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That is so scary I thought stuff like that only happened in gothic novels.
I've never met a real person with this syndrome in fact, it's crazy that people like that exist.
On the other hand, I think we have to be careful when we're judging, especially people we don't know well - there are all sorts of chronic illnesses and health conditions that are invisible to others - including those they can't diagnose yet, or the untreatable exclusion diagnoses - chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, IBS, etc., that could appear as though the person is faking it for those who don't know.
I've personally been struggling with a whole host of symptoms for years now, even though doctors repeatedly shrug and tell me all tests come back normal and they don't know what's wrong with me. But I'll get debilitating fatigue, random spells of nausea and dizziness, weakness, chills, stomach pain, etc etc. I'm sure to someone else it could seem like I'm faking; certainly my husband gets to hear the brunt of it because I do vent to him, but luckily he takes my word for it even without a diagnosis.
It's easy to think a person is making this stuff up, but as I've sadly discovered, our medicine is still very far from knowing everything there is to know. If you search the Web, it's shocking and very sad to see how many people there are suffering from all sorts of extremely debilitating symptoms for years that severely impact their quality of life, that countless doctors and specialists can't find a cause for - I'm talking people vomiting after every meal, or having chronic diarrhea, or passing out constantly, or having fevers every day, etc etc etc. Any thread about these types of systemic symptoms generally has hundreds of posts complaining of the same thing, with no solutions. And these people have been to doctor after doctor and done every test under the sun, only to be told they're perfectly healthy. Sorry for the off-topic, just this is something that really scares and frustrates me about modern medicine.
While you're right that we shouldn't judge people with symptoms that evade a diagnosis, I don't think that is Munchausen Syndrome. It could be hypochondria if some is always imagining that they truly are ill, but in MS, people are pretending to be ill for attention. They know they aren't ill, but tell others they are.
I had never met anyone with MS either, and am still not 100% sure that's what's going on with the woman I know, but given her actions over the past couple of months and particularly over the past week, it makes more sense than anything else.
I've also worked with someone who faked a brain tumor to cover up his drug habit. It took over a year for most of us to figure it out, and then he was fired.
I've also worked with someone who faked a brain tumor to cover up his drug habit. It took over a year for most of us to figure it out, and then he was fired.
A friend of a friend did this. He told his family that he had cancer instead of telling them that he was seeking treatment for his heroin addiction.
I'm the OP. I keep thinking that other info will filter down the pipeline about the woman I mentioned. If she was faking her illness, she went to great lengths. For a couple of days she looked bruised on her face and had a bandage on her head. I asked if she'd been in a car wreck and she said it was from one of her treatments. Then, she claimed that she was approved for an experimental treatment and she supposedly went out of state for one treatment of whatever it was. When she came back she looked horrible with very dark circles under her eyes and when she walked whe was bent over like an old lady.
Two weeks later, after someone accused of faking it all, I saw her and she looked like the picture of health. No dark circles, beautiful clear skin and talking about taking a cross-country road trip.
Either the experimental drug was a miracle cure, or... she's faking. I can't figure any other explanation for the quick turnaround.
People who lie about bruises are often covering domestic abuse!
Kathryn, you and your father handle your mother better than I ever could. I don't think I could even begin to deal with things the way you too have.
Thank you. My mother is an emotional/mental mess, but she's honestly got a good heart in so many ways. I think she is in such denial about her own state of mind and her own emotional baggage (and she has quite a bit from her childhood) - she's too old to regroup, I think. She is what she is. We're not going to throw her to the wayside, but we're also not going to cater to her various neuroses.
I find it very disturbing how many people are willing to diagnose someone when they are not doctors, and do not know the individual's actual medical information.
Certainly, there are people who have this psychological condition. But it is FAR more common that people are actually very ill and just do not have the right diagnosis yet. Chronic disease is extremely common and on the rise in the US, and around the world. It took me a several years to get a Dx of a rare neuro-immune disease. As a patient, you're sick - you can hardly think straight much less know what doctor you should go to. Then most of the doctors you visit are in the wrong field from the origin of your illness (because you have a lot of symptoms, so hard to know who you should go to), or because the condition is rare so they don't know about it. Some conditions do not have names yet, or have a name but no treatment yet.
I now have plenty of medical documentation and labs proving that I am in fact struggling with a life-threatening disease that leaves me with almost no Natural Killer cell function (thus ability to fight cancers), frequent infection, etc. But the labs to prove this are not routine, I had to find one of only 5 specialists in the country who could even perform the test. So for years, I had no documentation of what was wrong, and did not look too sick on the outside.
Because this disease is rare, the patient community is pretty tight. I have never met a person yet who has not dealt with years of absolutely cruel and inhumane treatment by people in the community, employers, and "friends" and "loved ones," who are so quick to blame them for "faking," or for being "mentally ill." I also know quite a few people who ended up eventually being diagnosed with cancers, MS, Lyme disease, Fibromyalgia, Acute Porphyria, and so many other illnesses that can be chronic and have vague mixed symptoms for years - ALL who were treated the same way.
Since when have we become a society that hates weakness (illness as we perceive it) so much that we have no compassion for someone who doesn't feel well? It is extremely rare for someone to fake being ill when there is nothing wrong, because it is absolutely a miserable experience to be stuck at home, lose income and friends and relationships all because you aren't well enough to keep up anymore. It is terrifying to not know what is happening to your body, but to feel it failing and have nothing you can do about it. It is absolute torture on top of that to have friends turn their backs on you, and doctors you visit be disrespectful simply because they have ego in the game and want to think that if they can't find it, there must be nothing wrong.
The OP, and a number of other posters, do not have any legitimate reason to claim the person they know is not really ill. And again, Munchausen is not nearly as common as the MILLIONS of people who have chronic illnesses that have not be diagnosed yet - and who need to have the good fortune to have the money and luck to be near a good doctor and pay for their testing - most of which is rare enough that it is not covered by insurance. My blood tests for instance cost $2,000 out of my pocket - but they sure as hell came back off the charts abnormal, after all those years of cruelty by others who were supposed to love and stand by me. Why should you default to assuming the person is lying, when statistically it is FAR more common that the person is actually medically ill but has not had the right diagnosis yet?
How about defaulting to compassion? In the end, is it really such skin off your nose to be kind to a person who didn't deserve your worry (after all, they have a mental illness then for you to be concerned for them about anyway, which still deserves compassion), versus to turn out to have been accidentally cruel for years to someone who was actually struggling for their life all along? Which is the kind of person you want to live with yourself being in the end?
Most people with a chronic illness do not "look" sick - whatever the hell that means. Even cancer patients do not look ill until they are late Stage IV, it is the treatment that makes them look ill - and you have to have a diagnosis in the first place to even get the treatment.
We in society are pushed constantly to try to look our best, not to be a "victim," to hide our weakness - and then when we try to look healthy and act normal to keep our friends, we are punished for being too successful, for "looking too healthy to really be that sick". I have the same disease, but I am treated with 1,000 times more kindness on the days when I need to use my walker, than on the days I am able to walk by myself. WHY? I am still fighting for my life, both days, and still in a lot of pain.
May the people on this thread never get a chronic disease like the millions of your neighbors, co-workers, friends, and family who have them, and are forced to struggle and fear for their lives all alone.
Again, I know this psychological condition exists, but it is very rare. Until you have a positive diagnosis from a licensed professional (and many times even they turn out to be wrong and the autopsy confirms there actually was disease in the body), you are not qualified to diagnose this person yourself with Munchausen's.
Consider that MS, AIDS, ME/CFS, Fibromyalgia, Lyme's... all were considered to be mental illnesses and were diagnosed as such, even leading to people being locked to die in psychiatric wards with no medical treatment, until scientists discovered proof that... oops, they were real all along.
Try a little compassion -it won't kill you. But keeping it from your suffering loved one, might kill them. Many die with no treatment, and the autopsy reveals what it was. Many others commit suicide from the pain of the constant rejection. Even after diagnosis, sometimes people still want to cling to their belief that the person is mentally ill, because now they're used to relating to you like that. Nearly every person with a chronic illness has a story to tell you about having experienced this from people they trusted and needed.
Last edited by StarfishKey; 05-30-2014 at 06:15 PM..
I'm the OP. I'm sorry for what you've been through and hope you get the medical treatment you need.
The woman I'm talking about did not have mysterious symptoms that defied diagnosis. She told everyone she had leukemia but didn't want to tell her family because they dealt with serious illness by ignoring it. (Her father is a doctor.) She received nothing but compassion from her coworkers who took her food and looked after her when she was "sick." In April she was supposedly at death's door when she was approved for an experimental treatment. She received one round of treatment, looked terrible for two weeks and then showed up at work looking very healthy.
About this time, one of her coworkers who had taken her into her home to care for her apparently became suspicious and said publicly that she was faking it. The next day the "sick" woman quit her job and left town. She's now on FB saying that she's taking a cross country trip and writing a book.
There's not a single mention on her FB page about being ill or participating in a clinical drug trial. I could go on and on because as it turns out, lots of people, including some who had dealt with leukemia, were uneasy about her story but didn't want to say anything because it sounded mean.
This woman took advantage of people's compassion and kindness. She is absolutely not in the same position as someone who has a mysterious cluster of symptoms and has been to multiple doctors trying to figure out what is going on.
Munchausen Syndrome is a real mental condition. The fact that some people are legitimately ill doesn't mean that another person can't be faking illness.
I find it very disturbing how many people are willing to diagnose someone when they are not doctors, and do not know the individual's actual medical information.
Certainly, there are people who have this psychological condition. But it is FAR more common that people are actually very ill and just do not have the right diagnosis yet. Chronic disease is extremely common and on the rise in the US, and around the world. It took me a several years to get a Dx of a rare neuro-immune disease. As a patient, you're sick - you can hardly think straight much less know what doctor you should go to. Then most of the doctors you visit are in the wrong field from the origin of your illness (because you have a lot of symptoms, so hard to know who you should go to), or because the condition is rare so they don't know about it. Some conditions do not have names yet, or have a name but no treatment yet.
I now have plenty of medical documentation and labs proving that I am in fact struggling with a life-threatening disease that leaves me with almost no Natural Killer cell function (thus ability to fight cancers), frequent infection, etc. But the labs to prove this are not routine, I had to find one of only 5 specialists in the country who could even perform the test. So for years, I had no documentation of what was wrong, and did not look too sick on the outside.
Because this disease is rare, the patient community is pretty tight. I have never met a person yet who has not dealt with years of absolutely cruel and inhumane treatment by people in the community, employers, and "friends" and "loved ones," who are so quick to blame them for "faking," or for being "mentally ill." I also know quite a few people who ended up eventually being diagnosed with cancers, MS, Lyme disease, Fibromyalgia, Acute Porphyria, and so many other illnesses that can be chronic and have vague mixed symptoms for years - ALL who were treated the same way.
Since when have we become a society that hates weakness (illness as we perceive it) so much that we have no compassion for someone who doesn't feel well? It is extremely rare for someone to fake being ill when there is nothing wrong, because it is absolutely a miserable experience to be stuck at home, lose income and friends and relationships all because you aren't well enough to keep up anymore. It is terrifying to not know what is happening to your body, but to feel it failing and have nothing you can do about it. It is absolute torture on top of that to have friends turn their backs on you, and doctors you visit be disrespectful simply because they have ego in the game and want to think that if they can't find it, there must be nothing wrong.
The OP, and a number of other posters, do not have any legitimate reason to claim the person they know is not really ill. And again, Munchausen is not nearly as common as the MILLIONS of people who have chronic illnesses that have not be diagnosed yet - and who need to have the good fortune to have the money and luck to be near a good doctor and pay for their testing - most of which is rare enough that it is not covered by insurance. My blood tests for instance cost $2,000 out of my pocket - but they sure as hell came back off the charts abnormal, after all those years of cruelty by others who were supposed to love and stand by me. Why should you default to assuming the person is lying, when statistically it is FAR more common that the person is actually medically ill but has not had the right diagnosis yet?
How about defaulting to compassion? In the end, is it really such skin off your nose to be kind to a person who didn't deserve your worry (after all, they have a mental illness then for you to be concerned for them about anyway, which still deserves compassion), versus to turn out to have been accidentally cruel for years to someone who was actually struggling for their life all along? Which is the kind of person you want to live with yourself being in the end?
Most people with a chronic illness do not "look" sick - whatever the hell that means. Even cancer patients do not look ill until they are late Stage IV, it is the treatment that makes them look ill - and you have to have a diagnosis in the first place to even get the treatment.
We in society are pushed constantly to try to look our best, not to be a "victim," to hide our weakness - and then when we try to look healthy and act normal to keep our friends, we are punished for being too successful, for "looking too healthy to really be that sick". I have the same disease, but I am treated with 1,000 times more kindness on the days when I need to use my walker, than on the days I am able to walk by myself. WHY? I am still fighting for my life, both days, and still in a lot of pain.
May the people on this thread never get a chronic disease like the millions of your neighbors, co-workers, friends, and family who have them, and are forced to struggle and fear for their lives all alone.
Again, I know this psychological condition exists, but it is very rare. Until you have a positive diagnosis from a licensed professional (and many times even they turn out to be wrong and the autopsy confirms there actually was disease in the body), you are not qualified to diagnose this person yourself with Munchausen's.
Consider that MS, AIDS, ME/CFS, Fibromyalgia, Lyme's... all were considered to be mental illnesses and were diagnosed as such, even leading to people being locked to die in psychiatric wards with no medical treatment, until scientists discovered proof that... oops, they were real all along.
Try a little compassion -it won't kill you. But keeping it from your suffering loved one, might kill them. Many die with no treatment, and the autopsy reveals what it was. Many others commit suicide from the pain of the constant rejection. Even after diagnosis, sometimes people still want to cling to their belief that the person is mentally ill, because now they're used to relating to you like that. Nearly every person with a chronic illness has a story to tell you about having experienced this from people they trusted and needed.
I'm sorry you're ill. What's the name of your condition, by the way? I'd like to research it.
My mother's condition is nothing like yours from what I can tell. My mother's condition IS mental. She is in her late seventies and can still walk two miles a day - sometimes three. Here's how her show plays out - she will have a friend who has diabetes and SUDDENLY, BINGO - SHE HAS DIABETES TOO! Except, she doesn't. This doesn't stop her from telling people she has diabetes, adopting the diabetic diet, and insisting that her doctor doesn't know what he's talking about when her blood sugar tests come back perfectly normal.
She will read an article on, for instance, deep vein thrombosis and suddenly - WOW, SHE'S GOT DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS (and diabetes). She will lay up in bed, tell people she's on the verge of death due to a blood clot that's about to break off and kill her - she will rewrite her will (I am being completely serious), and once again, go into a tirade against the doctors who tell her that no, she doesn't have deep vein thrombosis. After a few days, when she doesn't die, she changes her self diagnosis to a torn tendon (I am not making this up) and though she refuses to go get the MRI the doctor ordered (because she KNOWS it will show that her tendon isn't torn!), she gets on the phone with all her friends telling them that my dad won't take her to the doctor for her torn tendon, but can someone please bring her a wheelchair? She also will round up a potty chair, use it, and make my dad empty it (but will sneak out of bed and do whatever she wants when she thinks no one is home or can see her).
It's maddening. I reserve the right to be ticked off about this and to refuse to empty her potty chair when I know good and darn well that she can get up. And she DOES get up after a few days of boredom in her bedroom - once people stop catering to her.
Had a neighbor I think with it. Scary. There was a strong element of narcissism with it & one of the most troubled people I'd ever met. And, I've met a lot through my work.
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I thought stuff like that only happened in gothic novels. 
