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That largely describes the upbringing I had, until my father left home in my early teens. My upbringing was not great by any stretch, and to top it off there were plenty of "men" (teachers, guidance counselors, extended family) who could have stepped in and helped out a young man who could have used it, but they didn't.
That, however, didn't stop me from being a good father myself. I'm not going to let my father's lack of ability to be a parent interfere with mine. We can either learn from our parents and do better, or repeat their mistakes, so frankly this conversation needs to be had and had often, and it needs to be heard loud and clear that just because there are deadbeat dads out there doesn't mean that it has to be a pattern that repeats through the generations. When you're a parent, life is not about you anymore, I think that scares some people, but they don't realize that being involved in raising another human being is one of the most meaningful things they can do, if they can put themselves aside and focus on what's truly important.
People can do better, they just have to choose to.
Originally Posted by erieguy View Post
especially when women choose who to mate and/or marry…while so many are so desperate to be married with children and choose poorly.
How does one choose something? Anything?
No one is desperate to get married and have children.
it never ceases to amaze me how people can be ignorant to the fact that people change. Its also hilarious that you say this about women but never men even though there have just been a number of post about how its more men that are married to women who destroy the marriage, commit adultery, are selfish, put the family into bankruptcy and physically and mentally abuse the entire family who seemed like nice people but just out of the blue.....
Why do men choose so poorly?
Speak for yourself. I raised 4 children who are all responsible and generally happy adults. I've achieved many things in this life and they all pale in comparison to that accomplishment.
I was inspired by the fact that my own father abandoned my brothers and I when I was an infant.
Posts like yours that paint all men in the same light are simply incorrect.
Exactly! I know so many wonderful fathers. What makes one man become a loving, committed, and involved father and another abandon their children (besides addiction) IDK, lack of male role models, lack of religion, lack of good, morally strong women, IDK. But it is certainly not some genetic lack of instinct to care for their offspring.
State Medicaid funds at least 65% of all births in 8 states, red and blue.
A slew of states, red and blue, have crossed the 50% threshold.
The majority are single parent households.
These households are substantially more likely to require 18 years of federal and state financial aid.
Teen pregnancies have reached the lowest point in 75+ years.
Takes both a male and female engaging in unprotected sex to create a fetus, regardless of emotional and cognitive maturity and financial ability to meet the challenge.
Imagine the impact of reversing Roe v Wade and state reaction will cause the number of single parent headed households to substantially increase. Those with means will travel for abortion. Those without means, not so much.
There is no lack of fathers. The are plenty of absent biological fathers not taking co-responsibility for the little human they made with their lover. The story goes: as soon as she says she's pregnant, guy puts pressure on her to get an abortion while he exits stage left.
I know not all men are like that but we all know it is a prevalent problem.Guys if you don't want to have a child get a reversible vasectomy. Anti-abortion lobbyists would not have to protest any more. Vasectomies would tend to eliminate abortion. There are instances of guys with vasectomies getting their partner pregnant but it's rare.
Methods of birth control available for women are not 100% effective. Condoms are the least effective of all of them.
It really is weird that men tell us women it's our fault we got pregnant because we did not keep our knees together or we wore short skirts or we bent over in low rise jeans and our thong showed. Yet, all the while the end goal of a man's pursuit is intercourse, using every tactic they can dream up to persuade us to spread 'em after we have already refused.
Do guys ever say "No"?
And yet... we all know that goofy looking kid sitting a few seats over from you in school, will never have a freaking chance to kiss you, much less get in your pants. Why is that? Simple, women have the power to decide who, what, when and where. Sure, guys might have their hormones ready to be turned on to a full at the drop of a hat, but we cannot do anything you don't want us to. That's why the nerdy average looking guy never had a chance with the prom queen, and he never will.
Exactly! I know so many wonderful fathers. What makes one man become a loving, committed, and involved father and another abandon their children (besides addiction) IDK, lack of male role models, lack of religion, lack of good, morally strong women, IDK. But it is certainly not some genetic lack of instinct to care for their offspring.
Speculation on my part that those born into a single parent households are probably more likely to repeat the pattern.
It's not a shortage of fathers, any man can be a father, but few can earn the title of "Dad". This is exactly what's needed. More men being involved with their families Willing to lead and guide by example.
Being a "Dad" means so much more than telling one's children what to do. It takes commitment, time and effort to become a "Dad." Get your butt off the recliner, shut off the TV, and go play catch or take your kids fishing or out for a walk. Show respect and understanding to others and your children will also. Teach them not to be judgemental of others but rather to observe and evaluate. Give then a desire to learn and understand the world around them. show them there is more to life than X-box and playstation.
State Medicaid funds at least 65% of all births in 8 states, red and blue.
A slew of states, red and blue, have crossed the 50% threshold.
The majority are single parent households.
These households are substantially more likely to require 18 years of federal and state financial aid.
Teen pregnancies have reached the lowest point in 75+ years.
Takes both a male and female engaging in unprotected sex to create a fetus, regardless of emotional and cognitive maturity and financial ability to meet the challenge.
Imagine the impact of reversing Roe v Wade and state reaction will cause the number of single parent headed households to substantially increase. Those with means will travel for abortion. Those without means, not so much.
Buckle up, buttercup.
the majority may be single parent households but a portion of those are couples who wait to get married so their medical bills will be paid or continue to live as a family without a civil marriage to continue to receive benefits.
Quote:
Originally Posted by middle-aged mom
Speculation on my part that those born into a single parent households are probably more likely to repeat the pattern.
Most likely, but it is nice when we hear stories of boys raised in a single parent hh that grow up to be great fathers. If we can manage more of that perhaps the cycle will at least diminish.
It's not a shortage of fathers, any man can be a father, but few can earn the title of "Dad". This is exactly what's needed. More men being involved with their families Willing to lead and guide by example.
Being a "Dad" means so much more than telling one's children what to do. It takes commitment, time and effort to become a "Dad." Get your butt off the recliner, shut off the TV, and go play catch or take your kids fishing or out for a walk. Show respect and understanding to others and your children will also. Teach them not to be judgemental of others but rather to observe and evaluate. Give then a desire to learn and understand the world around them. show them there is more to life than X-box and playstation.
Get involved and make a difference.
Don't rant around them about what is wrong with the world and don't assume that they know all the things you do. In reverse order, when my Father spoke of "Jack Kennedy or Dick Nixon", for the longest while I had no clue of who he was talking about. On that same note, don't assume for the example given that they will see the same obvious viewpoint that you do........they may not respond by "doing the decent thing". Similarly, if you teach them to respond to the sales staff by responding to them telling you the rules by leaving everything to be restocked, we-ll..........
As to the rants of what is wrong with the world, hearing that so often, set up a heck of wall in me when it came to PCP medicine.
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