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When you had your babies did you notify the expectant grandparents and tell them how your labor was progressing?Did they come to the hospital and stay in the waiting room?How soon did they visit you and the new baby in the hospital?What were your and their expectations?
When you had your babies did you notify the expectant grandparents and tell them how your labor was progressing?Did they come to the hospital and stay in the waiting room?How soon did they visit you and the new baby in the hospital?What were your and their expectations?
First child we lived 4 hours away from all grandparents. Hubby called after we got admitted to the hospital. My mother left immediately to come. My father and in-laws were not expected to drive the distance, I did not want them to.
After the baby was born (20 something painful hours later ) my dad got in the car and drove over for the day. My mom stayed with us a week because I really wanted her to. My mother-in-law came for a week right after my mom left. When the baby was 8 weeks old we drove the four hours back to our hometown so all extended family could meet him for the first time and he could be baptized.
Personally, I liked "cacooning" when my babies were born - just me and my hubby and baby - with mom there to fix some delicious food and give me an extra hand while I was recovering. The time for an "audience" was later when I was back on my feet
When you had your babies did you notify the expectant grandparents and tell them how your labor was progressing?Did they come to the hospital and stay in the waiting room?How soon did they visit you and the new baby in the hospital?What were your and their expectations?
My only expectation w/ the first 2 and soon to be 3rd is that is 150% about the baby, myself & my husband. It is the one & only time I am completely selfish.
What others need & want (emergencies w/ my other two when #3 is born is the exception) can wait & no, I really don't go out of my way to ask.
My parents live very nearby & have always been involved but never overinvolved. Of course if it is a normal delivery I want my mom there & my dad is great enough to watch the boys. If a c-section, it will be my dh.
My inlaws live 13 hrs away & expect us to travel to them after the baby is born. So, guess they'll be waiting some time & I don't really care. I'm not willingly traveling 13 hrs w/ a 4yr old, 2 yr old & newborn.
With #1, I delivered early & my mom 22 hours away. I went into labor at 11am and delivered at 10:45am the next morning. She arrived via plane 15 minutes later at 11am.
Now, we lived closer and it's easier to plan.
But honestly, it can't be planned w/ 100% accuracy.
Of course my dh will call my parents and his parents when I go into labor.
As for their needs being meet AFTER that, that's all on them. I have more important thing to care about
Our first child, we called everyone when it was time to go to the hospital. Both mothers were there and my father, my DH's best friend, my sister. It was a mad house.
For our 2nd we didn't want anyone there during labor and delivery, he was scheduled so everyone knew when he would be coming so there was no reason to call beforehand but we did call close friends and our parents immediately after. Immediate family came a few hours after the birth for their first visit.
For our third he came unexpectedly and later in the evening so we only called our parents on the way in. My MIL came to the hospital just as they were taking the baby to get cleaned up and while I was being stitched up from the c-section, everyone else waited until the following day.
Our 4th was scheduled and immediate family came to visit a couple hours after the birth.
After the first and having all those people there and all the chaos we definitely chose to have the other births more personal with just my DH and myself. I did not mind having lots of people come up to visit so shortly after the births because I felt great after each one (with the exception of #3, spinal headache. but that didn't happen until 1-2 days later).
My mom was there for all her grandchildren's birth. I don't know what we would have done without her. She cooked, cleaned, and ran errands for my wife while she was recovering. My mom did a much better job than I would have so I am glad she was there. Her mom on the other hand was different. There for all the glory but not afterwards.
I really stressed out about this with my first. I made it clear that only DH would be IN the room. DS came unexpectedly 3 weeks early so all of my worry on this subject was for nothing. My mom and dad were in the waiting room. It was a c-section, so only DH could be IN the room. And the best part - my in-laws were out of state on vacation. Unfortunately my sister, who was planning to be there, but couldn't make it until a day or 2 later. With DS#2, my MIL made sure to be there this time. Her husband stayed home. So, my parents and MIL were in the waiting room for c-section #2. It was scheduled, so we just had to find out when they should arrive in the waiting room.
When my first was born...I called my mom (who was about 2 hours away in another state) to tell her I was in labor. I had previously told her that I really wanted just DH to be there and to give us a couple of bonding days before she came. 2 hours later she was in the waiting room. She told me it was her right as a grandparent to be there. Guess who didn't get a call until after DS (child #2) was born?
While I was estranged from my mother, I did have my stepmother, husband, and best friend present for the birth of my first child. My grandparents took care of us during the first week or so, as I was in a lot of pain and pretty immobile (3rd-degree laceration).
For my second child's birth, my mother, cousin, and sister were present. I really didn't need help afterward, and frankly no one offered.
When you had your babies did you notify the expectant grandparents and tell them how your labor was progressing?Did they come to the hospital and stay in the waiting room?How soon did they visit you and the new baby in the hospital?What were your and their expectations?
My kids are 16, 13, 10 (11 this month). We did not keep the grandparents posted on the progression of labor. I did not want anyone in the waiting room or hospital and told my parents and in laws. My MIL did expect that she would come to the hospital as soon as I was in labor and be there the second the baby was born, but I put an end to that.
I'm with those who think it's best to notify everyone AFTER the baby is delivered. With my first, I notified everyone when I went into labor, and there was way too much DRAMA from the families while I was in labor. It was super stressful for me. After that, I never notified anyone until after babies were born---then most came to visit at the hospital but others visited at home during the first week.
As for needing help at home, I went to my father's house after my first was born. It was a family tradition that families temporarily moved into my parents house after a birth because my parents helped out and the fathers of babies still had to work. Although my mother had died during my pregnancy, we still spent the first two weeks at my family house and my father did a wonderful job taking care of me and the baby while the baby's father was working.
I know most new mothers have a grandmother stay at their house, but we have found that it was easier to stay at the grandparents house. It was a larger home. Grandparents are more comfortable being in their own home. And it's not stressful because it was the family home of the new mother. Plus, mom was a nurse so she ran the house like a hospital----you had your own room and you got your rest! LOL Unique tradition, but it worked out great for my family while my parents were alive.
All of my sisters and their families have done the same. I was the last one to do so because my father died before my little sister had her last children. I believe the tradition started because my oldest sister was terribly ill during her first pregnancy with the first family grandchild. She ended up in intensive care after delivery and needed extensive care for four months with a major surgery scheduled for 6 weeks after delivery.
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) my dad got in the car and drove over for the day. My mom stayed with us a week because I really wanted her to. My mother-in-law came for a week right after my mom left. When the baby was 8 weeks old we drove the four hours back to our hometown so all extended family could meet him for the first time and he could be baptized. 
Guess who didn't get a call until after DS (child #2) was born?
