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Nope, thats not it. know that for sure. I give people a lot of space while still showing interest. Fine line, I know, but I'm not possessive or clingy. Not me at all. The fact is now that I've worked on myself all these years and become a better communicator, my age is working against me. I can't win.
Well, I'm glad to hear that, Atl. Clingy is a deal-breaker. I have read a number of your posts and nothing negative comes across in your writing, which is fine. Don't give up due to age. We got married at 50.
My grandpa got re-married at 94.
And if you are "showing interest" that is key. I wonder what it is that's holding you back. Have friends or therapists offered anything?
At any rate, it's awful to feel such a lack. The heart wants what it wants, they say.
Well, I'm glad to hear that, Atl. Clingy is a deal-breaker. I have read a number of your posts and nothing negative comes across in your writing, which is fine. Don't give up due to age. We got married at 50.
My grandpa got re-married at 94.
And if you are "showing interest" that is key. I wonder what it is that's holding you back. Have friends or therapists offered anything?
At any rate, it's awful to feel such a lack. The heart wants what it wants, they say.
I agree clingy is a deal breaker. I have a life (though it's not what I want) and don't need to be around someone 24/7. I have plenty of interests outside of a relationship.
No, they really haven't offered much. Female friends wonder why I'm single. I really think its location. I've been trying to get out of here for years, but can't get any traction.
no , i dont believe a healthy person can be happy while remaining single forever
If someone has a strong desire for marriage, then no, they won't be happy single forever. There are truly people who are single by circumstance, not by choice.
Also, if a person's biological clock is ticking and they don't want to do parenting solo, it can be very tough for them to accept singleness. It's even worse when we live in a society that doesn't acknowledge being alone as a form of loss. Of course, this doesn't fit into the politically correct narrative. And they have to contend with myths and stereotypes about unmarried people; supposedly, singles are supposed to "travel a lot" but the ability to do lots of traveling is a function of money plus time one can take off from work. Not everyone has the kind of career where they can afford to jet set around the globe.
if someone has a strong desire for marriage, then no, they won't be happy single forever. There are truly people who are single by circumstance, not by choice.
Also, if a person's biological clock is ticking and they don't want to do parenting solo, it can be very tough for them to accept singleness. It's even worse when we live in a society that doesn't acknowledge being alone as a form of loss. And they have to contend with myths and stereotypes about unmarried people; supposedly, singles are supposed to "travel a lot" which is absurd, as the ability to do lots of traveling is a function of money plus time one can take off from work.
Two things. First, I don't think I ever had a choice. From the beginning of time, I don't think I was ever meant to have a mate. From now back to the time of the starting of my soul, it just seems that I was never meant to.
Secondly, you know what they say, "Money can't buy happiness but it is easier to cry in the back of your Mercedes than on your bicycle.". My life may be, because I am a loner, cosmically screwed, but I live in a nice house without debt, with my own forest........it is not really wretched and miserable, is it?
Sound like a nice life to me. Personally I don't mind being alone and actually enjoy my personal space and solitude; but I also have the normal sexual desires and needs that most people possess, so it would be nice to have a more reliable outlet for that. The older I get, the more I believe that it's not necessarily a bad thing to simply have a FWB situation. I used to have a much more rigid, conservative view on the subject, but I've become a bit more liberal-minded in certain areas as I've grown older (I'm 45 now). But actually living full-time with another person is a big commitment, and I don't believe that type of living arrangement is ideal for everybody. For a live-together arrangement to work, both parties have to give and take and compromise to such an extent that it's not a good fit for some. Being alone is freeing and liberating -- although it can get lonely, as well, of course.
Sound like a nice life to me. Personally I don't mind being alone and actually enjoy my personal space and solitude; but I also have the normal sexual desires and needs that most people possess, so it would be nice to have a more reliable outlet for that. The older I get, the more I believe that it's not necessarily a bad thing to simply have a FWB situation. I used to have a much more rigid, conservative view on the subject, but I've become a bit more liberal-minded in certain areas as I've grown older (I'm 45 now). But actually living full-time with another person is a big commitment, and I don't believe that type of living arrangement is ideal for everybody. For a live-together arrangement to work, both parties have to give and take and compromise to such an extent that it's not a good fit for some. Being alone is freeing and liberating -- although it can get lonely, as well, of course.
I can't remember where I read it, but I read somewhere that studies found couples (not married) that lived in their own individual places and not together, seemed to last longer. A big reason was that it forced them to give each other enough space and made them value the other more. But also gave them peace at home, not having to compromise on certain things.
I love that I have my place and it has the furniture, look and feel that I want and I don't have to compromise on that. Sure I am willing to compromise sharing my space with someone I love, but they had better be damn special and someone that I have been in a relationship with for a long long time.
I think in life everything needs a balance and that includes relationships.
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