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This dramatic and stubborn attitude is why we can't help some of the young people even when we want to. I threw many ideas (which other people were already doing and succeeding) and actually got them interviews, produced resumes, etc. to help them but they did what you are doing- making up things and reasons to fail. Some people want it and some want to complain.
Lol. The only hyperbole on this thread is the nonsense excuses being made by the "have kids or else!" crowd to try to pretend kids are cheap. Everything from attempts to deny housing is expensive to dumb advise about skipping college while being grossly ignorant of how that auto-filters you out of countless jobs - it's all hyperbole and foolish.
I find it ironic that we see many posts attack millennials for bad ecomom is decisions, yet we lampoons them for making one about not having children. I guess it is because they aren't doing what they should do...
Some attacks are legitimately justifiable against millennials. Hell I even join in on them. You know why? They aren't wrong.
Some concerns our generation has are legitimate, outside of our control... Some self induced. What I won't stand for is the woe is me and I am deserving or entitled to x because another generation got to do it and we should do it too.
Matter of fact. I would argue millennials are better than boomers for we faced challenges they never thought of facing. Better yet. I'd love if the generation that grew up in the great depression were still around to tell us just how good we have it and how easy everyone else had it to put things into perspective. I bet they would scoff at the idea of entitlement.
It would be great if instead of crying victim, my generation actually reflected on where they as individuals went wrong, corrected it, moved on, and would stop shrieking no fair, boomers had it easier and coming up with every excuse in the book why they didn't make it. Why they are in debt. Why they can't afford to have kids.
Older generations are not wrong when pointing out factors from the outside looking in. They're not wrong looking to give criticism for criticism is a tool for change. But boomer teachers and professors indoctrinated us with their hippy feels mantra... so get offended cry and retreat to a safe space with an emotional support animal instead of doing something constructive like reflect on where why and how you went wrong and how do you change it...
So, to be clear, you consider desiring to have some leisure time of your own and not having found a suitable partner - the top reasons on that list - "selfish?" What about not being able to afford child care? Is that also "selfish?" Wouldn't it be MORE selfish to have kids with unsuitable partners and then dump them off on their grandparents to raise them?
Oh, if only kids these days would just do the smart thing their parents did! Get hitched to some random person, have a few kids, go crazy with the responsibilities, get divorced, and end up poor, bitter, and posting on internet forums about how awful it is the next generation isn't making the same mistake e?!
Ugh! It's like listening to an old friend of mine at work. He keeps nagging me to "Find some woman to have kids with" while at the same time telling me the stories of his two bitter divorces and how he had to pay for 3 kids college educations AND his grandson because his son-in-law (the kid's father) was some worthless drug addict. Oh, and he's basically given up on women for those reasons?! Oh, yeah! Real inspirational story! Maybe if I play my cards right, I can be just like him!
WHOA! I never said the word "selfish". It's your rant and your decision not to have children.
Sounds very, very wise to me.
Children are a lot of work, just as marriage is a lot of work. Not all people are suited for either one.
Wise people understand that on some level, even if they can't articulate it well.
We put 2 kids through college (no loans) in their chosen fields and neither one has had any problem with jobs. My son will do the same with his 4 children - one already in college. Some people are suited for this stuff and some not - mostly because they don't choose "some random person" as their partner in life and because they got a decent grounding themselves as children.
Boomers were by far the most selfish generation and continue to profiteer off of the backs of Gen Xers and Millenials, continue to crush both of them by screwing them economically with demands that they surrender their social safety nets while demonstrating a complete unwillingness to compromise when it comes to reforming their own governmental benefits. For them to criticize Millenials for have economic fears concerning children is insane given what the Boomers have heaped upon Millenials.
Stop blaming the previous generation(s) for your own failings. I worked 2 jobs before being "forcibly recruited" to 'Nam. I went to the academy and put 25 years on the job before my one good kidney failed on me. Total years working: 40. Nobody gave me jack, and if you think working 16 hours a day was easy, you must have the stamina of superman. My wife and I both worked until I couldn't anymore and we raised 4 kids. Every one of them is a decent human being.
Every generation has challenges, Limey. Stop blaming everyone else and make your own way.
Having kids is a financial negative for those who are responsible and self-supporting. In direct contrast, it's a financial boon for those who receive public assistance as the more kids they have, the greater their public assistance benefits. Anyone with half a lick of common sense can see that we're incentivizing exactly the WRONG behavior in this regard and the end result will be exactly as you describe.
More info on the situation, as I just posted in another thread:
Ever wonder why the out of wedlock birthdrate for blacks was 70%+? Because being a single parent gets you the most government assistance. Having a father in the house, or worse, a working father in the house means the government takes away those free benefits and taxes you more.
So it’s a very no-brained decision for the underclass of America. Have as many kids as possible growing up without a father or father figure in the house.
There is zero penalty, and only incentive, for America’s poor to have kids. They have no money or marketable skill so being paid to have kids they can’t afford is almost too good to be true.
I don't see it that way. Most of these points strike me as a responsible approach to the decision. Not having a partner? Inadequate housing? Not sure I would be a good parent? Still in school?
Would you prefer that people just throw caution to the wind and go ahead and do it anyway? I would not.
I prefer that they do exactly what they are doing and I congratulate them on their self-awareness.
It's always better to think hard before jumping into what is one of the most important life decisions you will ever make ...... bring a child into this world and raising that child to be a productive and well adjusted individual. Nothing more rewarding, but it's not easy.
I don’t want to have children because I don’t want to create the kind of dysfunctional family that I grew up in. I literally would have no idea how to properly raise any children that I might have.
Dysfunctional families aren’t good for anyone involved or for society as a whole.
Only smart, competent people who are good with kids should be having them.
That was a big reason for me, and I made that decision when I was ten years old. Another reason was that I felt no kid deserved the legacy of having my father as a grandfather (that would have been especially unfair since, IMO, I had the best grandfather in history (my mother's father)).
I think a lot of it revolves around Millennials having a good understanding of what it takes to be a parent and taking it very seriously. I have a young adult child who does not wish to have children, and I don't consider it my place to try to convince her otherwise. If she does not think she is up to the task of being a mother, for whatever reason, then she absolutely should not have children. That's the responsible thing to do.
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