Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickchick
I actually am that adult child with the autistic mind and I am older than your son. Ask many other autistic children. They will tell you that they like who they are and they prefer the term "neurodivergent" so they don't even necessarily consider their condition a disability but a character trait.
The only thing that makes having autism difficult is having a non-supportive environment to grow up in. As long as people around you understand how to deal with your different mind you eventually succeed. Some autistic people go on to be very successful. Lower functioning autistic people may have a more difficult time which is why your son might be having difficulties but that doesn't change the fact that autism is nothing to fear if one does happen to get it. I do find it difficult with the way society is to have a different brain but I couldn't imagine myself as strictly neurotypical. I notice that for example neurotypicals find it easy to lie. Even though that's often the way to succeed I can't imagine centering my life around that.
Also maybe he tested normal because he was so young that it remained dormant. Some things don't show up until later.
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First of all: You seem to be a bright & articulate person & you deserve to be proud of yourself for this. And you are very, very, lucky.
As am I. Initially diagnosed as the "most profound case of adult ADD I have ever seen in a female" by a Neurophsychiatrist who is known throughout the country as being a top expert in his field; diagnosed ASD within that same year.
I post a lot here on CD & it would surprise most readers to meet me in person because I do not talk the way I write. A two paragraph post may take me 3-4 hours to write & I usually have to stop & start several times over. I use my documents to write the initial post & then copy/paste it in to the “reply” box here otherwise I will time-out my reply & lose everything. This will be a long post. I started it around 11pm on 8/12 … who knows when it will actually be posted.
I'll admit to a little indulgement in "autistic-elietist" mentality here & there. I have been determined to have Savant Syndrome as well with two seperate capabilities of perfect pitch & atypical hyperlexia.
It took a Herculean effort on my part, to put myself through college (with a 9th grade education), graduate, become successful in my career with time-management & communication skills. I did it because I desired my independence so very much.. I remembered being called “retarded” & I used it, played it over & over inside my head because success is the best revenge. The more times I heard “retarded” in my head; the harder I worked.
I’ll bet you have a personal success story as well. But we are both walking a
very fine line.
My 13 year old son is on the other side of this line.
I assume you can use a toilet by yourself? Me too. But not him. As I type this, I am sitting on the bed where he is sleeping in the dark. It's what I do every night because if not he will wake up in a panic & destroy everything within his grasp. Not because he's "bad" but because he's scared & he panics. In about an hour he will wake up & charge like a bull into the bathroom. He will throw or knock over anything that is not nailed down.He will be disoriented & violent. I don’t try to get sleep anymore between 10pm & 2am because I’m afraid he might head butt me unconscious before I’m even awake.
He is 6 foot tall & 200lbs. Hopefully he will lay down & ram his head into my body a few times. I don't mind that, really. I know he craves that deep pressure from the outside after spending the last 11 yrs with his brain swelling from the inside ... It's called Encephalopathy; it started within hours after being double-dosed with his vaccines at age 2. Within 1 week he had started full-regression with a loss of most developemental skills within 2 months.
He developed super-human strength; tipping hard wood furniture end over end & ripping metal gates bolted into walls out with his bare hands, leaving piles of plaster & drywall. All of this he was able to do by age 4. His pediatrician has predicted that he will be
6'7" by the time he is fully grown.
He was in diapers until age 8. Still requires help bathing & dressing. Is only able to tolerate a small number of foods. He self-harms. You could ask him how he feels about it all day long but he can't answer.
"His" Autism
is something to be feared. Calling him Neurodivergent won't change the fact that he is a child with brain damage.
He's an eloper. Found once in a neighbors home at 5am playing with their dog. I had spent a year sleeping every night in a
chair just feet from the foor to avoid this but he had gotten around me. He will wander without awareness of traffic, “Danger” signs, animals, water. God forbid he is spotted by a predatory person who realizes that without communication ability he will make the perfect victim; he can’t tell anybody who did what to him. He now wears a GPS tracker 24/7 for his safety.
He wants so badly to have friends & to be part of something. Instead; he calls himself “invisible Luke”.
I worked for 16 years after I graduated, had a lot of kids & still did very well for myself. . I walked away from it all to care for my son. There are TWO child care centers in my state that are certified to care for kids with his level of needs. I did it because I know I’m the best one to do it. I knew when he was hurting or thirsty without his words & nobody else did. He needed me & I love him. There was no question in my mind that I was doing the right thing. And there still isn’t.
I am no longer independent. I live at 200% below poverty level & am dependent on the good graces of his dad for a very small amount of monthly budget & his SSI to help provide for him. I have nothing saved for my senior years. I have no clue what will happen to us. I am beyond “fearing”; I am terrified.
I know you don’t want to be “cured” of Autism & you don’t have to worry about that. There will be no cure. What’s been done is done.
I wish I could find some benefit of my own that would help me help my son. Nobody cares that I can pick out the 1 person in a huge choir that is out of tune, or ad lib harmonize with a song I’ve heard just once. Nobody writes me a paycheck just because I can read over 1,300 words per minute with 98% comprehension (top 2% in the nation, no less) . What good is my being an Autistic Savant, really, to my son?
Can
you believe
ME that my son was NOT born Autistic? That I am hyper-aware of seeing/hearing/feeling that something hurt him? Changed him & damaged him?
And guess what? I know that vaccines don’t cause Autism. BUT, while some can be born with Autism, most are not.
But some people
are born with genes containing atypical variants. These variant genes, can cause a person to be either highly resistant to, or susceptible to, our own antibody/immune response. If you are born with susceptibility variants, your own immune system might trigger a response capable of causing Encephalopathy. Which is known to cause Autism.
In other words; we gave ourselves Autism, with the immune response that occurred after being vaccinated. Unless, of course, maybe you were not vaccinated & just happened to be exposed to Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Diptheria, Pertussis & Tetanus ... all at once.
I just found out last month that I was born with three variant genes; one resistant gene & two susceptible genes & there may be more . Apparently, I passed along at least one of these to my son. The CDC & Pharma have known this for years & are in the process of developing bio-specific vaccines so we will have options to the “one-size-fits-all” vaccines available now. Until then I guess some of us have been (and will be, unless tested first) sacrificed in the name of the “greater good”, AKA herd immunity.
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it's about those newborns and those around them & who can infect them & why it is beneficial for a newborn to get the vax, as a newborn...and because not all kids are vaccinated, not all kids have family members that are vaccinated, not all stranger's kids in a park or at a public jump zone & everywhere else parents drag their kids to are vaccinated in this day and age:
