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It matters because you cannot really know another person fully or even partially satisfactorily if an enormous part of their live is left a secret or not talked about in any way.
So are you saying you want to get to know these two men fully?..or even "partially satisfactorily"?..cause if not...it doesn't matter.
Mordant and I Am Woman, would you want to get sexually involved with one of the men in the house if you were a woman and did not know if the man was sexually active with men or not? And whether or not he has had anal intercourse without protection which makes him open to HIV infection?
Would you want to get sexually active with ANY man if you didn't know them?..cause without protection, that could make YOU open to HIV infection....are you with a man?..and ( if you are) did you ask him if he's ever had anal intercourse with anyone before he met you?
Last edited by purehuman; 07-13-2013 at 05:13 PM..
Would you assume that two men are gay who are now age 60 and 63 and have lived together for 33 years?
The first 13 years they lived with a variety of male roommates plus the two men.
The past 20 years it has been just the two men living in the house. They own the house together.
Why would someone care?
I personally never assume what someone is doing in their bedroom, whether it's batsuits, leather, or whipped cream and cherries. I also could care less who they're doing it with unless it's with a minor or my dog.
I guess my point is: Except for infidelity, why should anyone care what someone else is doing in their bedroom? It's only relevant to people who want to pass judgment on others.
I want to add that in my life when I was in college I mostly hung out with straight guys who did not worry if people thought they were gay or not because they were secure with their sexual orientation.
Then in the past few years I actually had a straight guy lie to me and tell me he was gay thinking it would cause me to help him more. It did not and while that is sociopathic behavior I find it interesting that in a world where many gay guys feel the need to stay in the closet in my world I met a straight guy who felt the need to well be in the closet on being straight lol
I am straight and have quite a few gay friends who I hang around with regularly, so yes, the question comes up quite frequently- "Are you gay?" I've never felt getting asked this was an insult. My quick answer is "No- just happy!"
Why is the accusation of homosexuality such an insult?
It always seems to bring out the worst in people. Why is this?
Ozzy, I think two reasons this accusation can get a person (especially a man) fired up..
One, if it's not true, the accused may not like for his sexuality to be misrepresented. It's not necessarily a moral judgment on homosexuality, it's just that he/she doesn't like the inaccurate characterization.
Second, it depends on the spirit of the accusation.. If a dude is being called 'gay' as a challenge to his manhood, that might get met w/resistance. If the accused realizes the accusation is being done to portray him as soft or weak.. he's gonna bristle.
I've noticed something interesting as I have grown older...
That is with the people doing the accusing (men mostly), the accusations are proportional to the accuser's sex drive.
So basically there are no accusations of other men being gay prior to puberty. Then the accusations peak around ages 16, 17, 18. Then slowly dwindle off after that.
And men pretty much do not accuse other men of being gay as they get older 40, 50, and up.
So if they have no sex urge or a lower sexual urge, then they also have no interest in accusing other men of being gay!
So why do these men feel an urge to accuse other men of being gay only when they have a strong sex urge? [Busted! Perhaps they WANT these other men to be gay?]
(Another clue is why do they care if another guy is gay or not? Why the interest?)
Why is the accusation of homosexuality such an insult?
It seems like this is the best "backhanded" way to insult someone, without actually using profanity or inappropriate/aggressive language.
It always seems to bring out the worst in people. Why is this?
I LOVED Johnny Galecki's response.
I don't think homosexuality is a big deal at all; I don't see being called homosexual as an insult, but I'm not, so I'm sure those on the receiving end of the "insults" (which only come from narrow-minded sorts with very low self-esteem) must feel terrible.
I guess if someone ever said that to me as a backhanded way to insult me, I'd blow them a kiss, wink, bat my eyelashes, or do something else "suggestive" and laugh it off -- literally laugh while looking at them -- in their face.
I don't know why this is still something people feel they have to hide; it's always puzzled me, and it's a shame, because I value honesty more than any other human characteristic, and if someone I know or respect or appreciate (even in media) "hides" this, it makes me sad and feel a little let down.
But to answer your question, I think insulting people's homosexuality is a very childish, playground-era sort of behavior that has seen its day and is finally moving on.
If my dar goes off and I think a man is gay it's a compliment because I have way more trust in a gay guy than a straight guy. A lot of straight guys are horrible to women.
As for women I think if a woman is gay a woman is gay. Doesn't change anything. I've only been called a lesbian by my stupid ex but I'd react the same to anyone that I did with him and just laugh saying something like "are you serious?" because if anyone knew me at all they would know I'm almost the further est thing from it.
But nevertheless I can understand why people would get upset about it. This is a community that has been ostracized for a long time. As for why someone uses it as an insult, it's just because being gay is different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J
I've noticed something interesting as I have grown older...
That is with the people doing the accusing (men mostly), the accusations are proportional to the accuser's sex drive.
So basically there are no accusations of other men being gay prior to puberty. Then the accusations peak around ages 16, 17, 18. Then slowly dwindle off after that.
And men pretty much do not accuse other men of being gay as they get older 40, 50, and up.
So if they have no sex urge or a lower sexual urge, then they also have no interest in accusing other men of being gay!
So why do these men feel an urge to accuse other men of being gay only when they have a strong sex urge? [Busted! Perhaps they WANT these other men to be gay?]
(Another clue is why do they care if another guy is gay or not? Why the interest?)
Well they usually think that the gay guys will try and hit on them or something. At least that is what they say. Maybe their testosterone gets them more paranoid about it. But I think that is a funny excuse because they are often only speaking for themselves. Women have more to worry about with a guy like you than you would with a gay guy.
Last edited by Nickchick; 07-27-2015 at 08:54 PM..
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