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The weird part of this story is the OP witnessed it and the "man child" didn't seem to have a problem with that. First it makes me doubt the story (sorry OP) since you could have AND SHOULD HAVE thrown a fit and told everyone you knew about this situation. Second, most people who are into role playing or who have problems like this don't share it with people who just happen to walk thru the front door when they act completely different everywhere else.
Anyway, whether a true story or not, the characters are nuts.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece
The weird part of this story is the OP witnessed it and the "man child" didn't seem to have a problem with that. First it makes me doubt the story (sorry OP) since you could have AND SHOULD HAVE thrown a fit and told everyone you knew about this situation. Second, most people who are into role playing or who have problems like this don't share it with people who just happen to walk thru the front door when they act completely different everywhere else.
Anyway, whether a true story or not, the characters are nuts.
Why so he can out him, shame him, in his 'best interests'?
All in good time. The OP is a good and sensitive friend for not blabbing it to all and sundry.
So how, exactly, did those interactions work while the OP was there? Did his friend break out of infancy character and speak to the OP as an adult, then immediately drop back into child mode when speaking to his mother? How did he speak to his brothers? Was he switching back and forth from one personality to another to deal with the different people in the room, or did he talk baby talk to everyone, including the OP?
So how, exactly, did those interactions work while the OP was there? Did his friend break out of infancy character and speak to the OP as an adult, then immediately drop back into child mode when speaking to his mother? How did he speak to his brothers? Was he switching back and forth from one personality to another to deal with the different people in the room, or did he talk baby talk to everyone, including the OP?
He doesn't talk or act like an infant just a child. As far as his conversation they are pretty normal even at home except for his wording for some stuff. He still talks in a normal pitched voice. Now the playing with toys and nakedness is another thing. I have researched adult baby fetish because of this and dont think it's that. He doesn't sleep in a crib or suck om a pacifier or anything like those people do. This guy seems like he just wants to be a kid. As far as my relationship I believe in accepting people and believe this guy needs help not humiliation.
Alright, I have a good friend who is 22 years old, about to turn 23. From knowing him, he seems like a very competent, intelligent dude, who is also a very attractive jock type and has a way with the ladies. He is completely normal in every way when in public. He graduated from a prestigious college and works a very good job. He lives with his parents though and today I went over to his house and was quite surprised by what I saw.
Apparently when he's at home, he assumes the role of a 5 or 6 year old boy. He cries or throws a fit when he doesn't get his way. He runs around naked all the time, or "with his wee-wee showing" as he says it, and his room is full of toys and looks like a child's room. I got over to his house and found him in his room on the floor naked playing with legos. He asked me to play with him and reluctantly I did for a few minutes. He loves watching blue's clues and veggietales. He calls his mother "mommy" and tells her when he has to "go potty". Needless to say I am quite baffled by this and wonder what might cause him to act this way. I asked his mom and she said it started when he came back from college.
I ended up having to leave because it was time for his "nappie-pooh" (nap) haha.
What would cause a 22 year old man to act so childlike when at home? I did a google and discovered something called adult baby syndrome but that doesn't fit because he doesn't act like an infant but a very young boy and as far as I know it isn't a sexual fetish. He has a girlfriend and everything seems normal there. Anybody heard of anything like this?
First, it's called infantilism. For some people it's a fetish, for others it's not.
Psychodynamically, you can think of it as an extreme form of wish fulfillment or magical thinking used to manage the stress of his adult life. Speaking hypothetically--because I have never met your friend, so I can't say what his exact motivations are--a person may find some part(s) of his adult life too stressful to bear everywhere all the time. So to escape that stress for a while, he creates an environment where he can avoid that stress by not being an adult. To an infantilist, "not being an adult" means "being a child". Children don't have the responsibilities of adults, nor are they expected to have them. Children get nurtured and taken care of, unlike adults who are expected either to nurture themselves, or not need nurturing at all. He gets to play with fun toys, watch TV programs that he likes and generally put his adult life aside for a while and relax.
As to how it comes about, who can say? A behaviorist might say that the roleplay decreases his inner tension, which is negative reinforcement (meaning that the behavior rewards him by removing something unpleasant). Erikson might describe it as a failure to resolve an adult identity in the fifth stage leading to regression and role confusion.
From what you described, it sounds harmless enough. He does it at home, in private, not out in public, true? The rest of his life is manageable--his bills get paid, he's gainfully employed, he's in a romantic relationship, yes?
Have you tried talking to him about it, and ask him why he does it or how he got started doing it? He may find it a bit embarrassing to talk about. On the other hand, he's the best source for understanding why he does it.
Why so he can out him, shame him, in his 'best interests'?
All in good time. The OP is a good and sensitive friend for not blabbing it to all and sundry.
Agreed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece
The weird part of this story is the OP witnessed it and the "man child" didn't seem to have a problem with that. First it makes me doubt the story (sorry OP) since you could have AND SHOULD HAVE thrown a fit and told everyone you knew about this situation. Second, most people who are into role playing or who have problems like this don't share it with people who just happen to walk thru the front door when they act completely different everywhere else.
Anyway, whether a true story or not, the characters are nuts.
At home, the guy's in "kidspace"; this is how he is at home. It's not really different from a guy who comes home, changes from a polished professional in his suit and tie into a sweatpants-and-jersey hockey superfan in front of his TV. This is just a more extreme version.
As as for throwing a fit, if he manages stress by regressing, making him feel ashamed will just make him do it more. And cry, because little kids often cry when their stressed.
He doesn't talk or act like an infant just a child. As far as his conversation they are pretty normal even at home except for his wording for some stuff. He still talks in a normal pitched voice. Now the playing with toys and nakedness is another thing. I have researched adult baby fetish because of this and dont think it's that. He doesn't sleep in a crib or suck om a pacifier or anything like those people do. This guy seems like he just wants to be a kid. As far as my relationship I believe in accepting people and believe this guy needs help not humiliation.
Yeah, but most kids don't get to walk around the house naked. It seems overly indulgent for the Mom not to insist that he at least put his clothes on around her and his brothers. Trying not to be judgemental I know first had that it is difficult sometimes for a parent to understand where the line is between being understanding and being an enabler.
It could be a sign of narcissistic personality disorder. NPD is much, much more complex than most people (and even many therapists) understand. One of the characteristics can be behaving or appearing like a young toddler. Sometimes when NPD men speak, they can sound like a little boy or even a woman or a little girl. Only the people they are most intimately connected to -- family -- will see this behavior.
I have never seen this characteristic described in the professional literature, but I have had it confirmed by psychologists who specialize in NPD.
This is not to say, at all, that the person has NPD. That is a complicated diagnosis that should only be made by a psychiatrist or psychologist (e.g., someone with very advanced training in mental health) and preferably one who specializes in treating NPD.
There are many other characteristics that go along with NPD: rage, high feelings of entitlement, extreme manipulation. One of the primary characteristics is the inability to say thank you. They can mouth the words (although sometimes with great difficulty) but when they do, there is no real affective (emotional) substance behind them. They are also often very charming, often very intelligent, and more often than not, you won't know you know one until you've crossed him and incur his rage.
The internet has a lot of information about narcissism, but I would caution you to read it with a great deal of discrimination. There is one self-proclaimed expert who has a few good points to make, but much of it is ... something to ignore.
Narcissistic personality disorder is much more than the "big ego" that people commonly believe. It is highly, highly complex. Look for a psychologist or therapist who works from the Heinz Kohut school of psychology. It has been shown to be highly effective in treating NPD. And, in my experience, it is worlds more effective for anyone seeking therapy.
All of this is not to say, by any means, that your friend has NPD. It is just one possibility, and this aspect of NPD is so little known that I thought I'd say something.
I might appear a bit "infantile" at home if you stuck voyeur cameras in my house, especially in my relationship with my mother. Although I talk normally, many of our "exchanges" contain words like "napadingo", "night-night" (sleep), "seepie" (sleep), "wuv" (love), etc. I give her hugs and she kisses my forehead numerous times a day. I even "blank her up" (by tucking the blankets in under her neck and wrapping them around), and sometimes she blanks me up. She calls me "baby" or "Jouma" and I call her "mama" or "Houma".
This all isn't a bizarre fetish, it's rather affection. Affection is one of the few things that keeps us sane along all that we've been through: my father's death, my brain tumor diagnosis, the loss of our business, and a million other things. Our future is uncertain, as well. Through all the hard times, the doubtful times, the marginal times, the poor times, affection often serves as the only morsel of sweetness in our lives.
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