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I don't get into the politics of being a transsexual, really I just want to live my life as peacefully as possible. I agree that there are some of us who are all "trannier than thou" towards trans people who don't transition, for whatever reason. I stay away from people like that. I also have a problem with the more vocal trans rights activists that do much more harm to the community than most any other group. I'm all for equality, until it conflicts with someone else's free agency, with the exception of people who demean us for no reason, other than being jerks. An example would be the the former building manager of my apartment building, who would use my birth name, refer to me as 'he', and even referred to me as a 'shim' a time or two. He knew better, but did this simply because he could, knowing there wasn't anything I could do about it. [newtovenice: this is what the law in Cali prevents, that type of harassment, because that isn't right.]. The current owners of the building are wonderfully affirming and amazing.
Those transpeople who don't have gender dysphoria are just as trans as I am, and those saying otherwise are being ridiculous.
Old school as in not recent last couple of years kind of trans, not ooooold old school
I've been following the politics of it all lately as there's a lot of changes going on in the UK - feminists speaking out about women's sex-based rights are being shut down, the very existence of female as a sex class is being erased which will have long term consequences that will make fighting sexism impossible.
The ones that don't have gender dysphoria tend to be the aggressive ones who stay physically male (female transmen seem to be dysphoric or believe that they are dysphoric even though understandably not so many go the full transition route as female to male bottom surgery is not so good) that bully lesbians who don't want to have sex with them because obviously lesbians do not want to have sex with someone that has a penis but these aggressive non-dysphoric trans tell them it's their 'girl penis' and that they are being horrible bigoted transphobes if they don't have sex with them.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think people should have to transition (should only be a last resort if dysphoria doesn't ease as the surgery has its issues), I'd much rather it would be acceptable in society to live openly as feminine or masculine as they want without having to transition at all, that gender roles are destroyed entirely. But anyone that abuses women and gaslights them, telling them that their obviously male body is female is someone I have a problem with, and even more so if they try to pressure them into having sex (it's just more homophobia, when lesbians are decried for not wanting sex with male-bodied people)
It's just been announced that the Labour Party (UK) has its All Women Shortlists (basically certain Party positions are only open to women candidates to try to get a bit more equality in the Party) are open to anyone who self-identifies as a woman, not just for legal women (so females, and those that have had gender reassignment). Right now the Woman's Officer is one area is a 19 year old transwoman who blocks any woman that asks questions about anything to do with women and has declared that they will use their position to advance trans rights which is not what the position is for (they had the option of running for the LGBTQ Officer position but chose to run for the Women's Officer instead, which is a position meant to increase women's involvement in politics). Pretty sure this person is a troll anyway, one day they say they are asexual, the next they say they are a lesbian, and now they are saying that they can get pregnant... also just a couple of years ago they were a Men's Right's Activist making rape jokes on twitter - not a person that belongs in the position of Women's Officer, they are making a mockery of women and transgender people.
And what so many people don't understand about non-binary people is that there is not a need or desire to "transition" although some do and they end up regretting it because their gender can be both, neither, or flip back and forth so permanent changes are not needed nor do they help.
But the non-binary people who have transitioned and regretted it say they did so because they thought it would be easier to fit into society that way - because most other people demand that you be one or the other (as evidenced by many posters in this thread). They find that they would have been better off saving themselves the money and the trouble since their body will never match their brain 100% of the time regardless.
So basically, all those here insisting that gender fluid (and other non-binary gender identities) are not valid are basically telling people to go on hormones and get SRS to switch their sex organs, etc - all because they can't handle using a "they" pronoun or just not being a dick to someone who is different. And THAT is a real shame.
And 80% of non-binary people above a certain age (35ish) are in stealth mode, unlike the young people who seem to want to flaunt it and take lots of selfies, etc (something which does not help the cause).
So basically there are many posters here who have a non-binary sibling or first cousin and don't realize it. If it was your sister or brother coming out to you (which I don't think they would do with a lot of you), would you look them in the eye and say the same things you've typed in here? Or would you listen, pause, and think about how knowing this about your own blood gives you a fresh new perspective?
I don't get into the politics of being a transsexual, really I just want to live my life as peacefully as possible. I agree that there are some of us who are all "trannier than thou" towards trans people who don't transition, for whatever reason. I stay away from people like that. I also have a problem with the more vocal trans rights activists that do much more harm to the community than most any other group. I'm all for equality, until it conflicts with someone else's free agency, with the exception of people who demean us for no reason, other than being jerks. An example would be the the former building manager of my apartment building, who would use my birth name, refer to me as 'he', and even referred to me as a 'shim' a time or two. He knew better, but did this simply because he could, knowing there wasn't anything I could do about it. [newtovenice: this is what the law in Cali prevents, that type of harassment, because that isn't right.]. The current owners of the building are wonderfully affirming and amazing.
Those transpeople who don't have gender dysphoria are just as trans as I am, and those saying otherwise are being ridiculous.
And if said landlord were to call me "Hey B(Witch)" every time he addressed me, does that qualify for the hate crime? Intent is the same right? Deliberately calling me something I don't want to hear?
But it doesn't qualify (law only applies to trans people). It just means he is a flipping JERK.
Newsflash: People have a right to be jerks.
Do I like it that he calls me that? Of course not.
Do I shrug it off as, Gawd what a JERK, and move on with my day without having a mental breakdown?
YES. Because I am an adult and understand that some people are JUST JERKS.
I don't get into the politics of being a transsexual, really I just want to live my life as peacefully as possible. I agree that there are some of us who are all "trannier than thou" towards trans people who don't transition, for whatever reason. I stay away from people like that. I also have a problem with the more vocal trans rights activists that do much more harm to the community than most any other group. I'm all for equality, until it conflicts with someone else's free agency, with the exception of people who demean us for no reason, other than being jerks. An example would be the the former building manager of my apartment building, who would use my birth name, refer to me as 'he', and even referred to me as a 'shim' a time or two. He knew better, but did this simply because he could, knowing there wasn't anything I could do about it. [newtovenice: this is what the law in Cali prevents, that type of harassment, because that isn't right.]. The current owners of the building are wonderfully affirming and amazing.
Those transpeople who don't have gender dysphoria are just as trans as I am, and those saying otherwise are being ridiculous.
Why don't you talk to Lindsey Shepherd, the TA, about what the Canadian law really means?
She was told by her professor that discussing the use of pronouns was "sexual assault."
Do you agree with that? Think that is perfectly OK?
Do you think the subject should be banned from college classrooms unless a pro-trans agenda is used?
Because that's what her professors told her.
GO listen to the recording of the meeting.
Educate yourself on what these *laws* are really doing.
Everyone is non-binary to an extent Xpat, nobody is 100% masculine or 100% feminine. Everyone should be free to express themselves, dress themselves etc. as they feel comfortable with no judgement or discrimination but that doesn't make them a man one day and a woman the next - sex has meaning and women as a sex class are oppressed because of our biology, not because of how we identify, so sex based protections need to continue to be sex based not gender feeling based. Apart from that I'm happy to use the pronouns people want when talking with them (not that you really use pronouns when talking to someone...) because I don't want to upset anyone but being gender non-conforming I was misgendered all the time growing up, very many women are especially once they get middle aged and older, but we don't go shouting that it's "literal violence" like some people in the trans community do, because it's not, it's usually just a genuine mistake and even when it's not it's not worth getting upset about.
Everyone is non-binary to an extent Xpat, nobody is 100% masculine or 100% feminine. Everyone should be free to express themselves, dress themselves etc. as they feel comfortable with no judgement or discrimination but that doesn't make them a man one day and a woman the next - sex has meaning and women as a sex class are oppressed because of our biology, not because of how we identify, so sex based protections need to continue to be sex based not gender feeling based. Apart from that I'm happy to use the pronouns people want when talking with them (not that you really use pronouns when talking to someone...) because I don't want to upset anyone but being gender non-conforming I was misgendered all the time growing up, very many women are especially once they get middle aged and older, but we don't go shouting that it's "literal violence" like some people in the trans community do, because it's not, it's usually just a genuine mistake and even when it's not it's not worth getting upset about.
I'm the same way to a large extent, but we also get marginalized in many ways which is why staying in stealth mode is the safest way to go. How well are you accepted in Finland? Something tells me you're a lot more accepted in Suomi than you would be in the USA.
well, to me, Gender identity is a sensitive issue, and it’s best not to inflate that sensitivity and just call people whatever they want to be called, I see minimal harm in that.
As a woman, I have no issues with transgender women using the same bathroom. I don't see the big deal. But then again, I don't have a small daughter, my opinion can be a little bit biased.
This said, I think it is possible that maybe this isn’t a completely one-sided issue, and that maybe people who are mischaracterized ought to just let it go rather than turn it into a societal issue?
My family has several retail stores in the shopping malls. Yes, I might have called somebody "sir" and I might have accidentally offended them. My intention was never bad. One person told me she wanted to sue me, but she never really filed the lawsuit, Thanks God for that. I even remember her exact words, "This (lawsuit) will teach you how to respect somebody like me. Don't be a stupid biotch about it."
Nowadays, I just learned to be careful. I don't paint them with one broad brush. Some people (transgender or not) are just jerks; some people take everything personally (and rightly so).
Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood is the rule to follow
well, to me, Gender identity is a sensitive issue, and it’s best not to inflate that sensitivity and just call people whatever they want to be called, I see minimal harm in that.
As a woman, I have no issues with transgender women using the same bathroom. I don't see the big deal. But then again, I don't have a small daughter, my opinion can be a little bit biased.
This said, I think it is possible that maybe this isn’t a completely one-sided issue, and that maybe people who are mischaracterized ought to just let it go rather than turn it into a societal issue?
My family has several retail stores in the shopping mall. Yes, I might have called somebody "sir" and I might have accidentally offended them. My intention was never bad. One person told me she wanted to sue me, but she never really filed the lawsuit, Thanks God for that. Nowadays, I just learned to be careful.
What I know about every transwoman I've met is that when they want to go to the bathroom, they just want to be able to use the bathroom. The idea that they would be a threat to anyone is the result of unfair and crazy fear mongering.
In a lot of places, they have mixed gender bathroom areas where all enter the sink area but all the bathroomy stuf happens in locked stalls that anyone can use. I think these bathrooms are the best and most equitable to everyone (especially women who wait in long lines when its a ladies-only arrangement).
Don’t know and don’t care. People are free to express themselves however they want. If other people are offended by that, too bad.
I don't care either... until it gets to the point of affecting my bank account. If any group or issue starts increasing my tax burden, it makes me really cranky.
So it really annoys me to hear about all the uproar over who can use which bathrooms or locker rooms in a grade school. The simplest, quickest and cheapest solution is to just make sure that every school building and public building has several of those unisex handicapped single person bathrooms. Stop legislating and demanding that everyone has to welcome the LGBT community with open arms. TRUE changes take time and can't be forced. And keep in mind that as we let in immigrants and refugees from Third World countries (where their values are super traditional and old school), we delay progress towards full acceptance and tolerance for all.
And no, tax dollars and insurance dollars should NOT be going towards sex change operations. Let them set up GoFundMe pages instead. Again, I don't care about anyone's way of life until it hits me in my pocketbook. Go do your own weird sh*t on your own dime.
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