Why so many elderly people are hypervigilant? (therapy, men, college)

[Javier77]

I've noticed, especially on the bus and metro, that a huge percentage of elderly people fall into the "hypervigilant" category.

Not because any threat, or fear, or anything like that....they just seem to be completely focused on any single movement that happens in their surrounding.

We all check our surroundings when we are in a public place, that's just normal. When you enter in the bus, you look around, a sweeping stare so you identify free seats and a general make up of the passengers. But after a while, you relax and get inmersed in your own thoughts and stop paying attention. But many elderly people do not.

They just stare at any single movement, sound, activity anywhere around them. It's a little bit intrusive...each time I enter, or leave, or stand up, or move aside or whatever, I can feel the piercing inquisitive stare of some elderly person "checking what I do". In some extreme cases, I've seen elderly people openly commenting on somebody else, in a loud voice, in such a very rude way, like if they dindt give a flop whether the person in question noticed they are talking about him/her or not.


So I wonder what the reasons might be.

- Genetic? We all age, and our brains lose power, so we become more and more basic and become like children who get "estimulated" by any source of movement around them?

-Social? After many decades in this world, we become bored and we crave for actitivity around us, a little bit like "death is round the corner, so let's have as much reality and life before it's too late"?

- Any other?

[mordant]

I don't see much of what you're describing so it's either less prevalent in my college community or more annoying to you and thus more noticed. Probably both.

My take on it is that as one grows older and more frail, if your thinking is not very supple, and/or you are not very curious, you will tend to cling to "the way things are supposed to be" in order to protect yourself from your own leaky abstractions.

I once saw this humorously portrayed as an elderly monologue along these lines: "As I get older I can't believe how the world is changing. Things are further away from each other than they used to be, scales report more weight than they used to, mirrors are distorted to show people shorter and wider than they are, everything moves faster. It's some sort of conspiracy. Something ought to be done about it."

So I'm guessing that these folk you describe are just seeing things that violate their predetermined notions of reality and blame the resulting cognitive dissonance on Other People. The biggest and most fundamental way in which their reality is violated is that their own denied mortality is staring them in the face. They are dying and so they manufacture more manageable "problems" in others that they can feel they have a grip on -- more, rather than less, control than others, especially the young others.

[kevxu]

Is it possible that you come off as some wild-eyed paranoid wonk and they are warning others about you.

[Billy_J]

Perhaps you are good looking and they like to look at good looking people? (That may be the extent of their love life.)

Or a Darwin thing - those humans who live the longest have that trait?

Maybe they are bored and have nothing better to do? I had an elderly lady neighbor who came over to my house and saw that I was remodeling. She said I should install a large front window - not the smallish windows I was putting in. I asked why? She said so I could watch my neighbors! I said I had better things to do...

[Miss Hepburn]

Intersting observation.
At first, I would say being hypervig.is WAY because they are SO vulnerable.
They know they can be prey to bullies and thieves...probably know many stories from the
Senior Center...pushed down for their purses and such.
Gosh, in this angry culture with such violent numbing things to watch....no wonder.
Then, I think 'the bus experience'...I see who is at the bus stops and I wouldnt want to sit next to them...
I want to give them money and a better coat!

Then, they do become like children in so many ways, don't they.

One way is they really don't care what someone else thinks at this point...they will say
what's on their mind in a huff often....a decade ago I was traumatized by a 90 yr old witchy
neighbor...and would say I hated old people...I have softened since.
(No one on my block liked her, she really always had been this way since 1965 I heard...they
only get worse, I'm told.)
It's not like many have gone to therapy...so they get more scared, more untrusting, more awnry and
domineering, often.

But, this commenting and noticing any movement is new for me.
Talking loudly, of course...they don't realize everyone can hear them, probably...
and don't care.

Hmm, maybe bec their life is so boring they can latch onto a fly buzzing in a window?
I dunno...

[ocnjgirl]

I work with elderly people, and IMO it's simply because they are more vulnerable. A blind man on a bus would be hypervigilant and clutch his belongings close, a deaf person might be hypervigilant, a person who had a handicap that affected his balance would be hypervigilant when in a crowd where he could be knocked over accidentally....so welcome to old age, where you may be ALL these things to some degree all at the same time. There's nothing really psychologically complex about it, no 'denial of death", etc, it's just the knowledge that if someone bumps you, you could end up with a broken hip, if someone wants to take your money, they can...vulnerability makes people more cautious, it's natural.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by ocnjgirl

I work with elderly people, and IMO it's simply because they are more vulnerable. A blind man on a bus would be hypervigilant and clutch his belongings close, a deaf person might be hypervigilant, a person who had a handicap that affected his balance would be hypervigilant when in a crowd where he could be knocked over accidentally....so welcome to old age, where you may be ALL these things to some degree all at the same time. There's nothing really psychologically complex about it, no 'denial of death", etc, it's just the knowledge that if someone bumps you, you could end up with a broken hip, if someone wants to take your money, they can...vulnerability makes people more cautious, it's natural.

Yes, exactly.

[kitteagirl]

I think older adults have just experienced so much life that they are on the look out for anything abnormal. My mother is that way...she is 89 years old. She is not living in the generation in which she grew up and lived most of her life. She is constantly pointing out things to me that are strange to her (but normal to me). Also, there is so much bad news on tv about muggings and other attacks. Older adults know that they are more vulnerable. Don't take is personally that they seem to be watching you. It's nothing personal. People are living longer now, but the world around them is very strange to them.

[Siggy20]

Originally Posted by ocnjgirl

I work with elderly people, and IMO it's simply because they are more vulnerable. A blind man on a bus would be hypervigilant and clutch his belongings close, a deaf person might be hypervigilant, a person who had a handicap that affected his balance would be hypervigilant when in a crowd where he could be knocked over accidentally....so welcome to old age, where you may be ALL these things to some degree all at the same time. There's nothing really psychologically complex about it, no 'denial of death", etc, it's just the knowledge that if someone bumps you, you could end up with a broken hip, if someone wants to take your money, they can...vulnerability makes people more cautious, it's natural.

Very accurate observation.

We visited my dad last summer and I had the chance to observe him as he was walking back to the hotel with his wife. I could see some of this hypervigilance on his face as he was walking down the sidewalk. Grim, wide eyed looking. Very stressed. It broke my heart in a way. He is slowly losing his eye sight so he is feeling quite vulnerable. He is in his mid 80s.

I find that he is quite hypervigilant about me as well. He is ALWAYS worrying about my health and brings it up in every conversation. Unfortunately I am going through some serious health issues and wonder how much I should tell him. His worst fears have come true. Very hard and I don't want to add to his stress.

[Javier77]

I agree there's a part of fragility and vulnerability.

But there's other part of just don´t giving a flop about what other people think. (in a negative way)

For example, I went once with my mother to a cinema to see 7 Years in Tibet, by Brad Pitt. The movie is slow and boring as hell. Most of the audience were elderly people....and most of them kept commenting the film like if they were at home watching tv.

Obviously the experience was a nightmare for me, the only thing I remember from that day is elderly people talking all over the place.

In some other cases, you get this nice elderly couple sitting on a bench , and all of a sudden one of them points at some random passerbyer and says "look that (insert derogatory term) over there", or older men staring in a perverted dirty way at a young woman,making her feel uncomfortable.