Time To Change Up Presidential Press Conferences (unemployment, interview, FBI)

[JustPassinThru]

No more boring conferences that elicit little new information, and only serve to keep some reporters out of the unemployment line. How about a mandatory monthly press conference, with questions selected by an independent panel from those submitted by the citizenry? Next year the first presidential press conference might go something like this.

Wolf Blitzer - Madam President, the following questions were selected by an independent panel, and I have not seen them until this very minute. Trust me, I tried.

Question - Madam President, why do you always wear pantsuits or long-hemmed dresses?
Answer - Wolf, after 30+ years of begging the Progressives to support me, my knees are calloused and too fugly to display in public.

Question - Madam President, who does your hair?
Answer - As you know we are always watching costs in the Clinton household, so I fly in some of my HS classmates, who style my hair at no cost to me, because they love me.

Question - Madam President, will there be a place in the White House for your husband?
Answer - Yes, a very tiny place; a small, windowless room without a sofa. Definitely without a sofa.

Question - Madam President, will Bernie Sanders have a role in your administration?
Answer - Bernie who?

Question - Madam President, who will be your new spokesperson?
Answer - At the present we're interviewing cast members from SNL. You may hate the message but the presentation will keep you in stitches.

Question - Madam President, will there be a new family pet roaming the White House grounds?
Answer - Yes. Initially we wanted Kellyanne Conway, but we couldn't come to terms, so we settled on Rudy Giuliani. He's so cute when he goes, "Woof!"

Question - Madam President, what will your gun control policy look like?
Answer - There will not be a need for gun control, since we are rounding up all weapons in the country, beginning with Texas.

Question - Madam President, are you going to proceed with an open border policy?
Answer - You're kidding, right? My first order of business will be to issue an across-the-board halt to all immigration. There are already way too many rapists and criminals here.

Question - Madam President, what about the email investigation?
Answer - The new FBI Director has not been able to locate any email that may have passed through my private server. Oddly, he has not been able to locate former Director Comey, either.

Question - Madam President, will you be travelling much outside the country?
Answer - What the **** kind of question is that? Just because we are in Rome today doesn't mean a ****** thing. I ought to take your ******* head and shove it up your ******* ***. I'm outta here. Oh, and GOD BLESS AMERICA!