How do you cope with feeling expendable and unimportant? (therapy, mentally, men)
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I've come to the realization that the world would function perfectly fine without me, and that I'm not important. I'm just a number. If for some reason I wasn't here tomorrow, the world would be just fine. I wouldn't be noted in any history books and in 100 years no one would know who I am, let alone 1,000 years from now.
Should I approach this by making peace with this fact, or by trying to become famous by doing good deeds? I guess I'm a bit sad that my actions won't fundamentally influence the course of human civilization or the universe's continuity.
Our sphere of influence is usually limited to a very small circle of family and friends. In some professions, what we do in the course of our daily interactions may influence the people we are with in a more profound way. For example, teachers can influence their students if not for a lifetime - then at least for a particular point in someone's life.
One's reason for being on the planet is not necessarily to discover a cure for cancer. We are all simply functioning as part of a bigger collective. It takes many different functions to keep society moving . . . and being a parent is certainly an important role to making sure children become productive members of society.
We interact with our family, our neighbors and whatever other institutions are part of our lives -- be it in a job or through a church or some group. The highest thing we can aspire to is to be a good parent, a good neighbor, a law-abiding citizen, etc. We can influence others lives through volunteer work as well as monetary contributions to good causes.
The most important thing we can do is simply do what is right in all our dealings. It is not important that most of our destinies are to be remembered by only a small group of people. As long as we did our best to treat others fairly and be a responsible member of society, then we have lived "good" lives. The key is to find satisfaction in the things we do, to know we have been fair in our dealings with others . . . not to be "famous" or do something remarkable that gets our name as a footnote in some history book.
If we should happen to contribute something remarkable, then that is great! But just being a good person who deals fairly with others is a worthy goal for a life well-spent.
Yes, I think you should make peace with "this fact"...It's the same for us all...not many of us can "fundamentally influence the course of civilization" or the "universe's continuity"...
1) depression
2) apathy
3) anger that gets directed towards some swath of society, or specific individuals.
4) distractions that a vast majority of people engage in because more people realize they're unimportant in the grand scheme than most would enjoy admitting.
5) realizing they aren't or assuming they aren't in certain aspect in niche areas or to specific people and accepting that miniscule win.
I've come to the realization that the world would function perfectly fine without me, and that I'm not important. I'm just a number. If for some reason I wasn't here tomorrow, the world would be just fine. I wouldn't be noted in any history books and in 100 years no one would know who I am, let alone 1,000 years from now.
Should I approach this by making peace with this fact, or by trying to become famous by doing good deeds? I guess I'm a bit sad that my actions won't fundamentally influence the course of human civilization or the universe's continuity.
also, humanity as a whole probably won't influence the universe's continuity. we'll just be a blip in.
Get "It's a Wonderful Life" on DVD and sit down and watch it.
The message is important: Becoming rich and famous is NOT required to make a HUGE impact on the world. Instead, you have an effect on every person you meet, and that effect ripples outward though them to others. Taking "you" out of the world would have a big effect on many.
Sure it's an old black & white feel-good movie, but I believe the message is relevant.
We ordinary people do have a profound effect on many others, mostly without even knowing it. That's more important than our name being in history books and remembered hundreds of years later. Ted Bundy's name will be remembered. Jeffrey Dahmer's name will be remembered. Hitler is in all the history books. So is Pol Pot. Being famous and remembered by history isn't necessarily a good thing.
The goal should not be to become famous (we see too many examples of people who are quite useless and just awful human beings, but they're just famous for being famous). The goal should be to make a positive effect on as many as you can.
It's often the little things we do for others or say to others that has a big impact. For example, when I left a mental health clinic where I'd worked about 12 years, I had many clients and ex-clients come to say goodbye, and mention some random thing I'd said to them years ago that made a big positive impact on them. Years later, they would quote me in trying to help others in similar situations. And most of these things I didn't even remember saying! Same with little favors I had done that I didn't even remember doing. THAT is something that be carried through generations. So 100 years from now, no one will know who TracySam was, but some person will be telling their teenager some piece of wisdom they picked up from their grandparent, who happened to be my therapy client 100 years earlier. Who cares if anyone knows my name?
So try to do good for others. Big things, little things, medium things, doesn't matter. Think of it like life is a computer game in which you collect "points" for good works: 2 points for holding a door for an old lady, 10 points for donating to a dog & cat rescue, 20 points for pulling over in the rain and giving someone's car a jump, 500 points for donating a kidney, whatever. Make it your goal to attain as many points as you can. And every time your positive effect is carried on by someone, that "ripple" also gives you "points."
Whether you believe in God, do-unto-others, or in karma, or the forces of the universe, natural law, or the big computer game of life, the point is the same: what you put out will come back at you.
Get "It's a Wonderful Life" on DVD and sit down and watch it.
The message is important: Becoming rich and famous is NOT required to make a HUGE impact on the world. Instead, you have an effect on every person you meet, and that effect ripples outward though them to others. Taking "you" out of the world would have a big effect on many.
Sure it's an old black & white feel-good movie, but I believe the message is relevant.
We ordinary people do have a profound effect on many others, mostly without even knowing it. That's more important than our name being in history books and remembered hundreds of years later. Ted Bundy's name will be remembered. Jeffrey Dahmer's name will be remembered. Hitler is in all the history books. So is Pol Pot. Being famous and remembered by history isn't necessarily a good thing.
The goal should not be to become famous (we see too many examples of people who are quite useless and just awful human beings, but they're just famous for being famous). The goal should be to make a positive effect on as many as you can.
It's often the little things we do for others or say to others that has a big impact. For example, when I left a mental health clinic where I'd worked about 12 years, I had many clients and ex-clients come to say goodbye, and mention some random thing I'd said to them years ago that made a big positive impact on them. Years later, they would quote me in trying to help others in similar situations. And most of these things I didn't even remember saying! Same with little favors I had done that I didn't even remember doing. THAT is something that be carried through generations. So 100 years from now, no one will know who TracySam was, but some person will be telling their teenager some piece of wisdom they picked up from their grandparent, who happened to be my therapy client 100 years earlier. Who cares if anyone knows my name?
So try to do good for others. Big things, little things, medium things, doesn't matter. Think of it like life is a computer game in which you collect "points" for good works: 2 points for holding a door for an old lady, 10 points for donating to a dog & cat rescue, 20 points for pulling over in the rain and giving someone's car a jump, 500 points for donating a kidney, whatever. Make it your goal to attain as many points as you can. And every time your positive effect is carried on by someone, that "ripple" also gives you "points."
Whether you believe in God, do-unto-others, or in karma, or the forces of the universe, natural law, or the big computer game of life, the point is the same: what you put out will come back at you.
A very useful and helpful post.
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