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Wow, I'm VERY surprised to see so many people giving positive responses about not having kids, that's great! I myself don't have kids, never want them, have never wanted them, I have problems just babysitting my niece & nephew. I've gotten the "oh, you'll change your mind in a few years" & "kids bring such joy into your life" & "your life will be so much more fulfilled w/children" for years now. To that I say have fun w/your kids, I'm heading out w/my friends!
Parents, children, and teenagers always assume that people who never want children are child phobics. They're viewed as selfish, immature, irresponsible, and that no one wants to mate with them. For some reason, people are always asking singles "Why don't you have kids" or "Do you want kids"
If I've ever received harassment from parents, it would usually be from mothers or women who want kids. But I've gotten criticism from some men too.
What's wrong with people who never want kids? What is the perfect answer to "Why don't you want children" or "Do you have them"?
Maybe if people who shouldn't have kids choose not to, we could avoid most child abuse.
Wow, I'm VERY surprised to see so many people giving positive responses about not having kids, that's great! I myself don't have kids, never want them, have never wanted them, I have problems just babysitting my niece & nephew. I've gotten the "oh, you'll change your mind in a few years" & "kids bring such joy into your life" & "your life will be so much more fulfilled w/children" for years now. To that I say have fun w/your kids, I'm heading out w/my friends!
The great thing about nieces and nephews is, when they get on your nerves you can send them home...
Yes, I've heard that too. Apparently, it's okay to treat others like sh*t but expect the most utmost respect in return. Not really fair, but that's how life seems to be.
Like a good number of parents do, yes, I see it.
You and your kids are not special.
If you want respect, you have to earn it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Donna7
And to be truthful, no one else gives a fly f....what you do either. Every time this type of thread gets started on CD, it turns from a supposed "innocent question" about being "child-free" to a child-bashing thread.
Let me say this: for people who are so assured of their life's choices, there is a lot of focus on what other people think and the subsequent need to bash those who have children or bash children in general. Frankly, it's a lot of ado about nothing...unless there is really "something" there. Just chill out!!! Geez, life is too short as is. For people not giving a flying f to what other people think, they sure give a lot of attention to the subject. Suspicious.
And who exactly is turning this into a child-bashing thread?
Look at the posters, and it's not the childfree.
My husband and I have decided we are not having children. Ever.
We don't want children; isn't that good enough of a reason?
I hate when people make comments like "when you start your family...". Or when they ask "how many kids are you going to have?" or some equally presumptuous question and I tell them "none", they continue on with "why not?". Even if I tell them I don't want children, they will continue berating me with questions about my choice. It's MY CHOICE. It's gotten to the point where I no longer argue with these people.
I have had people gasp at me, I have people question my reproductive and mental abilities, I have had people say stupid things like "what kind of a woman are you?" and "don't you know God thinks that's wrong of you?". What century are we in again?
Bashing people who have children? I've never witnessed that. I have witnessed plenty of child-free bashing, though (calling people who are child-less terms like 'selfish', 'immature', and so forth).
Wow! People can be so critical sometimes. I sometimes ask if people have children, but if they answer no, that's where that topic of conversation ends.
As 1/2 of a childfree couple in our 40's, my wife has never mentioned this happening to her nor have I witnessed anything like this. Maybe people are keeping their feelings to themselves or maybe they don't care.
I'm in my late 50s and I used to get questions and comments somewhat frequently.
Hopefully, the times are changing.
I've dated guys who wanted a kid, not me, but a kid.
I'm upfront and if the conversation came up, I told them I was fixed.
You have no idea some of the things that were said.
_________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob The Builder
I have no argument against adopting children that need loving homes. I never said I did.
If parents who want and can have children stopped, then the world would be entirely composed of families raising other people's children.
Many years ago, I considered not having children. A good friend of mine who is the head of the ACLU in a midwestern state, gay and ferociously liberal told me that I owe it to society to have children because they will certainly be of the character to make a positive contribution.
See above in regard to my SPERM.
And if someone told you to jump off of a bridge? Would you feel compelled to do that?
What makes A good friend of mine who is the head of the ACLU in a midwestern state, gay and ferociously liberal told me that I owe it to society to have children because they will certainly be of the character to make a positive contribution. this person's opinion more important than your own self-knowledge? If you don't know yourself well enough to know what you want, you shouldn't be reproducing.
______
I've had people ask me what I'm going to do when I'm old.
They say this as if their kids are going to want to take care of them.
That's no guarantee, just go to any nursing home if you want to see abandoned elderly.
Having kids to take care of you? Having kids so that someone will love you?
Really?
There will always be a number of parents who think that having kids is so wonderful and preferable that you just don't know what you are missing out if you don't experience it.
Those are more than likely the ones that will question (or look down on) those that remain childless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana
I'm for everyone making their own choice. However, knowing the joy of raising children, I think some people who chose not to have kids missed out on a wonderful experience. But you can't have every experience.
It isn't always a wonderful experience ....for the parents and too often, for the kids.
I have both loved my kids and wished there was retroactive birth control that wasn't considered homocide.
I can look back and conceive (no pun intended) of a satisfying life without them.
Wow! People can be so critical sometimes. I sometimes ask if people have children, but if they answer no, that's where the conversation ends.
Yup, the conversation ends ...I've seen the stupid blank look when I say I don't have kids...as if they just can't comprehend that someone isn't like them.
Why do people NEED to know if someone has kids?
Don't they have anything else to talk about??
I mentioned one time to a co-worker that I had a busy weekend....she replied "But you don't have kids, why would you be busy?"
I told her that there were other things in life besides having kids....
(poor thing is now divorced, jobless, and has seven kids....wonder if she remembers what I said....)
Yup, the conversation ends ...I've seen the stupid blank look when I say I don't have kids...as if they just can't comprehend that someone isn't like them.
Why do people NEED to know if someone has kids?
Don't they have anything else to talk about??
I mentioned one time to a co-worker that I had a busy weekend....she replied "But you don't have kids, why would you be busy?"
I told her that there were other things in life besides having kids....
(poor thing is now divorced, jobless, and has seven kids....wonder if she remembers what I said....)
You responded before I edited. If people answer that they don't have kids, I change the subject. And in case you were still refering to me, I am capable of talking about other things.
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Do you look down on people who don't have kids?
