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I was just reading another post in a different forum and something occurred to me.
As a small child I was always very content to sit and play quietly by myself. I have photos of myself at around a year old sitting on the floor looking at books (something I still do to this day, more than 50 years later).
Part of the reason, I suppose that I learned early to amuse myself was that I am an only child and I was raised in an environment where there were rarely other children around. None of the adults had any interest in "entertaining" me and it was pretty much up to me to entertain myself.
On the other hand, I have been very "to myself" and quiet. Even when I had other children to play with, I often preferred to simply wander off and play by myself. Not always, but sometimes.
Those of you who are introverts, were you always such? Or do you feel that your childhood influenced that? Was there a point in your life where you suddenly became more introverted for whatever reason? I find that I have gotten much more introverted in the past 20 years that I had been previously.
What I am trying to determine, by asking this question is how much of introvert behavior is nature and how much is nurture.
Introversion and extraversion are on a continuum. In my childhood, I was more extraverted and was so in business, because I was in sales. Now I am more introverted. On the Myers-Briggs Inventory, I am something like 49E 51I, so I can go either way.
People, noise and chaos drain me. I need to recharge alone. I detest large crowds. Some of that is preference, some processing issues, and some energetic issues (on the plus and minus side).
My preferences, in my old age, are much more introverted . . .in my youth, my preferences were much more extraverted. It's what works during different phases of life.
I consider myself an extroverted introvert. I had 5 brothers and sisters but our parents didn't encourage us to get along. I felt pretty lonely growing up and would go for walks in the woods to get away from the noise at home. I attended church once a week and was "forced" to socialize in a good way. I give my church experience a lot of credit for making me more social and learning better manners. In school I wasn't popular and didn't have any real friends, although I hung out with a few people because we had similar interests.
Today I would consider myself introverted, but I can socialize with people when I need to. I still don't have a lot of friends and I don't hang out on Facebook every 5 minutes. I think it's a combination of nature and nurture.
I was just reading another post in a different forum and something occurred to me.
As a small child I was always very content to sit and play quietly by myself. I have photos of myself at around a year old sitting on the floor looking at books (something I still do to this day, more than 50 years later).
Part of the reason, I suppose that I learned early to amuse myself was that I am an only child and I was raised in an environment where there were rarely other children around. None of the adults had any interest in "entertaining" me and it was pretty much up to me to entertain myself.
On the other hand, I have been very "to myself" and quiet. Even when I had other children to play with, I often preferred to simply wander off and play by myself. Not always, but sometimes.
Those of you who are introverts, were you always such? Or do you feel that your childhood influenced that? Was there a point in your life where you suddenly became more introverted for whatever reason? I find that I have gotten much more introverted in the past 20 years that I had been previously.
What I am trying to determine, by asking this question is how much of introvert behavior is nature and how much is nurture.
What are your thoughts?
20yrsinBranson
My story is pretty much the same as yours. As an introvert, I do not go out of my way to be around others or crave constant interaction with people, but I am not shy either. I would say, that as a child I was shy, simply because of being and only child and spending a massive amount of time playing alone without much interaction with others, compared to kids from bustling families. I grew out of the awkward shyness as I got older.
My mother is a good example of the opposite. She was raised in a family of 8 people, has tons of siblings, and can hardly stand to be alone for 1 hour.
I think a lot of it has to do with childhood conditioning when our young brains are being wired early-on.
I spent A LOT of time alone as a kid and learned to function independently.
I LIKE being alone...I don't understand when people ask friends over to watch a movie...that just seems silly to me.
I don't mind doing things one on one with other people like go out to dinner but often times I see that as cutting into MY time.Honestly I don't dislike people I just don't really see the benefit of investing much into relationships that I don't really feel I need. I'm sure this has at times made my life more difficult than what it really needs to be but a little inconvience from time to time seems like a small price to pay considering the effort I am not wasting trying to make people feel happy when I feel very little.
Oddly enough I will absolutely go out of my way to help strangers (change a tire or whatever) I'm not a selfish person (I don't think). I just don't really need other people actively playing a huge role in my life.
I have some people I consider good friends but I don't see them often and I don't go out of my way to make more.
No as a child was more outgoing and confident? I dont know if outgoing is an appropriate term. People tell me I'm different than when I was a child. Now I'm very introverted
From my earliest recollection i preferred to play alone, taking walks and noticing the natural world. Had couple neighborhood kids as friends but if they were not available, i would play paper dolls or read in my room. Now as an adult, i quite prefer solitude to gregarious get-togethers; i'm content with one or two invitations a year from friends/neighbors to a backyard BBQ or celebrate something with them. I enjoy traveling alone; my schedule, pattern, choice of sight-seeing is entirely mine.
Really don't think of myself as shy; i do like people and tend to be more outward with those individuals i encounter while traveling or on a day trip/outing because there are no strings attached or false promises to keep... we share a happy moment in time and while i will never see them again in this lifetime, i enjoyed their company and was glad our paths crossed
Those of you who are introverts, were you always such? Or do you feel that your childhood influenced that? Was there a point in your life where you suddenly became more introverted for whatever reason? I find that I have gotten much more introverted in the past 20 years that I had been previously.
I was bullied a lot when I was younger, and I am also gay, so am very wary of people, thus it's more comfortable for me to keep people at bay...to hold them away...to to avoid social situations. Social situations are "work" for me as I am always on-gaurd, and also having to deal with this ingrained fear or nervousness or dread...that butterflys in the stomach that comes when entering a threatening situation...which is how I see social situations (going to a party, etc).
This accounts for my introversion, as well as for my self-reliance. I sort of pine for a sense of community or a circle of freinds, the conviviality of all that, but that is not to be.
From my earliest recollection i preferred to play alone, taking walks and noticing the natural world.
This describes me to a T.
But since I spent my childhood in a city, It was more exploring my immediate neighborhood. When we moved to Kentucky it was as you said...outside in the hills, hollows, fields and forests and out along the creek, etc....
I am not really introverted by nature, but I was raised in a semi-rural neighborhood with no other siblings or neighbor kids. I learned to play by myself just fine. I don't mind groups or crowds, but quiet time on my own holds no horrors either. I've been able to find a good balance in my life these days.
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