Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was violently and completely unexpectedly raped by an acquaintance when I was in college. This was not a case of date rape - we weren't on any sort of date and no drinking or drugs were involved - it was in the middle of the day and not only was I completely shocked, I was traumatized. This was the one time in my life when I internalized a lot of my anxiety and psychological damage - and I did learn from that experience in many ways. I bottled it up, didn't address my emotional needs or my anger, didn't press charges, didn't seek medical attention, wouldn't let myself think about it, did all the wrong things psychologically, and I paid for that dearly over time.
<snipped>
Did you later think you should have filed charges and perhaps he would still be in prison?
How do you deal with a life changing experience that traumatizes you psychologically and scars you emotionally for life? It doesn't necessarily need to be a life and death situation, just something profoundly sad and tragic that have an adverse impact to your outlook of life, life experience and perception of people in general.
Time and work and finding aspects to make you content which leads to happiness. Eventually, everything fades away.
My method is the easy way out. I just pick up the basket of crap that lands in my head and pass it up to God. "here. please take care of this for me and don't let me think about it" It works really well for me cuz I know He loves me and wants to help me.
I’m a religious person myself. This is also how I deal with it on the spiritual level, but I’m still struggling on daily basis. It’s tough trying to put it behind. My traumatic incident happened in 2008. I still have problem with it six years later. I’m not sure if it is PTSD but I do experience similar symptoms. Sight, sound and sometimes remotely related or even seemingly unrelated things can bring it back to surface. It’s a terrible experience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
My point in all this is that yes - we need to be introspective to a point. But there's a big difference between working through something with a sense of purpose and a determination to overcome it, and allowing ourselves to wallow in self pity or fear.
Very well said. Sorry to learn about your horrific ordeal. You’re a tough survivor.
Thanks all for your inputs and support. God bless.
I’m a religious person myself. This is also how I deal with it on the spiritual level, but I’m still struggling on daily basis. It’s tough trying to put it behind. My traumatic incident happened in 2008. I still have problem with it six years later. I’m not sure if it is PTSD but I do experience similar symptoms. Sight, sound and sometimes remotely related or even seemingly unrelated things can bring it back to surface. It’s a terrible experience.
Very well said. Sorry to learn about your horrific ordeal. You’re a tough survivor.
Thanks all for your inputs and support. God bless.
It sounds like you do have some PTSD - which is, by the way, a NORMAL reaction. My son has PTSD after spending 20 months in a combat zone in Iraq. His counselor told him, "PTSD is a normal reaction to a very abnormal event or series of events." That makes sense to me.
Are your reactions to stimuli lessening over time? If so, that's very good and should continue.
I mentioned that I still can't stand rape scenes in movies or on TV. Sometimes I have to get up and leave the room. I don't make a big stink out of it or run screaming from the room, but it's just something that I will probably never feel casual or comfortable watching. I'm OK with that.
But prior to DEALING with the memories and subsequent guilt, self destructive tendencies, etc. I couldn't even bear to think about it. Now I can teach classes at the womens' shelter, describing my experience and emotions in great detail, and it doesn't bother me at all. I had to process the event, MAKE myself recall it, think through it, and forgive myself for my own poor decisions afterward. It's like I had to assimilate it into my life, into the fabric of my being, into my own personal history. Yes, I'll even go so far to say this - I had to acknowledge and even embrace that even this event is something that shaped who I am today. I like myself, and I might not be who I am today if it wasn't for that day 30 years ago. That's just the simple truth of it. It is what it is and I am who I am.
Could you apply any of that to your situation, OP?
I'm glad you have the strength to turn it into something so positive and inspiring which is highly commendable.
As for my situation, I'm trying to deal with it in my own way which is slow and difficult. It doesn't help with my tendency to take people and things way too seriously even with those that don't deserve to be taken seriously. I also tend to blame myself on a lot things, sometimes even things that seemingly have nothing to do with me. It's a silly sickness which I'm trying hard to cure myself. I need to learn how to let go and take things easy. There're a lot of things and people that don't deserve my attention at all.
I've been quite ill for the past ten years. I have enough to deal with. I can really do without this PTSD thing.
If it's not a lost life ...
You get over it and learn from it.
Thats life!
Remember this:
There are always others who have been more traumatized than you
unfortunately - that is life!
THINGS HAPPEN ... just how life is!
This is not helpful at all.
One persons trauma doesn't negate or remove the pain of another person's trauma. Somebody else has it worse, so what? How is that helpful to the OP?
To say "get over it" and suggest it's just a part of life is not helpful in any way shape or form. It makes a traumatized person feel insignificant, worthless, hopeless and even more alone.
I will be paying close attention to this thread & am thankful for the opinions stated here. I finally sought help this year after not being able to move on. My husband's death was ugly in every way. But in talking it out with a professional, I am finally facing the more traumatizing events that occurred in my formative years. Those events shaped the kind of person I became - one who straightaway married into a dysfunctional relationship.
OP, I finally see that I will never get over the events that scarred me. I used to be so envious of the people who DID get over their own battles....until I saw that it was not that they actually got over them per se....more like they have learned how to go on "around" them.
I hope this thread will help you and I'm glad you started it.
It’s tough trying to put it behind. My traumatic incident happened in 2008. I still have problem with it six years later.
It wasn't until I was 40 that I realized what had happened to me before I was even a teenager. So I had a bit of a slap upside my head HOWEVER I took courses in Victim Advocacy with the AF then the Navy. Wow it made me face the facts of those events and it also taught me a lot about my own behavior (much of it self-destructive).
If you were victimized you are not at fault. But the world doesn't always get it. Like the armed NYPD male who was assaulted. Then re-victimized by his fellow officers.
Searching for Angela Shelton is an interesting film.
Just know you aren't alone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
