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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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I rarely have a dream that isn't in some way negative, bordering on a nightmare. Every morning I wake up anxious and dreading to face the day, it's been many years since I've leapt out of bed just roaring to go. Even exciting things like going on holiday no longer fill me with much joy. The prospect of little fills me with joy, all I see is negativity and hopelessness.
Firstly the big existential questions. I fear death but I find life incredibly boring and pointless. The world is full of suffering, and I feel I've wasted so much energy thinking negatively.
Believe it or not as a kid I used to be such a happy go lucky person, albeit a bit shy, but even in my teens I was always smiling. I remember people saying 'why do you smile so much?' While I still smile easily now, I'm getting frown lines.
A good 80% of my thoughts are negative. Obsessing over something, dreading something, being depressed. Happiness is the exception rather than the rule, and I'm relying on meds. Without them, I'd be worse. I feel I'm stuck in this mode of thinking I'll never get out of it. Is it possible to reverse something that has been entrenched for years? I have negative thoughts towards religion, for instance, which causes me fear. There's an inner conflict raging and it's taking any joy out of life out of me.
You could try some kind of cognitive therapy. Some people find that a group like Krishna Consciousness or a practice like TM if you aren't the joining type is very helpful. Have you explored any of those?
sometimes life is a chore and a big bore. try to find something a hobby or a sport that will give you some kind of happiness no matter how small. with exercise your endorphins will kick in and make you feel better. there are people who feel depressed when they don't exercise and need to run or do something else almost daily.
figure out how you really feel about religion, there is no fear without religion if you don't believe in it. some people even fear god when they do believe in it. religion gives lots of people peace of mind. do some research about it, read about lots of religion and philosophy and figure it out.
yes you can find happiness in your life. some of what you may be experiencing is a type of addiction to the negative. with any addiction you have to learn how to stop listening to the junkie thinking you indulge in. that takes practice and takes time.
find someone you trust and can talk to and keep talking, re train your thinking and find something that gives you pleasure. then build on it!
Exercise and sleep really help minimize negative thoughts. Another important thing is to try to embrace your negative thoughts. Instead of being horrified by them, say "so what." Also try to limit how much time you spend thinking about negative thoughts. Set aside a certain time in the day where you'll spend 30 minutes to an hour on negative thoughts.
You're relying on meds, so clearly you have an OCD diagnosis from a professional. When was the last time you saw your therapist? Is it possible your therapist isn't aware that you are now depressed? Your medication might need to be changed or adjusted.
I think part of the issue for some of the people expressing these feelings is high intelligence level. Ignorance is bliss. But you all are obviously deep thinkers and probably 'high i.q.' individuals. That is a blessing and maybe more-so a curse.
Can you think of something that would make you happy? Even if it is impossible, improbable, silly, etc. I'd be interested to know: what would make you happier? Do you know that answer?
Every morning I wake up anxious and dreading to face the day,>>>Trimac20
Judging by your statements, peace is wanting.
Peace of mind is a spiritual condition based on faith and hope. Something to believe in that offers a rescue from this world of trials and tribulations.
We all face this world and all it has to offer....which is nothing good, for it is all geared for the pleasure/pain and suffering of the flesh.
But spiritually wise, there is hope and peace freely given, save we just reach out to attain it.
A peace that will dispel all negativity, that overcomes all worldly darts, that overcomes the flesh regardless of physical condition.
Knowledge of, has to be received,(Eaten if you will) digested and believed upon and faith placed on it.
The word "lest" denotes choice which is given freely to us, should we desire to partake or not.
Study to learn what God has to offer and you shall see that all is not what it seems to be, that real life exists in the midst of the flesh. (world).
Peace of mind is a spiritual condition based on faith and hope. Something to believe in that offers a rescue from this world of trials and tribulations.
We all face this world and all it has to offer....which is nothing good, for it is all geared for the pleasure/pain and suffering of the flesh.
But spiritually wise, there is hope and peace freely given, save we just reach out to attain it.
A peace that will dispel all negativity, that overcomes all worldly darts, that overcomes the flesh regardless of physical condition.
Knowledge of, has to be received,(Eaten if you will) digested and believed upon and faith placed on it.
The word "lest" denotes choice which is given freely to us, should we desire to partake or not.
Study to learn what God has to offer and you shall see that all is not what it seems to be, that real life exists in the midst of the flesh. (world).
Blessings, AJ
More God is the last thing she needs since her negative thoughts are religious based. Religion messes up so many people. It's such a shame.
Did something happen when you were 13 that changed your life?
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