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Not all of them. Take my buddies kid for example. Divorced parents. Dad remarried to someone from Mexico. Woman outright said she didn't like his son. They lived near us and they'd walk over. She'd have him knock on the door and if we answered it she'd split fast if our kids answered. They dumped the kid over to us as often as possible. Then they moved because she wasn't around enough Spanish speakers for her liking. Kid is constantly in trouble at school and always starved for attention.
This one is a ticking time bomb if you ask me. Anyway, after meeting all the kid's parents at school it's no wonder a bunch of them are mixed up. Grandma shows up to birthday parties etc. cause mommy is too busy to go. Or because she'd rather go to the beach.
We are a border city and for events at school none of the kids that get bused in from the border attend anything because their parents don't drive. No fund raisers, parent teacher meetings, functions. It's no wonder these kids are trouble makers. The parents treat the after school Y program like a baby sitter. Either that or the kids have to walk over to the library to "study". Study means to watch videos or snapchat on their phones or the library computers.
I've seen it all from volunteering at our local schools.[/QUOTE]
As a working, single mother - I was on the board of the PTA and volunteered a LOT - so I've seen quite a lot as well. There are always going to be those parents who don't show up for anything. And, yes, lots of time the kid suffers. However, that can just as easily come from a deadbeat poor two parent family who don't have jobs and just don't give a damn.
I used to wonder why it was always the same handful of women who were volunteering at the school when at least 35% of them didn't work outside the home at all. Yet here I am - killing myself between clients trying to do everything.
Ya, the thing is, this area is pretty wealthy minus the poor kids that get bused in. It's the same parents and kids that carry all the water for things like carnival fund raisers. It seems the rest just can't be bothered. As you said, a lot of people are wealthy enough they don't even friggin work yet somehow can't find time to be more into the kids. Pathetic. We gave parents an option, either cough up 100 bucks or volunteer time. Most gave the money rather than be bothered. The poor families just ignored it but their kids sure somehow managed to find a way to get to school for the trip to Disney. But they can't make open house night at the school or meet the teachers.
Donating money instead of volunteering for fund raisers makes sense. We know full well that volunteering parents are usually in cliques and their children win class president or whatever, because the volunteering parents count the votes.
The real problem is a lack of bargaining power for ordinary working people. It’s hard to be a parent if one’s employer has them by the cajunas. Not much time for parenting if I have to work 80 hours/week to keep my job.
I noticed back in the 60's people stopped teaching their kids manners and respect for others.
During the depression many people were poor but they did not rob others. Granny never locked her door. Anybody who knocked on that door wanting to work for a meal, was fed. She weighed 85 pounds and was never afraid of strangers.
Kids then had all kinds of relatives around. Currently many people are isolated from their families due to work. I see families in restaurants completely involved in their screens, ignoring the kids or the kid has their own screen.
IMO, many of us are ignorant of child development and have no clue about what good parenting means.
Donating money instead of volunteering for fund raisers makes sense. We know full well that volunteering parents are usually in cliques and their children win class president or whatever, because the volunteering parents count the votes.
oh dear -- you sound bitter. I'm sorry you had a bad experience.
I volunteered for 28 years and my child was never the class president...
Yes on any PTSA boad there is usually at least one parent who is there for their child and their child only.
The rest of the board is usually really good at keeping that person in their place and reminding them they aren't there for THEIR own child but for the whole school.
You all are still discussing as if any of these issues are purely American.
Back in Canada we have the helicopter parents as much as we have the parents who neglect their kids -- and all the parents along the spectrum -- just like in the USA.
So all the anecdotes are interesting but don't prove anything about why the USA uniquely suffers more school shootings than any other country.
LOL. Theres always this assumption that the golden age of parenting was the prior age, and that all these new parents are doing it wrong.
Yeah no, parenting has been pretty sucky on average for a long long long time.
A very long time, indeed.
"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."
I think parents today are WAY more involved than my parents were for my generation. (Late boomer). Parents today have their kids involved in EVERYTHING. Sports, music, AP classes, etc.
Our parents sent us outside on a Saturday and told us not to return until dinnertime. NOW parents are shuttling their kids all week-end long to one sports even or another - perhaps spending the entire week-end out of town for said sports events.
My Mom dropped me off at gymnastic practice and came back when I was done. Today - many parents even hang around for practices (bad idea though I think).
So I agree with you.
Some parents are way too involved with filling all the kid's time.
There is value in play, from toddlers on up. Kids who were sent out to play until dinner learned all kinds of skills. They were lucky to learn whatever came up they could deal with it. Today's helicopter parented or completely ignored kids don't have a chance to learn that they are competent to handle what comes their way.
So many problems with the USA in general, parenting-problems are a big one.
Just sitting in Starbucks drinking coffee.......watching many obese/grossly-obese parents bringing-in their overweight or obese kids for their morning junkfood-meal.
It's not that they are doing it wrong, it's that the kids are absolutely not getting the same kind of quality attention, time, or discipline that kids used to receive. Of course, many things have changed over the years, and parenting had to change right along with it. But for the most part, children did receive much more guidance and attention from their parents in prior years, mainly because of the way families were structured back then. And although times may have changed, the needs of children have not.
Now, is there an easy solution for this? No, I don't think so. And please, before anyone throws the usual nonsense out there, let me go ahead and say that no, I don't think "the little woman" should be stuck back at home tending to the kids and cooking dinner. What I do think needs to happen is parents need to take more time in planning their schedules in order to maximize the time they have with their children. And that goes for both mom and dad.
Yup, but it's too easy to just chuck an electronic device at them to keep them quiet.
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