Psychological Masochism (psychologist, addiction, college, thoughts)

[Clark Park]

I am not a psychologist, a mental health expert, or anything like that but I am beginning to think there are two kinds of Masochists out there: sexual Masochists and psychological Masochists. I would like to hear comments and observations from others about this theory of mine, whether it seems plausible or if I'm way off base.

Sexual masochism is part of the B/D/S/M culture and involves the fetishes that some people find sexy such as being spanked, or tied up, wearing black leather, or rubber. Some people get a thrill from going beyond "vanilla sex." It's not my scene, but who am I to judge?

Now, I observed there can a person who is a psychological Masochist who wants to feel pain and be hurt gets no sexual gratification out of it. One example might be a person - such as an adolescent girl - who cuts herself and bleeds but is most definitely NOT trying to commit suicide. I think it's called "Non Suicidal Self Injury" or NSSI.

Another example can be a person who wants to beaten up, punched, pushed to the ground and kicked. What sane well adjusted person would want to be treated like that? I can offer a possibility: if the person suffers from extremely low self esteem - self loathing really - they may feel the need to be punished. This person might explain "I'm nothing. I'm nobody. I'm a loser and a failure. I am a worthless piece of sh*t. I deserve punishment and degradation." From feeling this person is a failure along comes a sense of shame, and punishment has a redemptive aspect in regards to shame.

Any thoughts or opinions?

[Aleister Crowley]

These are all aspects of what is known as projection. Displacing ones own personal dissatisfaction upon themselves or another because they lack healthy coping strategies. They know no other way, when shown a different way they typically reject a healthier outlook in life. Like any substance abuse addiction, many die before hitting rock bottom in life.

[CSD610]

This is old news and something I studied when I was in college. I doubt anyone has come up with any new concepts regarding this issue recently.

[Billy_J]

Yes I think you can distinguish the sexual type from the "psychological" type!

I have read a bit on the sexual type. The book I read mentions people who are "big shots" in life. Those who are constantly telling others what to do or are responsible for what others do. Like a CEO who may be responsible for hundreds or thousands of employees. Police officer, etc.

With some of those people, when it comes to sex, they feel "relaxed" when someone else is in charge for a change. So they may want their sex partner to lead them around on a leash - tell them what to do. Physically move them around on the bed - and they just follow along and do what they are told. I don't know about the "whips and chains" part or if that has anything to do with this?

[Clark Park]

Originally Posted by Aleister Crowley

These are all aspects of what is known as projection. Displacing ones own personal dissatisfaction upon themselves or another because they lack healthy coping strategies. They know no other way, when shown a different way they typically reject a healthier outlook in life. Like any substance abuse addiction, many die before hitting rock bottom in life.

Thanks for this intelligent comment.

I'm not quite sure psychological masochism is the same as substance abuse addiction, I agree that many do not seek help and seem to find comfort in wallowing in despair.

When it comes to individuals who inflict pain on themselves the most typical and commonplace example is people who cut themselves. Overwhelmingly it is adolescent girls who do this. As I said before the goal is not to commit suicide, but I do think it is a cry for help.