX somewhere to get some gas or grab a bite to eat somewhere and some redneck started causing trouble for my daughter because she was with a black man. Or, some backwoods cop pulls them over because he sees a black guy driving a nice car with a white girl in it and assumes the worst. Rednecks, guns, and racism are a bad combination, and I wouldn't want my daughter anywhere near it.
If I lived somewhere else where IR dating was more prevalent, then I wouldn't care. But that's just not the case now. Who knows, maybe in another decade or so, times will have changed enough around here, but for now, it wouldn't be viewed as a good thing by too many people.
1) This is a poetry slam. Of course there is going to be alot of dramatization. Maybe this is why he picked a poetry slam to do this in. He thought that perhaps he could be angry, and not get any crap about it as a Black man.
2) This man was talking about fathers who have the "no Black guys" rule. He was not saying that he only wanted to date White women.
3) This is what I got out of it. This was about wanting to be accepted. This was wanting to be seen as an equal, to be judged as an individual.
This has turned into "lets complain about Black men". This wasn't suppose to turn into that. However, it has.
How has this turned into "let's complain about black men"?
The original story was about black men wanting white fathers to not stereotype them for wanting to date their white daughters--so that's what this thread has based upon. Somewhere along the line people starting mentioning uncomfortable observations, and then we started to talk about the group of bm that date NONBW and their negative feelings about black women. I don't think that this group represents all black men, and I've defended that, but this group DOES exist and unfortunately because this group exists and is VOCAL it's hard not to mention this group when we talk about this particular topic. If it doesn't apply to you then you aren't who we are talking about. And to be clear the only BM I am talking about are the BM that date or marry nonbw and feel the need to bash/stereotype BW or they want NONBW because they don't like the way BW look when they look like the same women they reject.
The posters claiming that all BM are this way are being ridiculous, and the posters claiming that BM prefer other women over their own are also being ridiculous, and it's unfortunate but it's citydata... I wouldn't even take this personal if I were you.
Your anecdotal evidence is useless, like I said, the majority of Black men aren't marrying non-Black women.
Just like I asked another poster on this discussion, do you believe everything you see on TV?
Sigh. Affluent.
Here it is again. AFFLUENT.
Posting links about ALL black people has no bearing whatsoever on what I'm talking about. Zip. None. (It's a nice fantasy to think that all black people are affluent, but they lag every other race in America in that, so posting information about blacks as a whole has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.)
All the AFFLUENT ones are not marrying black women.
Posting links about ALL black people has no bearing whatsoever on what I'm talking about. Zip. None. (It's a nice fantasy to think that all black people are affluent, but they lag every other race in America in that, so posting information about blacks as a whole has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.)
All the AFFLUENT ones are not marrying black women.
Read the previous sentence.
Again.
Again.
Do you get it now?
Do you have actual RAW numbers that show AFFLUENT black men marry or date NONBW more than BW?
Otherwise why continue to bring this up? You clearly feel that "affluence" is important and that affluent BM don't want BW but whereas that poster at least has numbers to back up his claim that BM marry BW more than other races, all you've done is talk about what you've seen, and CELEBRITIES--which again don't represent the average person in this country, so again other than observations what evidence do you have to back up your claim?
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