I've Changed My Mind!! Am I Now Considered A Criminal!! (issues, relationship)

[tijlover]

What do you think is behind these people, especially those with elephantine memories, who catch you changing your mind on something and making you feel like a criminal afterwards, or feeling deeply embarrassed?

As the saying goes: only a fool never changes his mind!

How many times have you heard it: I remember you saying X number of months, years ago...........you would never do this or that! And then you get that puzzling look!

And there you go, trying to defend yourself!

I've been guilty of it myself, and worse yet, I have one of those elephantine memories, and I've taken it to cruel levels as well!

My brother-in-law told me 3 decades ago: When I retire, no more Minnesota winters!

Now retired for 10 years, he never stops complaining of those cold, cruel winters and he has the resources to retire anywhere.

And there I go: I distinctly recall hearing you 3 decades ago, telling me...............................

[brokensky]

People who make a big deal about folks changing their opinion are asses.

We all grow and change.

Why would anyone care what someone said 30 years ago, except as something interesting that shows how experience and time can change a person's opinions?

[tijlover]

I've been telling friends/relatives, for years now, I'm planning on retiring in Tucson one day. But on a recent trip to Sacramento, I'm now reconsidering. I posted that on Facebook.

"Gettin' a little indecisive in your old age? I thought Tucson was set in stone! Make up your mind!"

[Billy_J]

It depends on the situation of course. But between me and my male friends, it is all in fun - kidding, teasing, etc.

However it could be quite serious, if it is something you tell a kid or person in a relationship, "we are going to do", then not do whatever it is. Or promise you will never do something [bad] again, then do it.

[Tracysherm]

I think it's normal for all of us to change our minds, especially about things we had planned to do, as we learn, grow, and gather more information.

I do, however, have a problem with people changing their mind about their opinions on very important issues. Unless they can clearly describe the turning point when their opinion changed, I have trouble believing they will stay faithful to any other important opinions they say they hold. If they can't describe the turning point, then they just sound fickle, like they can just change their opinion on a whim, or according to the latest blog they've read.

This is why a lot of us have a problem with politicians who "flip flop" on important issues. Unless they experienced a real life-altering turning point, they just look untrustworthy, and that they can just switch their opinion when they watch which way the wind is blowing.

With people in my life, I usually don't take this as seriously as I'm describing unless THEY take an issue very seriously, and they're very vocal about it. At those time I WILL point out how they are being inconsistent from the opinions they previously espoused and ask them how their opinion on something they have such passion about could change so drastically. When they can describe their turning point, I can respect them, perhaps even more than I did previously. When they cannot, I lose respect for them. I'm talking about important issues, not "I used to not like red wine and now I do."

[Adhom]

"I'd never hurt anyone in a fit of anger," you used to say. Years later you stab someone because he made fun of your hat. Yeah, now you're considered a criminal.

[molukai]

"I'm going to be a bully and mess with EVERYONE because I am generally regarded as the most popular person in my social group."

20 years later...

"Hey, I changed! And it's not because I have a minimum wage job, look terrible, and have no general aim in life! I know I bullied you to near suicide back in the day, but... be my friend!"

HOW DO YOU RESPOND? GO.

[DiscombobulateYa]

Every bodies quick to see,and point out in others,what they least expect is in themselves as well.