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Obviously, she started this whole astonishing sense of entitlement non-sense. How does she know that just because you don't have any children, you don't need the equivalent of maternity leave?
How does she know that you are missing out simply because YOU made different choice?
This said, should a couple with no kids pay the same taxes as a couple with 4 kids in the public school system? Should Americans with No Kids Be Able “Opt-Out” of School Taxes?
I see what you are saying here, op.
I never thought about having my own children until recently. So I understand why some people chose not to have children. I want my own children in the future, but I do feel there is a stigma associated with childless people. "that missing out" " you don't deserve anything because you don't have children" Oh, get this "you are selfish" b.s. certainly is getting old. People obviously make different choices in life.
Although I would not have described her as a good cow, she sure started this whole thing.
You actually believe that conversation ever took place?
You're not missing out on anything. You should never have kids. Who knows if you might turn into a cow or an abusive grotesque creature just like your mother?
Agree 100 percent that the OP should never have kids. He's not mature enough for such a job.
Both of my adult children have decided they don't want kids, and I'm fine with that decision. Raising children is a difficult job that never ends. There are many rewards, but also many hardships and responsibilities. If you don't want to make that kind of commitment, don't do it.
It's pretty apparent from his first paragraph that the OP has Mommy issues which has colored his view on having children.
Parents are "missing out" on some opportunities in life, absolutely.
Childless people are missing out on other opportunities.
It's like going to a dinner where the bill is split evenly. Just because you ordered fish instead of chicken doesn't mean they're "missing out" in some absolute way. And if the cost is different and the bill is still split evenly, it's not the fault of those that opted for the more expensive dinner. YOU chose your dinner. Eat it and enjoy it. Holding the hatred of their choices only spoils your dinner.
Obviously, she started this whole astonishing sense of entitlement non-sense. How does she know that just because you don't have any children, you don't need the equivalent of maternity leave?
How does she know that you are missing out simply because YOU made different choice?
This said, should a couple with no kids pay the same taxes as a couple with 4 kids in the public school system? Should Americans with No Kids Be Able “Opt-Out” of School Taxes?
I see what you are saying here, op.
I never thought about having my own children until recently. So I understand why some people chose not to have children. I want my own children in the future, but I do feel there is a stigma associated with childless people. "that missing out" " you don't deserve anything because you don't have children" Oh, get this "you are selfish" b.s. certainly is getting old. People obviously make different choices in life.
Although I would not have described her as a good cow, she sure started this whole thing.
The woman in the story sounds ridiculous.
However, I don't find it particularly useful IRL to counter ridiculous with even more ridiculous.
I have never thought less of someone for not having kids. Quite the opposite. I have met many people I wish did not have children (for the sake of their children or society in general). Geez, it happened on Wednesday night. We had another couple over for dinner. They talked about possibly getting ready to have a kid, and my wife and I both looked at each other and were like, 'Oh, no."
I think that tends to be true more than the other way around.
I have friends who have no kids bc they couldn't or never found a partner to have them with, and I feel bad for them because I always feel bad for my friends if they can't have what they want. And I have friends who have no kids because they don't want any and I have zero opinions on this. Just like I don't care what color bedspread they choose. It's their lifestyle decision.
I was recently talking about how parents get all kinds of perks (like paternity leave, tax write-offs, more time off work etc) and how those of us without kids don't get jack. Well, the lady I was talking to went on the usual bovine tirade about how she "needs" those services...btw, I am absolutely through showing any respect to "mothers" and will refer to those cows by their rightful names, "bovines", for the remainder of this thread. And yes, I did call the abusive, grotesque creature that brought me into this wretched state we call "life" by such names too. But I digress.
Anyhow, the bovine went on and on about "I have children and need x,y, and z and you don't need anything else because you don't have any." I asked "well, if I don't get those things, than what do I get?"
"Nothing because you don't need any special services because you don't have kids!" And then I whipped out the finishing move: I said "so...having no kids is enough of a privilege?"
She, like any good cow, looked at me and said "No! You are missing out if you don't have kids!"
Well...if I am missing out, why not any perks for me? She stormed away, having lost the argument.
Yeah, you get more time off if you have kids, pay less in taxes etc. And the reason is obvious and we all know it: if you have spawn, you are at a disadvantage to those of us who understand that little poop-machines are not worth the hassle. Hence you need special treatment to put yourselves on equal footing with us.
It is societies attempt to make breeders equal with those of us who understand birth control. Hence, some inequality must exist. Why not admit it?
And I will even stop my usual family-hating rhetoric to say this: you value your kids. Fair enough. Is it so hard to admit those of us who do not are going to have an easier time in the workforce and in life in general? Even if you do enjoy being a parent for reasons I can't fathom, is it so hard to admit that it is a trade-off?
I can sleep in for as long as I want to (aside from getting up for work) not worry about money and do what I want, when I want to. I can live in a tiny apartment in the middle of a city and not worry about schools or whatever. I can take another job in another city and leave and not care about resettling a clan or runny-nosed screamers and my schedule is mine and mine alone (aside from work)
So honestly, who is "missing out" here?
The other day I walk up at 1pm, smoked some refer (legal here) and went to a bar and then just kind of did...whatever. In quiet. No other human demanding my time or energy. Just me. I think "fambly" people secretly envy people like me, they are just too weak to admit it.
So keep your tax breaks and your paid paternity leave, and your eternal excuse for being late to work that I am not allowed to dispute. I'll keep my disposable income, good night's sleep, and all around fun life.
We both know I am the one who has come out ahead in life.
With your attitude I am glad you decided not to have children. It is all about choices. I have never met anyone that decided to have children for a tax write off.
The woman in the story sounds ridiculous.
However, I don't find it particularly useful IRL to counter ridiculous with even more ridiculous.
I have never thought less of someone for not having kids. Quite the opposite. I have met many people I wish did not have children (for the sake of their children or society in general). Geez, it happened on Wednesday night. We had another couple over for dinner. They talked about possibly getting ready to have a kid, and my wife and I both looked at each other and were like, 'Oh, no."
I think that tends to be true more than the other way around.
I have friends who have no kids bc they couldn't or never found a partner to have them with, and I feel bad for them because I always feel bad for my friends if they can't have what they want. And I have friends who have no kids because they don't want any and I have zero opinions on this. Just like I don't care what color bedspread they choose. It's their lifestyle decision.
Right. I agree.
I have never thought about having my own children until recently. I always have had great boyfriends. The only person I thought about having children with is my current boyfriend. I think parenting is a lot of responsibility.
I want my own children in the future, I don't know what suddenly changed my mind. I, just like you, think having children is a very personal decision. like you said, it is "their" lifestyle decision and choice.
This said, op obviously should have chosen his words more carefully.
I don't know a lot people, but the people I am aware of who do not have kids--my Brother is one--regret it later on in life. Im not a fan of feral cat style breeding, but I think it is a real psychological phenomenon that people have regrets about not procreating when they're on in years. Kids might be an inconvenience when you are younger, want to have a "career" and still want to go out and get loaded and stuff, but later when you age/mature a little and your priorities change, stuff the lil demons do will make you very happy and fill you with sort of a feeling of accomplishment seeing all the time you put into being a "good parent" come to fruition. Those tiny little moments over time, make it somewhat rewarding and soul-enriching. Another anecdotal, unscientific observation of childless people is that they are a little less empathetic, for want of a better term, than people who have had to spend a large part of the existence giving and suffering the hardships that parenting brings.
I was recently talking about how parents get all kinds of perks (like paternity leave, tax write-offs, more time off work etc) and how those of us without kids don't get jack. Well, the lady I was talking to went on the usual bovine tirade about how she "needs" those services...btw, I am absolutely through showing any respect to "mothers" and will refer to those cows by their rightful names, "bovines", for the remainder of this thread. And yes, I did call the abusive, grotesque creature that brought me into this wretched state we call "life" by such names too. But I digress.
Anyhow, the bovine went on and on about "I have children and need x,y, and z and you don't need anything else because you don't have any." I asked "well, if I don't get those things, than what do I get?"
"Nothing because you don't need any special services because you don't have kids!" And then I whipped out the finishing move: I said "so...having no kids is enough of a privilege?"
She, like any good cow, looked at me and said "No! You are missing out if you don't have kids!"
Well...if I am missing out, why not any perks for me? She stormed away, having lost the argument.
Yeah, you get more time off if you have kids, pay less in taxes etc. And the reason is obvious and we all know it: if you have spawn, you are at a disadvantage to those of us who understand that little poop-machines are not worth the hassle. Hence you need special treatment to put yourselves on equal footing with us.
It is societies attempt to make breeders equal with those of us who understand birth control. Hence, some inequality must exist. Why not admit it?
And I will even stop my usual family-hating rhetoric to say this: you value your kids. Fair enough. Is it so hard to admit those of us who do not are going to have an easier time in the workforce and in life in general? Even if you do enjoy being a parent for reasons I can't fathom, is it so hard to admit that it is a trade-off?
I can sleep in for as long as I want to (aside from getting up for work) not worry about money and do what I want, when I want to. I can live in a tiny apartment in the middle of a city and not worry about schools or whatever. I can take another job in another city and leave and not care about resettling a clan or runny-nosed screamers and my schedule is mine and mine alone (aside from work)
So honestly, who is "missing out" here?
The other day I walk up at 1pm, smoked some refer (legal here) and went to a bar and then just kind of did...whatever. In quiet. No other human demanding my time or energy. Just me. I think "fambly" people secretly envy people like me, they are just too weak to admit it.
So keep your tax breaks and your paid paternity leave, and your eternal excuse for being late to work that I am not allowed to dispute. I'll keep my disposable income, good night's sleep, and all around fun life.
We both know I am the one who has come out ahead in life.
Kids require a ton of cash to house, feed, and educate. I shelled out half a million just for college for my three kids.
What are the benefits? They are not financial. It is all the laughs and good times that we had and still have. My wife and I are home bodies and would not have done one quarter of the things we did unelss we had our kids. Many more trips, more activities, and more parents of other kids met at events. We laugh our asses off when we are together.
If people don't want kids, that is fine. But for me, I could not imagine my life without kids and can say it has been a hell of a lot better than it would have been otherwise. For other people, kids may not be as much fun.
I don't know a lot people, but the people I am aware of who do not have kids--my Brother is one--regret it later on in life. Im not a fan of feral cat style breeding, but I think it is a real psychological phenomenon that people have regrets about not procreating when they're on in years. Kids might be an inconvenience when you are younger, want to have a "career" and still want to go out and get loaded and stuff, but later when you age/mature a little and your priorities change, stuff the lil demons do will make you very happy and fill you with sort of a feeling of accomplishment seeing all the time you put into being a "good parent" come to fruition. Those tiny little moments over time, make it somewhat rewarding and soul-enriching. Another anecdotal, unscientific observation of childless people is that they are a little less empathetic, for want of a better term, than people who have had to spend a large part of the existence giving and suffering the hardships that parenting brings.
I have an aunt who couldn't have her own biological children. Not having children is her biggest disappointment in life. My boyfriend's uncle went through two failed marriage simply because he never wanted any children. He got married for the third time to a lady who never wanted children. They couldn't be happier. I also have a friend who got married for the sake of getting pregnant. She is now a single mother of two, she is happy with children, and she can care less about men. I don't judge any of them, I have zero opinion about their "choice" or disappointment.
The second bolded, I have to respectfully disagree with you here. My own brother is a former Marine and I grew up with the Marines because my brother is 10 plus years older than me. Volunteering at VA hospital makes me a very compassionate person. I also lost a boyfriend to suicide, this changed my views on life completely. I certainly became a much more compassionate person. I believe anybody who are suffering deserve at least a big hug. I also understand that angry people are not happy people. Sometimes,the anger outbursts is nothing but defense mechanism. No one knows what these angry people have been through..
Bottom line is that you cannot compare or quantify love and happiness, just like you can't compare or quantify pain, hardship or suffering. Parenthood although is very rewarding and noble, is simply not for everyone.
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