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Have any of you had any luck in forgiving yourself for things that you did as a child, or forgiving others for not providing what would be a normal parenting skill?
Long story short, I just hit 50, lived here for over 25 years and was raised in Europe. As a child, my dad left for London, and my mum raised 5 of us with no support financially. When I was 9, my sister was in a bad accident and was in hospital for 6 months, my mum went to visit her daily, leaving the three younger children alone and locked out of the house. My mum didn't really provide the compassion, empathy and concern for the three younger ones ; yes, she was overwhelmed and would tell us even to this day that it was a burden to raise us all alone.
During this time, a neighbor started molesting me, rewarding me with money and candy. This went on for 4 years until I stopped going to his apartment. I find it very difficult to stop blaming myself for this situation, after all, I was the person going to the apartment and so I feel that I brought it on myself.
I also find it very hard to forgive my mother for not providing a safe environment, and for choosing to give the older two children preferential treatment. When I was younger and before I had my own children, I did understand that she was overwhelmed and she did the best she could. However, my kids are teens now, and since they were born, I have wondered how a mother can choose some children over others.
I asked my mum once why she went to the hospital every day and her answer was that my sister asked her to. When I replied that I was just 9, she walked away.
My mum is 91 now, in great physical and mental health, lives alone and does all her daily chores herself. However, even still if we argue with her, she will first say ; after all I did for you, I raised you all on my own and this is the thanks you give me.
The abuser is probably long dead now. But the memories still live on in my mind. Whenever things are in the news about abuse, it brings it all back and I would like to be able to put a lid on it once and for all. I have done therapy but it is still very hard to talk about it.
Have you ever read "Mans Search for Meaning?"
Its a book by Victor Frankle (sic) and his experience in Nazi War Camps.
You might find solace and comfort in this work and reading what innocent men, women and children went through during WW3.
Check it out on You Tube. The book is cheap---and quite a good read.
Have you ever read "Mans Search for Meaning?"
Its a book by Victor Frankle (sic) and his experience in Nazi War Camps.
You might find solace and comfort in this work and reading what innocent men, women and children went through during WW3.
Check it out on You Tube. The book is cheap---and quite a good read.
I think you mean WW2. Yes..it was a great story and Great Message. And his real name is "Viktor Frankl"
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